Sep. 1st, 2006 07:43 am
judecorp: (downcast)
Temp took a major, major nosedive today.
I woke up at 4:30am and could not go back to sleep.
I need to be at work ASAP.
I also seem to be getting a cold, and am congested and throat-icked.
I gave up on tossing and turning and woke Jen for comfort,
but instead we got into a huge argument.

I think if there is wine at Liquid tonight when [livejournal.com profile] vlindinhauer cuts my hair, I will partake.
judecorp: (nerdy girls)
I am having a hard time not getting prematurely excited about this:

My chart )

I know that testing too early sets me up for the possibility of false negatives, but I am going stir crazy. If my temp is in the 98s tomorrow, I am totally going for it.

p.s. I love charts. And math.
judecorp: (work poison)
I was stupidly excited this morning because my temperature went up again. I know it's not totally unusual, and really, my temps this cycle have been a lot lower than what's normal for me, but it's still exciting - so exciting that I had a hard time dropping back off to sleep after temping. I'm sure I'll be feeling that later because the more times/night that I wake up, the crappier sleep I get. At least I didn't have any cancer dreams. I think I had one about getting a pelvic exam, though, but it's hazy.

I thought it was supposed to be hot today but it looks like the same grey, cold crap we've had for a while now. So disappointing. I'm going to wear my summery clothes anyway and just freeze, dang it! (Maybe I will have to bring *gasp* as sweatshirt!)

Jen and I got into a stupid disagreement this morning that I wish wouldn't have happened but at the same time I'm also glad I said something and stuck up for myself. So many times I just try to ignore things that bother me so I don't rock the boat, but then I end up rocking my own boat anyway, so whatever. It still sucks, though.

I have a long day today - Coworker Sarah (not to be confused with Former Coworker Sarah) and I are throwing a surprise goodbye party for Coworker Nicole who is moving to NY at the end of the month. Sarah and I were totally ticked that work didn't arrange something special for Nicole even though she's done a LOT for the agency, so we took matters into our own hands. It was her birthday yesterday, too, so I must first procure a cake with lots of frosting. But really - how can my agency not throw her a party? They sort of tacked her on the backside of Gina's going-away party over a /month/ ago, and that is just not okay. I'm glad Sarah and I set something up, and I hope she's totally surprised. (She thinks she's going on an assessment with me.)

Here's hoping I make it to 8:00. Big Brother tonight, whee!
judecorp: (nudeysmurf)
I got a Peak on my monitor this morning, all by myself, with no ovulation-induction drugs. Cervical check seemed to confirm that I will ovulate today or early tomorrow. Unfortunately it didn't work out for us to go up to Waltham to get some goo out of the deep freeze and have a go of it at home, which makes me very sad because part of me really hoped we could get it done ourselves.


Anyone want to come over ASAP and make some babies?
judecorp: (work poison)
I'm having another one of those "I want to play!" days because the weather is simply perfect. Unfortunately I have quite the full day today, with three hours of play group followed by a quick lunch followed by three back-to-back home visits. I'm a little nervous about my second because it's with one of my Vietnamese families and our translator starts her vacation today. She assures me that Mom speaks English but I really think it's wishful thinking on her part because whenever I have talked with her in the past, we just don't understand each other outside of certain courtesies like hellos and thank yous. So we'll see.

I'm still debating whether or not I should even go to my last session of acupuncture. I wanted to ask Jen about it this morning but she left for work while I was in the shower. I am so torn about the whole thing - do I go and risk a confrontation or do I stay home and waste the money and potential benefit? Drama.

My temps are up but I don't think I ovulated... I think I'm having one of those fake ovulatory charts. Eh, doesn't matter since nothing's going on anyway.

Did I mention that I don't want to work? Yeah.
judecorp: (cat fud)
I made chili tonight. I thought it might be too hot outside for chili but it actually was pretty good. So now there is lots of leftover chili. Yum! It's supposed to get super hot over the weekend, though, so who knows about the chili.

I have to meet a family at Children's Hospital tomorrow at 9am. I hope there is an ATM there because I forgot to get parking money.

Last weekend I was talking to Coworker Marti and she was telling me about this family she works with, a teen mom who has teenage sisters and now one of the sisters is pregnant. I guess Marti asked her client if she ever talked to her sisters about birth control and the mom said she would be too embarrassed. So Marti relays this to my boss, who says, "You should bring Jude out there to talk to them. She likes to talk to people about sex." This is because the office still cracks up about the time I explained to a mom and a grandma where their clitoris was. I am a sex ed sensation at work!

Still no sign of ovulation, which is kind of poopy. I suppose I'll end up taking Provera to kick start the bleeding in a couple of weeks, which SUCKS because every time I've ever taken Provera I've become an emotional basket case. I wonder why that is? I've only ever taken it three times and they were all bad.

We have been invited to two weddings in August and they are both girl-girl weddings. That should be fun! Since they are in two completely different social circles, I can wear the same clothes. Which means I can wear the dress I wore to Mindy's wedding, since none of the same people will be there. Score! Hot clothes!

I really need some new clothes, preferably some pants that fit me and some shirts for warm weather that aren't tshirts. Someday I may have to get a job where you have to, you know, wear real clothes. Damn.

Ralph goes to the door and cries and cries to go out on the porch. I have created a monster. I shall have to take pictures of D & R in their outdoor happiness.

This post has no point whatsoever. Quick! Tell me a joke!
judecorp: (mad science)
In other weirdness, I got a High on my monitor this morning. It's only CD11 and last month I didn't get a High until CD15. So weird. I wonder if things are working and growing nice and early, or if it's just some weird PCOS crap. My temps have been kind of odd, too. I've been waking up at weird times but this morning my temp went up a lot. Not post-O up, but high enough that it will probably throw off my coverline (if/when I get one).

I just don't get it. I definitely feel (in the down-theres) like things are moving along, but it seems so early! Good thing I go in for ultrasound and bloodwork tomorrow morning to get the skinny.
judecorp: (i am stupid)
Yesterday was so much fun!

Jen and I headed up to her work to pick up some books that she'd been storing there (since we had the car). We managed to get parking on the street right across the street from the Hynes Convention Center (doesn't get better than that) and later ate lunch at Charley's because they had availability on their patio and I wanted to eat outside. So the lunch was mediocre but the weather was fantastic!

We made a Target run and then headed to Kriss and Jon's for their cook-out/pool party. Holy crap, heated pools are so awesome! Jen and I went in with Brandy and did some catching up, and while I was floating away on a comfy chair I also shot the breeze with Gretchen and Andy and Shani and Matt and some other people I didn't know.

When we got too cold, we changed back into clothes and just hung out, chatted, and had some girly drinks. I had a plastic cup shaped like a flamingo (with a matching flamingo straw) that I loved on all night. Everything tastes better in a flamingo cup! (Especially when we're talking sangria and pina coladas.)

We left fairly early, mostly because I forgot my Clomid at home and am trying to diligently take it at the same time every night. Then some Sims and a solid night's sleep.

I don't know what's up with me, but after months of popping up at 5am or so and temping I am starting to sleep through my temping times. Aie! I'm thankful for the less fitful sleep, but I wake up all freaked out when I see the clock. Whoops!

p.s. Why don't we see Kriss and Jon more? Or Brandy? Because we sure do like them!
judecorp: (radiskull)
  • On our way back from the grandparents', we were just getting into Boston proper when the sky totally blacked and we got a flash hail storm, complete with lightning. It was awesome. And it reminded me of Columbus.

  • I sure do miss the storms in Columbus.

  • My chart is really messing with me right now. It's starting to look triphasic, and even Fertility Friend thinks so, which is making me ridiculously hopeful even though I got a BFN (big fat negative) yesterday. Today I have a killer headache which has brought dizziness and nausea with it, which only helps fuel this optimism. I hope it's not setting us up for a letdown.

  • Jen bought me The Sims Party Pack for Mac since I can't use my PC Sims disks on the laptop. She is so sweet! The Sims is practically the only video game I like.

  • In other GOOD NEWS OF THE NERDY KIND, guess who is going to see American Idol in Concert? Ha ha, that would be ME, because The Awesome Lisa ([livejournal.com profile] buddhafly4224) knows I'm lame enough loves me enough to ask me to accompany her this summer. She got tickets for her birthday. I <3 Lisa!

  • Also, I am in my jammies and am going to install The Sims now. Yay!
judecorp: (nudeysmurf)
(I promise this is more than just a fertility journal. I swear! I'll write something else soon.)

There is something incredibly funny about this whole process. All of the "sharing" that is going on is a little outside of my comfort zone and a LOT outside of my growing-up experience.

You have to realize that as I grew up, I lived with a single father and my older brother. I saw my mother on Saturdays but we didn't have a terribly close mother-daughter relationship, and thus never had those "moments" where moms tell their little girls about the birds and the bees and why boys are bad and what to do when you wake up with blood in your underwear. Or whatever. I got all of my biological information from books (and of course the film strip we all saw in grade 6) because my closest female influence was my grandmother, who lived next door in a 1950s timewarp and just plain did not talk about things like, you know, sex. I got my first period when I was 14 years old and was one of the last of my friends, so I'd had all of their horror stories and was well prepared. But growing up in a house of boys always had an element of silence around All Things Female. It's not like Dad was going to run to the store and grab the newest and flashiest "feminine hygiene products" any more than my brother and I were going to sit around and swap cycle stories. It was actually kind of surreal when my dad's second wife moved in with her teenage daughter, because all of a sudden there was all of this talk of tampons and whatnot, right out in public! Aah, how the other half lived.

So it's always a little awkward when I have to call into my clinic and report to the nurse that, yes, today is Cycle Day 1 (which is much more medical and therefore more comforting to me than to say, "Hey, I got my period today, yo!"), and then we get to, you know, talk about it. Since it is the weekend, I didn't even get to talk to the nurse that I see all the time, and instead got forwarded to the Waltham office to talk to Strange Nurses. Which of course means this is the perfect cycle to have to Ask Questions.

Me: Umm, I umm, I just wanted to call and say I started a new cycle.
Strange Nurse: So this is Day 1?
Me: Well, see, that's what I wanted to ask you about. (*dying on the inside*) I actually... kindasortastartedlastnightIthinkalittle.
SN: When did you start full flow?
Me: (*dies again*, as "full flow" is one of those phrases that just, I don't know, *dies*) *goes into a longer explanation of when, and how much, and dear god just smite me now so I can stop, okay?*
SN: Okay, well, we'll just count today as Day One. Your regular nurse will call you tomorrow morning.
Me: Okay, thanks, bye! *dies* *sets chart and monitor*

Now this would all be exciting enough, except that my phone rings about 30 minutes later.

Me: Hello?
SN2: (after asking if I'm me, etc.) So you started your period last night sometime?
Me: (Lady, we hardly know each other!) Uhh, well, you see... [insert details here]
SN2: Okay, well today is Day 2.
Me: The last nurse said to call it Day 1.
SN2: Well, I like to use 10pm as a cut-off time.
Me: Umm, okay, thanks. *dies* *runs to reset the chart, the monitor, etc. like the obsessive freak that I am*

All this between 8 and 9 on a dreary Sunday morning. Who says there's no excitement in the world?

(This CD2 stuff is actually kind of a PITA because I'm supposed to start Clomid on Day 3 and the pharmacy usually overnights it to my house. So unless they can same-day it to my house tomorrow (from Waltham), I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Oh, the fun! Oh, the good times! When did my life become so much like a Woody Allen movie?)
judecorp: (radiskull)
Today I'm having a SAHM kind of day. It's Patriots' Day here in Massachusetts, which means no work, which means I can sit around in my jammies for a while, then finish the laundry, then maybe do some grocery shopping. I've been halfheartedly watching such quality television as Maury (10 Most Outrageous Paternity Guests) and Ellen DeGeneres (Bucky Covington and Jamie Foxx). Jen's closing the store today which means we had the morning together, and I'm glad we made the most of it. Nice.

I was exhausted yesterday because I'd gotten positively CRAP sleep the night before and I fell asleep around 9:30pm. When I woke up around 5:40am, I was pretty much wide awake for a while, so I temped and decided to give the $tree tests a try. It's 10DPO and of course it was a BFN. Temp was down this morning, too - not sure if it's because of the weird sleep hours or just randomness or what. Mad science all the way.

So I went back to bed for a little while and fell asleep for about an hour, and then Jen woke up and we were, erm, snuggling. And I guess we were in bed too long because Daedalus started pulling his "Feed me!" stuff and eventually parked himself at the foot of the bed and was just /staring/ at me. It was creepy so I made Jen put a pillow between me and The Big D. Voyeur kitty!

Last year I went to the marathon, but I don't think I will this year. I think I'll take advantage of the lack of crowds here in Dooster and leisurely run some errands. Dar tonight and I'll have to grab eeka, Mollwhy, and Jodie and head out to Wellesley. That reminds me - I suppose I should figure out exactly where this concert is and decide the best way to get there, avoiding marathon-ness.

I love days off!
judecorp: (work poison)
Lefty Tonsil was a little sore today but doesn't appear swollen. Here's hoping it's just a fluke. I am so tired of being surrounded by sick kids, their germs, and their bodily fluids. Today in playgroup I actually had a 2-year-old dig a booger out of his nose, show it to me on his finger, and say, "Look at my boogie!" On Tuesday, he was telling a co-teacher and I all about how he likes to eat boogies because they are yummy.

Man, kids are GROSS!

I had a really good advocacy moment at work today. Too bad it wasn't for one of my clients. I supervise an undergraduate intern who observes 2 playgroups (mine and a coworker's). I don't have a problem with her but my coworker REALLY does. And today she made a couple of majorly inappropriate comments about my intern to me. They bothered me, so I actually sucked it up and left her a voicemail calling her on her unprofessionalism and lack of respect. And she called me back and agreed with me!

Sometimes being a grownup kind of rocks.

Fertility Stuff: )

p.s. Mayonnaise is disgusting.
judecorp: (top of the world)
My temp was up a little bit this morning, so that's good. If it keeps going up into the 98s (it was 97.91) I'll have my confirmed O and will be quite happy. But I'm pretty confident it happened yesterday anyway - that's what the trigger shot is for.

I can talk about other things, I swear. No, really.

Jen and I went to Coworker Gina's house last night where she made us cheese fondue and chocolate fondue. I feel bad because Gina is /always/ feeding us. We have promised her dinner a million times and have never come through. So we really need to get on that. I do like eating her food, though. :)

I have an appointment for a haircut at 1:00 with the Dark Overlord. I think I want to jazz up my hair a little bit, make it a little more punk rock. Okay, not really, but I need /something/. Maybe. I'm starting to realize that I'm quite boring in my old age.

'stina got into WNEC for law school (go 'stina go!) and I'm all dizzy with the possibility that she and Jenny could be moving to Western Mass, too. Oh my gosh, that would be the awesomest thing ever - we'd have Jessica, 'stina and Jenny, Lisa, j and Jen, another Jen, and all of Jessica's groovy friends. Major good times in homo-ownership. We should all just live on one enormous farm! Viva la cooperative living!

I let Jen sleep in majorly this morning and I kind of wish I hadn't, because she ended up kind of oversleepy and we didn't get as much smooch time. Aah well, there's always tonight/tomorrow! This babymaking junk has been really good for our relationship. I wish I'd convinced her YEARS ago!
judecorp: (rubber duckie)
Holy crap on a crap cracker!

Guess whose insurance company agreed to pay for all IUIs and monitoring and ultrasounds and bloodwork and everything! Quick, guess!


I don't know how he did it, but my Boston IVF doctor stayed true to his word and put through the claim even though he said they would deny it, so that I could go through the appeals process and try to get stuff done. I guess he's got all of the magic words and is also the best doctor ever, because the office called me today (I thought they'd forgotten about me) and said they have pre-approved 24 office visits and all procedures! WOW!

More gory fertility stuff: )
judecorp: (nudeysmurf)
This is all about fertility junk. Be prepared for info on temps, charting, and ovulation. )
judecorp: (least resistance)
It's another cold day in the 'hood. Dashboard says 17° again which does not really please me. I have some frantic running around to do today - a home visit in Roxbury at 9:30 and then I have to make it to my doctor's appointment in Quincy at 11:00. I suppose it's doable but I get kind of paranoid about lateness, especially when I don't really know this doctor's policy on such things, since I've only been there once. Still, I should be able to make it.

Speaking of, Fertility Stuff: )

So tired. I keep waking up at 6:30am or so and I wish I wouldn't. I could really use that extra hour of sleep. Drat!
judecorp: (i am stupid)
Don't make me go outside today! Waaaaah! (Fairly light day - 1 school visit, 2 home visits, staff meeting, 1 home visit) It's freeeeeeeezing!

Jen started her new routine of getting up at 6:45am so she can make herself breakfast before work. This came from a conversation we had about when she saw the nutritionist and got some really great advice that she hadn't been able to really embrace yet. Breakfast is important, yo! My body woke me up at 6:30am because the sun was out. Damn it, I love longer days as much as the next guy but I hate sleeping farmer's hours. In Ohio, the sun came up LATER and stayed out LONGER and that worked much better for me. Aah well. I keep taking my temps earlier and earlier.

Fertility stuff: )

I'm so psyched that the Dolly Parton Transamerica song is free on iTunes right now. YAY! Dolly Parton is so cute. I love Dollywood. I was there for my first honeymoon, yo!

Have a wonderful day, friends!


Feb. 26th, 2006 12:38 pm
judecorp: (motherhood)
I think I'll probably start lj-cutting all of the baby-making stuff because I'm willing to bet there are people who absolutely don't want to see a million posts about charting and cervical fluid or whatever. I'm not great with consistently using filters, and besides, filters make things friends-only and I don't like that. So... skip the cuts if you don't want to see. :)

So I have this charting fantasy... )

Of course, I also have this weird dream where 2006 is going to be this dynamite year of change - new town, new house, new job for Jen, baby on the way. Right now, I can't really bear to imagine that these things might be, you know, difficult or less than smooth.
judecorp: (meow)
My supervisor called me this morning to tell me she was staying home sick. Whee, no supervision! This means I'm enjoying a little extra time in bed with the computer, laying in the sunshine like a cat (with some cats). I tried to enjoy a little extra time (and get a little extra lovin') with Jen but she totally denied me. Aah well, at least I have cats! Cats will never deny me!

Fertility Friend keeps telling me my temps might be incorrect, which is annoying. They need to realize that I just have wonky temps, and get over it!

p.s. Extra time in bed with cats = gooooooood.
judecorp: (control issues)
I always used to say (and think) that the whole "PMS = emotional" thing was just a schtick concocted by (who else?) the patriarchy to denigrate women and make them ashamed of their bodies, not to mention blame them for the crap they do wrong. And to a large extent, I still believe that.

I mean, think of all of the stupid products we have on the market to help women conceal their menstrual cycles, their body odors, etc. And how there is so much embarrassment wrapped up in girls' bodies that seems to just somehow seep into the consciousness of young women anywhere from 10-15 years old. And so on.

But I have to say, that spontaneous period thing on Tuesday night was BY FAR the /best/ thing that has ever happened to my funky Valentine's Day mood. Things had been kind of rocky for that whole weekend and of course - because, hello? I'm human - I blamed it all on Jen. Not that I'm letting Jen off scot-free, mind you (*giggle*), but hey, maybe I was a little extra, erm, sensitive. Or something. Yeah.


Also, I'm totally fooling myself that I'm going to start having more normal-ish cycles now that I've doubled the Metformin. I'm fooling myself so much so that I'm becoming a charting fool. "Just for giggles," I keep telling myself... but I'm secretly hoping that heck, maybe this will work and I'll actually ovulate somewhere in there. (I've made a few past attempts at charting but they always ended up in frustration... a few 100+ day cycles will do that to you.) So we'll see, right? It's appealing to my Inner Nerd, anyway. Aaah, graphs and spreadsheets.


judecorp: (Default)

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