judecorp: (bring it on)
Some people have been doing this "five questions" thing, and it seems like fun.

So... if you feel like it, ask me five questions. Any five questions. I'll give 'em a go!

xo

Seven

Feb. 15th, 2010 09:54 pm
judecorp: (ant reading)
I was tagged, and here's how it works:

A - List 7 habits/quirks/facts
B - Tag 7 people to do the same
C - Don't tag the person who tagged you, or tag "Whoever wants to do it"


1. I pick my cuticles and the skin around my fingernails and I can't stop. Sometimes I do it less than other times; I'm sure it's related to anxiety. But I can't stop.

2. I used to, until very recently, have my closet incredibly organized and all of my shirts arranged so that similar shirts were in groupings. Then I had my "long day job" and I got too tired to do that.

3. When I'm having blood drawn, I love to watch. I especially like watching the needle enter the skin, but I also like seeing how fast the blood comes out..

4. I type rather quickly (70+ wpm) but I do not type correctly. I use three fingers (one on the left, two on the right) and my right thumb. I can do this without looking.

5. I could eat ice cream every day if it was in my house. I love ice cream so effing much.

6. I remember pretty much everything I hear. If I hear a song on the radio once, chances are I will remember most of the words. And I never seem to forget them. I worry that my brain will fill up someday with song lyrics and commercial jingles. On a road trip with a friend once, he remarked, "My god, do you know EVERY song?".

7. I pee in the shower.

I tag: [livejournal.com profile] whuffle, [livejournal.com profile] cappucinogrrl, [livejournal.com profile] skatured, [livejournal.com profile] sassywoman, [livejournal.com profile] siercia, [livejournal.com profile] shanneeluee, and [livejournal.com profile] oppendonnell.
judecorp: (baby feet)
As seen on [livejournal.com profile] vishuddha_spin's journal:
The rules: name the 5 w's of your child(ren)'s names, then tag 5 of your friends to do the same! You can do one of your children or all of them.

Who named your child?: We both did. I'm pretty sure I initially suggested the first name, and Jen initially suggested the middle name. Scratch that - I know that's how it went down. And then I suggested using Jen's original last name as a second middle name.

What did you name him/her?: August Ruth [Last Names]

When did you come up with the name?: Somewhere in the middle of pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure it was after we lost the twin. We had been thinking of names for twins and then when we didn't have twins, it seemed somewhat odd to use any of the suggested twin names (even though they weren't "duo" names).

Where where you when you came up with the name?: I threw it out there one morning when we were laying in bed, some lazy Sunday or Saturday morning.

Why did you pick that name?: August is my paternal grandfather's middle name, an Anglicized version of Augusto. Ruth is Jen's paternal grandmother's name. Two admirable people.

I tag: [livejournal.com profile] sassywoman, [livejournal.com profile] viggie, [livejournal.com profile] hazeldragon, [livejournal.com profile] lelumama, and [livejournal.com profile] firecrotch.

Jude-ology

Apr. 27th, 2008 10:22 am
judecorp: (think of me)
(stolen from all of the MUFF mamas)

Memeage )
judecorp: (nerdy girls)
You don't blog enough about trendy Interweb stuff like Twitter and Facebook, even though I know you're all up in the Facebook. So, blog about social networking and the "new media".

It's true. I'm all up in the Facebook. Not necessarily in the vampire/werewolf/pirate/green patch/oregon train/whatever sense but in the networking. I am all about the social networking. Actually, I like to collect friends. There, I said it. :) (Don't you want to be my friend?) I like the social networking but it doesn't allow for interpersonal connection, and I think it's lacking because of that. It doesn't "do it" for me like some other things have because of that.

I was talking to someone a while back about the internet in the 90s and how it helped bring together a whole group of people that I would have otherwise NEVER been exposed to. I mean, I know one of the foremost Klingon speakers in the world. WTF? How did THAT happen? And so many more. And a lot of them have continued to be in my life via LiveJournal and I am happy for that, especially where I don't have the time or mental energy for real-time chatting anymore. How I used to do that is beyond me. But I loved the sense of community, the exchange of ideas, the bringing together of differences. So I tend to stick to things that continue that: LiveJournal, forums, stuff like that.

That doesn't mean I don't like to hoard friends on networking sites. I was a beta tester for Friendster back in the day and I do enjoy a little Facebook. But I'm terrified of MySpace. (Go fig.) And I got a Twitter invite once but haven't looked into it. I don't really know what it's about.

I probably didn't answer this at all. Although I know I'm much less likely to run into famous Klingon speakers anymore.
judecorp: (baby feet)
I have questions... Do you want more babies? Have you thought about a time frame regarding making more babies? Would you carry the next baby?

I want more children. I would love to get working on another right now because I'd love to have kids close in age, but finances and life won't really allow for that.

Jen would like to get pregnant. She was actually supposed to do the pregnant thing last time but it didn't work out that way. She has a bunch of things she wants to do, health-wise, before that happens so I have no idea when that might be. Sadly. Because I am a big planner.

I also want to adopt. Originally I thought we would have one bio-kid (Jen's) and then adopt, but then I got pregnant and Jen still wants a turn, so who knows?

Ego Meme

Mar. 25th, 2008 08:36 pm
judecorp: (i'm special)
This is making the rounds.

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind that you're not so bad in other people's eyes after all.

Comments Screened.
judecorp: (reaching for star)
I'd like to know more about your religious leanings. I believe you've mentioned the UCC church, which (if I'm remembering correctly) is the one open to everyone from atheists to hardcore jesus-freaks. Where do you fall on the spectrum.

Are your beliefs and Jen's beliefs fairly well aligned? If not, how do you work around that?


I was raised Roman Catholic. All my life, with 13 years of Catholic school to boot. And you know what? I loved it. I was really into it. I sang in the children's choir. Did liturgical dances with other girls in my class. Played sports through CYO (Catholic Youth Organization). Taught religious education. Was the youth member of the parish council. Was a peer minister in high school. Did a bazillion service projects. I had big church love.

And there were a lot of things the Catholic Church and I didn't agree on. And while there are certainly a large number of Catholics who believe in a sort of "Catholic Buffet" where you pick and choose what things you want to believe in and follow, I had too much respect for the Catholic Church to do that. I really think that if you are going to be a member of a church or religion, you really should be able to stand by everything they say. So I left.

From there I spent a little time exploring my pagan side. I enjoyed writing and doing rituals and liked the philosophical stuff behind it all, but I had a heck of a time finding community, because I couldn't really find a group of pagans that wanted to be more pro-pagan than anti-christian. So I went to the Unitarian Universalists, because they'll take anyone. I belonged to a great UU church in Bangor, Maine and then an okay church in Columbus, Ohio. And when Jen and I moved back to Massachusetts I conned her into going to some services with me. But we didn't really find a congregation in the Boston area that we really clicked with. So we occasionally went to the church in Quincy, or sometimes to Arlington Street. I wasn't really feeling the UU stuff as much but I love their youth program.

When we came here to Western MA, we again looked for a UU church to join. And again we just didn't mesh with the people. Most of the congregations were older, not terribly approachable. We went to one church many times and people didn't really talk to us. I wanted to switch churches but as Jen always told me she wasn't Christian, I didn't really know where we could both go. But later she said that she felt like UU sermons were like sitting in a comparative religion or philosophy class instead of church and was amenable to looking around.

I was really interested in the United Church of Christ because they have a strong social justice component (which I love about the UUs) and they do the Jesus thing without using Jesus to put people down, or persecute people, or whatever. They really seem to get to the heart of what Jesus was (at least to me) and have a kind of Jesus I can really get into, the kind of Jesus I really loved when I was a child. And that's what I want for my child(ren), you know? That "Jesus loves me" feeling, that idea of Christianity that is all about helping others and lifting people up and promoting peace. So I finally convinced Jen that we should check out this one particular church, and she agreed.

And I went into labor the night before. Oops. So that got put on hold.

We eventually went when Punk was about 3 months old, and as soon as we walked in, people TALKED to us. One couple came right up to us when we weren't sure what to do (we had intended to bring Punk into the service but someone trying to be helpful told us to bring her to the child care area which we were sooo not cool with) and just started talking about what they did with their daughter when she was a baby, etc. Just really welcoming. And there were young couples there, and young families, and LOTS of kids. It was just a real "Aha" moment for me, and I knew right away that it was the place for me.

I was concerned that Jen wouldn't want to go again because of the Jesus factor, but I think she realized how much I really wanted the Jesus factor and she did agree that it felt more like church than the UUs, and she wanted a church family to raise our daughter in. So we joined, and Punk will be baptized this spring. I don't know if Jen is as into it as I am (she was raised Catholic; her mom is Catholic and her dad is Jewish) but I think she is as committed to bring faith to our kids.

Yay!

But as for the spectrum... I consider myself a big fan of Jesus and Christlike living. I don't mean being a fundamentalist Bible-thumper, or in any kind of hellfire and brimstone kind of way. I mean living like Christ. I think he was the ultimate social worker.
judecorp: (mini me)
Impress everyone by telling them you know Jake Meyers. Talk about the old MUSHing days. And let them know that I know everything because I'm Grendel.

I know Jake Meyers. Intimately. You may find this hard to believe but I assure you that it is true. So you've heard he runs the city? You've heard he can crush people with a wave of his little finger? Also true. As sure as the spurs on his boots.

Ha! Those were the days!

I will never forget when [livejournal.com profile] rizzo41 came back to our dorm room one night after some time in the computer lab and said, "I found a new MUSH, it's another roleplaying MUSH, but it's set in Pittsburgh and it's about vampires." Neither of us had ever so much as HEARD of the White Wolf vampire roleplaying game system and were not even remotely what you would consider "gamers," but hey, who doesn't like vampires? I mean, really. Vampires, dudes.

So we made some characters (once again realizing we knew NOTHING about the game system) and started playing. I never got into tabletop role playing and don't really understand the appeal of hanging out with a bunch of rule books and dice and whatever, talking to people face-to-face about wanting to use power A to defeat enemy B and get reward C to build experience and buy D. Just thinking about it makes me feel a little silly. But online roleplaying, to me, ended up being more like group story-writing. And I can dig a little fiction. Somehow I gravitated toward other creative folks, folks who were less interested in "winning" and dice-rolling and more into choosing words carefully and painting a good picture. I guess that's how I shimmied my way into the power-players.

So Jake Meyers, Prince of the city, ended up being a really funny and sweet guy that we all know and love - my dear friend Guy Incognito. You will know him as the Ultimate Ratbutt in our yearly Superbowl bet (even though I lost this year, pooey!), and even though I haven't seen him in forever, I think of him often and am really glad I played that silly vampire game back in the day or else we'd never have met.

Come to think of it, I think he /caused/ the big Patriots upset. Because he's Grendel.
judecorp: (work poison)
Okay, how about your life in CPS? What's the very worst case your dealt with? What's the best case?

Aaah, child welfare. When I lived in Ohio, I spent a brief amount of time (after we were all "restructured" out of work at the homeless shelter) working for an organization that acted as a contract agency for Franklin County Children's Services. Basically, Ohio was trying to save money by contracting out child welfare casework. These contract organizations would get $x per case and the organization's goal was to close the case before the money ran out.

I'm not even kidding.

I was pretty lucky in my child welfare life in that I didn't see anything horrible. I didn't see any awful awful abuse or any kind of really scary neglect. I imagine those cases are pretty rare. I had a lot of stupid things like "educational neglect" (when a kid misses too many days of school) and I had a number of cases with teens in the juvenile justice system. And then there were the cases where the parents hate each other so they call FCCS on each other every other day and talk about how mom is taking the baby to the crack house or dad is beating the kid in the car. And I would have to go, EVERY TIME, and investigate even though I know it was a lie.

Because of the high turnover of employees, I had very few cases that were mine from case opening. Someone would quit and all of the cases would have to be reshuffled. Some of my tougher cases (mostly the unruly teens sent out to foster homes in the middle of nowhere so they would stay out of trouble, or the teens in the residential programs) had been passed on so many times it was out. of. control. The records were a total disaster and someone would quit and everyone would try to pick and choose the least messy cases. I always got suckered into taking what no one else wanted. Like the teenage sex offender. And the girl who just cursed everyone out and ran away all the time (which means that the on-call worker ALWAYS had to deal with this girl and therefore always hated you). One time my friend ([livejournal.com profile] sarahaubry) was on call and of course SC ran away again. Because she is MEAN, she called me at like 3am to say that SC was downtown. She came to pick me up. Man, SC was surprised to see me there! She actually kind of liked me so it was like being busted. Heh.

The best case ever wasn't even my case, it was Sarah's. For a while when I was training, I shadowed her so I got to know a lot of her cases. (Of course, when she quit it meant that I got most of her cases.) One of her families was an aunt who was fostering her niece and who also had a daughter a similar age (both teenagers). The aunt was a big old butch lesbian who was also incredibly inappropriate (I love that) and we would go over and she would just start trash talking people. She was that woman who would say anything. The first time I came to her house, she asked Sarah later, "So. Your friend. She gay?" She also was known to open the door when Sarah and I were laughing about something and be all, "What are you bitches cackling about now?" She was just really open and really awesome and I loved her. It wasn't a great case from a worker standpoint (M's mom was nowhere in sight and she was really just riding out until she was 18) but it was a good time all around.

The worst case I had was this awful and sticky sexual abuse case. (Aren't they all?) Basically a little girl (maybe 10? 11?) told someone that her dad had molested her, and that person called it in. By the time I got the case, the whole family had worked on this girl so hard that she was talking about how she made it up. She was living with her aunt and uncle because of all of this (dad was homeless and technically didn't live in the home but was always there) and even THEY didn't believe her, but used the opportunity to tell mom how she didn't know how to raise her kids, blah blah. She had two brothers and they were furious that dad couldn't come around, so they kept saying awful things to her about how she was a liar. This poor girl was just a freaking MESS and no one wanted to realize that they were totally effing her up by not supporting her. I mean, she reports sexual abuse and no one wants to take her to counseling, no one wants to tell her dad to stay away, nothing. She was just this poor, sad, broken little thing floating around her aunt and uncle's house, picking up after their kids and failing out of school. Going to court for that case was a total mess because the dad was always disheveled and rambling, and the mom had mental illness big time and just couldn't see past her own existence, and then there were there two big angry brothers, then the uncle who kept telling his sister she was a bad mom, and all of the lawyers (mom's public defender, dad's public defender, the aunt and uncle got a lawyer, the daughter had an advocate, we had our lawyer, etc.). I was never so glad to hand a case over. Bleh.

I also had a case where dad was always mad at mom whenever she would go on a date, so if she went on a date (they were not together) he would ALWAYS call in a report on her. At least once a week. And I would always have to go there and question mom AGAIN and then go and talk to dad and he was totally nuts. He tried to invite me over for dinner once (gross) and then said I could "bring my girl along." Gross.

Basically, though, what I hated was that I couldn't do good work. I had too many cases and too many things going on, and while I did a decent job keeping up with paperwork and made sure to see all of my kids every month, I couldn't really get on top of linking families up with enough services, I couldn't answer phone calls as timely as I would have liked, and I really beat myself up over that. I really like to do my best work and do right by my families and I absolutely wasn't able to do that, ever, and that really killed me. I used to have nightmares about that job.
judecorp: (think of me)
(Technically this isn't something I never blog about, but it has been a while.) It's a three-fer!!

1. Can you tell me more about your gender identity and how it has evolved, particularly before/during/after pregnancy, but also in the time period before you ever started the "being a mama" process?

2. For awhile there, most likely hormonal changes and stuff you were getting to be a little "girlie" and I don't mean that as negative, but you let your hair grow out more and wore more dresses, etc... I remember you posting a lot that you felt very gender neutral like not one way or the other (which is kind of how I remember you, btw). Anyhow, I recall you posting about these differences and you hadn't mentioned in awhile, how do you feel now-a-days. Are you back to your neutral self or do you still feel more lady-like?

3. Ok- a question about your hair... I have seen some hott pics of your hair in different states- you look uber sexy with a buzz, but then, I have seen that beautiful (and girly) pic of you in a swanky dress with girly hair! I know that you identify as all over the map, but can you explain the huge variance in your spectrum? Are there days when you feel like being super girly, and then days where you feel like being super- um, un-girly?

Oh, and did the birth of August change the way you felt about your gender-identity?


Hormones are very powerful things, my friends.

One of the things I learned when I was doing all of the tests for PCOS was that I had elevated testosterone. This is not at all uncommon in people with PCOS. In fact, other that the elevated testosterone, my hormones were all really, really low. Which is apparently why I never even got close to ovulating. Which is why I didn't have polycystic ovaries. (Which is why doc #2 said I didn't have PCOS. Go doc #3!) But I digress. I am a very happy person with elevated testosterone and little other hormone action. No cycling. No mood swings. No unexpected bleeding. No crazy zit attacks.

Taking fertility meds definitely changed a lot of things for me, and most of them were not positive. I really didn't like not being even-keeled and mellow, and I didn't like the ups and downs of cycling. I didn't like having boob pain and I didn't like breaking out every month. I didn't like spontaneously crying. I /did/ like losing a ton of weight. BUT. Losing weight changed my entire body shape.

When I lost all of that weight, I needed new clothes, especially pants. Before I lost weight, I predominantly wore men's pants. After I lost weight, men's pants looked silly and fit poorly. I needed to buy women's pants. Which fit AWESOME. But they all had that 'cut,' you know? Low rise, tight at the knees, flare at the bottom. In other words, they were 'how YOU doin'?' pants. Even if they were camo cargo pants, they were GIRLY camo cargo pants.

I started to realize that having boy hair and girly-girl pants looked REALLY stupid. So I let my hair grow for a bit, encouraged by [livejournal.com profile] vlindinhauer, who did great hair. I also realized that wearing boy shirts and girly-girl pants looked stupid, too. So I got girly shirts (which are all tight! wtf?). And what can I say? I make a cute girl, as far as girls go. But a few things happened: 1) I started getting a LOT of attention from guys, especially strangers, and 2) I got pregnant and people started treating me like "the little woman." I effing hated it. Especially when I used to pass as a guy sometimes.

In a perfect world, I'd like to sort of be able to float between both worlds - boy when I want to be, girl when I want to be. I don't mind when people can't tell. I don't mind if I get 'sir, uhh... ma'am' action. I don't mind if people assume I'm queer. (I found that I do mind a little bit when people assume I'm not. I guess I'm not used to that.)

I gained back all of the weight I lost during pregnancy and I haven't been able to shake it. But the changes to my body shape have not gone away. My boobs, which were already lopsided (one just under an A and the other just over a B) got even MORE lopsided with nursing since I only had milk ducts on the right side of my right boob (now a C) which makes me hate them more and makes me more inclined to bind them. But I haven't, mostly because my body is tired and out of shape and craptastic and I don't really care what I look like these days.

I'm glad I cut my hair off, though. It was cute, and I looked pretty hot (I would have totally done me), but it felt funny. I loved the feeling of being pregnant, and I loved my big belly full of baby, but I hated being treated like a pregnant woman. I hated people assuming I was 'uncomfortable,' offering to carry things for me or pump my gas, assuming I was hotter than someone else on a hot day. I hated butch women giving Jen a high-five because I was pregnant, yet ignoring me. I hated never being able to pass, not even a little. And while I loved nursing, I hate my boobs.

I do see myself as a mama, a birthing mama, which I suppose is female at its very core. But I still don't feel like a woman. Heck, if Punk wanted to call me 'daddy' or 'baba,' I would be totally cool with that, even though she came out of my body.

I think the weirdest thing about being girly for a year or two was how I was treated so differently. I was the same person all along but my life with others was SO different. I'm glad to be rid of that. For now. Who knows? I could always switch it up again. (But I kinda doubt it.)

I don't feel like I answered everything, or that I was particularly coherent. Feel free to keep asking.

Pics. )
judecorp: (music=life)
I would like to hear more about what relaxes you, what music makes you emotional.

I am not very good at relaxing. At all. I am not very good at doing nothing, or lounging around, or whatever. But I do like to have fun! So these are some of the things I think are fun: spending time with Jen, hanging out with friends, going to the ocean, hiking/camping, enjoying a little alcohol, and making out. Preferably combinations of these. Heck, if Jen and I could hike out to the ocean, camp with some friends, have a few beers by the fire and then make out, I think I would be all set!

As for music, pretty much all music makes me emotional. Well, except for music that sucks. There are a few Dar Williams songs that kick me in the gut ("The One Who Knows" is one) because of the content, and Ani DiFranco's "Gratitude" makes me bawl like a baby in the right mood, but really any song can make me emotional in the right context or if I have the right associations with it. I love music. LOVE. Especially live. Pretty much any music, when live, can get me going.
judecorp: (cat fud)
Alright, I'll bite... what /are/ your thoughts on lima beans? Garbanzos, black beans, heck, even lentils? Do you have any good recipes to share? (Ok, not having access to the foodnetwork has really kicked in now...)

Ha!

I don't particularly like eating lima beans. They seem kind of tasteless to me. I suppose I don't DISlike them, and I would eat them in a dish, but I don't go around putting lima beans in things. HOWEVER, I do like using beans/seeds and soaking them and trying to make plants out of them, and lima beans are VERY good for this. In fact, in college for fun I made a bunch of lima bean plants, and one of them got quite huge and actually started producing lima beans of its own. That was fun! (I have also done peas, corn kernels, and a few other beans.)

I really like garbanzo beans, especially when made into delicious hummus or on top of a yummy salad. And I prefer black beans to, say, pinto beans. I don't know much about lentils. At all.

And umm, I don't really cook worth a damn so I'm afraid I'm really of no help to you whatsoever in the recipe department. However, a number of my peeps are good cooks, especially my [livejournal.com profile] smurfbrother, and I do invite them all to now share their best bean/pea/legume recipes with you. :)
judecorp: (erase hate)
tell me about your most recent interaction with homophobia and how you dealt with it.

and then give yourself a hug, because i wish i could. i think you are amazing.


Awwh, I love you too! Big big love!!

We don't see a lot of homophobia around these parts. I mean in my day-to-day. We live in a pretty queer area, attend a queer-friendly church, and reside in the only state in the US that has marriage equality. So we don't really have to worry much, here, about hospital visiting and all of that. Which is nice. And usually people don't yell things like, "No gay marriage for f*cking gays!" like when we lived in Columbus.

But I guess the most recent thing was filing our taxes. Our taxes are such a HUGE pain in the butt because we are legally married in Massachusetts, yet the Federal Government does not recognize our marriage because of the Federal DOMA (thank you, Mr. Clinton). So we have to file a joint return to the state, and individual returns for the Feds. This means:

1. We can't file everything online because the online programs assume you have the same info for Feds and State, and we don't. So we do paper returns or we choose one to file online.

2. We have to do twice the work because first we do the separate returns, and then we have to RE-do it like we were filing jointly so we can import the data into the state return.

3. When it comes to the Fed return, we have to decide who claims the house interest deduction, who claims the baby, etc. And then run the risk of audit if they think it's weird that different women claim the kid in different years.

And honestly? It's unconstitutional and wrong that the Feds can do this, or that we have to have Jen adopt her own child even though she is already on the birth certificate because other states can do this, too. The Constitution has a Fair Faith and Credit clause that guarantees that if something is legal in one state, the other states have to go along with it. You know, except if your talking about marriage between a couple of dirty queers.

How do I deal with the tax thing? I get really annoyed. Really really annoyed.

Every year I say I'm going to include a letter with my taxes that states that I should be filing a joint return and paying more taxes but because the Feds refuse to recognize my legal marriage, they are losing out on some extra Big Gay Taxes. But... I never do. Because when push comes to shove I just want to get my returns in and get my money.
judecorp: (remember it)
This was a pretty popular topic. It was suggested twice!

you've mentioned in the past that you were married to a man years ago. how did you know that you were attracted to women? did people support you when you came out?

what's the story behind being married to a dude, getting divorced, and getting together with jen? do you identify as gay/lesbian or bi or something else? and while we're asking personal questions: how old were you when you got married and divorced?

I got married the first time in August of 1999, when I was 23 years old, to a guy I had been dating since 1996. We broke up in 2001 but the divorce (well, dissolution: we had an uncontested thing) didn't go through until late spring of 2002. He and I were friends, then we dated long distance, then we got engaged and were still long distance, then I moved up to Maine to be with him, and then we got married. We moved to Ohio together, originally because he wanted to go to graduate school there in natural resources management. He ended up not getting into school at the time, and now does some sort of computer stuff and is in graduate school for computer stuff as well. He is still in Columbus.

Sad for both of you, there really isn't any big scandal or shocking revelation. :) I didn't get divorced because I was queer and there was no Jerry Springer action. We actually just really stopped getting along and our relationship got really REALLY crappy, which sucked because we had been very good friends. It was very amicable aside from the initial splitting up and we still stay in touch. We didn't own anything really so the actual legality of everything was really easy also.

I had some hot girl-on-girl action before A and I got together but no actual full-on relationships. Not for any big reason - I was an equal-opportunity dater and just didn't know a lot of available girls at the time. I consider myself "queer" both because I will date a person regardless of gender and because I'm pretty loose with my own gender identity. Since both "lesbian" and "bi" involve a binary concept of gender, I don't really fit. I have pretty much been involved with the whole gender spectrum - bio males, bio females, MtF, FtM, and genderqueer - and while I will say that sexually I prefer female-bodied folks, it's not an absolute. I realized I was queer in high school. I went to Catholic school, though, so I didn't have a lot of opportunities. :)

Jen and I actually met in 1995 - so before I got with my ex. We were friends the whole time A and I were together, and A and I even went on at least one double date with Jen and one of her exes. (A had a crush on Jen's ex, E, big time.) We lost touch for a while and got back in touch after A and I split up, got to talking a lot, spent a weekend away together, and the rest is history.

This seems weird now, I guess because kids come out so early these days, but I never really came out or whatever. I think the closest thing to coming out was when I was in my first year of college and I asked my father if he would be upset if I brought a girl home. (It was totally hypothetical.) He said no. I guess at one point after I was married to A I told my mother that if A and I hadn't gotten together I would probably have a girlfriend, but I don't think she really believed me. My mother and I don't talk a heck of a lot about anything personal.

To be honest, I was more worried about what my family would think about my getting divorced than about being with a woman. My family, especially my grandparents, is very Catholic and while there is a lot of divorce in my family, I did not intend to follow along in that tradition. It's VERY humbling to have a big wedding where you pledge your commitment to someone in front of all of your family and then later take it back. It was AWFUL telling everyone that A and I had split up. Awful. (He actually didn't tell his family for many months after, and we had to pretend we were still together when his dad was dying.)

Obviously at this point my entire family knows that Jen and I are together, even though we didn't have a wedding ceremony (we went to City Hall). She stood in the family line at my father's wake/funeral and is a permanent fixture in my family. My mom was really weird about things for a while (but really, she is weird about a lot of things) but eventually she got over it.

Like I said, no drama. Sorry! :)
judecorp: (think of me)
(Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] on_reserve)

Meme Alert
Everyone has things they blog about.
Everyone has things they don't blog about.
Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on lima beans, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc.

Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other!
Comments are screened and responses/posts will be posted separately.
judecorp: (probst loves me!)
It tends to come around every once in a while. This time I was tagged by Lynn at Family Style Love.

The Rules:
1) Link to the person that tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6) Let the fun begin!

1. I am not really endorsing this as a parent, but I love Kool-Aid. Seriously love it. I especially love the blue Kool-Aid substance they serve at Bob Evans.

2. My favorite pajama pants are blue. They have devil faces on them and say "handsome devil" all over them.

3. I tend to go through cereal in spurts. For all of the time that I was TTC, I had a bowl of cheerios with bananas every morning. Then when I was pregnant, I had raisin bran every morning. I am currently trying to vary my cereal choices, though I don't want cheerios /or/ raisin bran.

4. I love reality television. My favorite is Survivor but I have recently become enamored of Big Brother as well.

5. In a similar vein, I once participated in an online Survivor game on LiveJournal and I won! I met [livejournal.com profile] estrange through this game and she was "in my alliance." I also met [livejournal.com profile] peaceorchestra and [livejournal.com profile] casinoemp this way. (Hi, guys.)

6. My favorite kind of pizza is Hawaiian pizza. People seem to have a love or hate for Hawaiian pizza. I am a lover for sure!

I'm not really going to tag anyone, but you can do it if you want to! xoxo
judecorp: (i have a question)
stolen from [livejournal.com profile] hope_persists

Because we never really know each other as well as we think, in response to this post I'd like you to ask a question. Anything about which you are curious, anything you feel you ought to know about me. Silly, serious, personal, fannish. Ask away. Then copy this to your own journal, and see what people don't know about you.

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judecorp

December 2011

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