judecorp: (me and gus)
I am so excited. Today is our Special Punk and Mama day! We have been looking forward to it for a week.

Punk gets out of school at 11:30 today, so I didn't go to work. Well, I wouldn't have gone anyway because my work school district doesn't have school today, LOL. But anyway. Tukey is at day care today, so I am going to pick Punk up and take her out to lunch and a movie. I don't know who is more excited, her or me!

With two kids, we have a lot of one-on-one time doing things like running errands or reading an extra story, things like that. This is like a special treat for us, to have outings.

I think we will both have big smiles on our faces when we pick up Tukey this afternoon. :)
judecorp: (ant reading)
First one of the third grades in the school in which I work had lice.
Then a second grade.
And a kindergarten.

And then a lice note went through Punk's school. The lice was in one of the elementary classrooms but they sent the note to everyone.

And then lice was back in the kindergarten at work.

All of this lice talk makes me itchy all the freaking time! MAKE IT STOP, PEOPLE.

Itch.
Itch.
Itch.
judecorp: (marshmallows)
Summer is winding down and going back to work is looming just around the corner. There is one more week of summer life before Labor Day. How is that even possible? We have had a great and busy summer, so I know the time has truly passed but I am not ready. I am clinging to summer kicking and screaming even as the leaves begin to turn and the tomatoes are plentiful on my kitchen counter.

We spent the summer living a simple life, accommodating the baby's naps and just enjoying each other. I treasured the snuggly television watching with my daughter while my son slept in his room for his morning nap. We made crafts and played with water in the sink. We practiced writing letters and completed workbooks. She is falling right into my childhood footsteps - little nerdlet in training.

My son began the summer as a mostly immobile little guy who was content to swat at toys on the play mat and is now a nine month old force of destruction. He can tear apart my clean living room in less than a minute, climbing up and pulling things down, dumping over containers, scattering toys with might and mission. He shrieks and babbles, pulls the cats' tails, and adores his sister ferociously.

We spent a bunch of time this summer watching Punk's BFF, and it was great (and restful) watching the girls interact and watching C grow into an honorary big sister, handing the baby toys and talking to him so sweetly. We took weekly trips to our CSA farm and the big girls picked tomatoes and beans, cut flowers, and helped me choose the plumpest vegetables. We had a number of play dates with school friends and other babies. And kept the living easy.

We are now entering a new chapter in our lives together, me and my two. The baby doesn't remember going to day care and has entered the world of separation anxiety, which is likely to make the next few weeks rough. We switched him from the big day care center to the lovely, cozy home day care that Punk attended when she was two-to-three. I think this will be better for him, to have his own area for sleeping and a mom's touch, not to mention being around the corner from my job so I can fetch him as necessary. Punk is headed back to her Montessori classroom but will add two more days of after-school care since the pick-ups in the afternoon have to shift to accommodate picking up the baby first. She is looking forward to no longer being the youngest child in the classroom and it will be good for her to have some new kids to mentor.

I am not looking forward to going back to work but it will be nice to see the friendly adult faces that sustain me throughout the work day. It is nice to be wanted at work and I have enjoyed the relationship I've made between my agency and my school. I will enjoy seeing how my clients have grown over the summer and see their sun-kissed faces at the start of their new school year.

Time seems to march quickly when the work week hits full swing and I'm gobsmacked to realize that I will soon be planning my son's first birthday party. To think we are mere months away from first steps and words. It is humbling to be entrusted with these sweet souls.

I don't know what the next year will bring for my children and me, but we are ready for it and will meet it all with love.
judecorp: (jesus hates yankees)
It has been over a month since I used this thing. Hi!

Tukey is 6 months old. SIX MONTHS! He is still kind of half-heartedly nursing, especially in the middle of the night. So that means we have been nursing for six months, which was kind of my pipe dream. Go me! He is also still getting over half of his daily nutrition from donated breastmilk - about 25oz of donor milk per day. (Any more than that and I would run out before getting more.) I have been very resourceful and scrappy in finding donors and picking up people's stashes and stuff, so I'm pretty proud of myself. I have one box of domperidone left and I'm not buying more, so I imagine I will lose my milk in about 12 days and we won't be nursing anymore. Sad about it but can't justify buying more.

There are a couple of weeks left of the school year and I am excited to be home with the kids for the summer, but nervous about being able to entertain them both all summer by myself. I'm sure I will get into a groove and am excited to be off work. (But the lack of pay will hurt.)

Why do I make babies who don't like to sleep? Why? I like to sleep!!

Brain Dump

Apr. 16th, 2011 07:31 pm
judecorp: (keep going)
I haven't written here in a million years. In my head I am this regular, witty blogger. I have all of these clever things to say and even cleverer ways to say them. It just never happens, because by the time I get to a computer I am wiped. out.

I only work 3 days a week but it feels like 7. And I don't even really work full days some of the time. But it feels like it. I hardly sleep and I subsist on coffee. Good thing I love coffee, and I have an amazing cousin in Seattle who sends me beans from her favorite shops. Yum.

This coming week is school vacation week and I am doing a little babysitting (to make a little money) and my sister-in-law is visiting. I love when my brother visits too but sometimes it's nice to just have Gretchen over (just like sometimes it's nice to have just Rick). She is staying through Easter and it will be nice to a) have a week home with my kids and b) have some company while I do that. We can go on adventures and just in general chill with two kids.

Two kids. Woah. Two kids is a lot of work, and at the same time it isn't. Extra stuff to remember before you head out the door. Extra chaos in the mornings. Really needing a second set of hands at nighttime (they go to bed at the same time pretty much). He sleeps pretty well but still is up twice to eat and I don't go to bed as early as I should so I am always in a fog of coffee-hyperactivity.

Ideally I would go to bed around 9pm but there is so much to do in the evenings like pack the day care back, make sure Punk has a lunch for the next day, run the dishwasher so there are clean bottles, thaw milk for the next day, run laundry, etc. Since the kids go to bed at 7, all of those jobs get done after that. Thankfully they both go to bed pretty easily and (usually) stay asleep for a while so the stuff can get done.

In sum: Life is busy but awesome.
judecorp: (work poison)
I am drowning. In a sea of First World Problems, but I am still drowning.

We applied for financial aid for Punk's fancypants Montessori preschool and they offered us a $2000 scholarship for next year. Unfortunately, that's not enough for us to feasibly send her to that school, the school she loves that has been very good for her this year in terms of keeping her stimulated and also encouraging her out of her comfort zone (Punk does not like to do anything that she thinks is "hard"). It was such a good fit for her and even though she is the youngest in her class this year, you would never know it and she is very comfortable there. But it is so expensive and with a second now in day care, there's just no way we can pay the price tag. We really needed $5000 off to make it work. I have her parent-teacher conference on Monday and I will probably bawl my way through it.

On top of that, going back to work totally sucks. I mean, the people at my job are happy to see me, and the kids I returned to are happy to see me, but my heart is not in it, my head is not in it, and I don't get nearly enough sleep to be able to effectively use my brain in that way. I am sort of floating through the job which isn't really working when I am taking countless referrals and doing tons of intakes, which generate tons of paperwork and involve tons of thinking/diagnosing/making treatment plans. I would really just rather be home with my kids, especially since I won't even be able to send Punk to the place I love next year.

Part of me would like to find another job, or go back to the Early Intervention stuff I loved and felt super competent at, but then I remember that this job gives me summers off to be with my kids and I feel like I have to stay there forever. It just all seems so heavy right now.

My most beloved cat, Daedalus, has recently started losing fur in little clumps on both sides of his body. It doesn't look like an allergy or a reaction or a fungus or anything, it is just falling out. And I am terrified that something is dreadfully wrong with him, so soon after Ralphie died. I don't think I can handle it.

I'm just in way over my head and I don't really know what to do. One foot in front of the other, I guess, but it's just so hard on so little sleep. I feel like I start the day already almost entirely out of coping skills just by having to haul myself up out of an exhausted stupor, and then to be totally swamped at work and not thrilled about where my kids are going to be, etc. It is too much.
judecorp: (killing time)
I had all of these intentions of going to bed early. I have this lingering cold that I would like to stop lingering, and my left tonsil is misbehaving again. I was hoping to be in bed by 9:30.

But now I'm doing all of the baby's prep for day care tomorrow, and I'm waiting around to do his late night diaper/dreamfeed. Which means I won't be in bed for a while yet. Which means after the 2am and 4am wake-ups, I'll be dead on my feet at 6am.

I don't need a lot of sleep to function adequately, but it's hard to handle work and kids when I have to do all of the overnights AND stay awake for the late-night feed. That extra hour or so of sleep makes a real difference when I can sleep uninterrupted from 9:30pm until about 2-2:30am.

Damn.
judecorp: (cooler than you)
(I feel dirty using a PC.)

So we all survived my first week of work. I can't really call it a "week of work" when I only worked three days, but whatever. I'm looking forward to hanging out with my little man tomorrow and smelling his cute widdle head. He really is the cutest thing ever, of course. Punk calls him "Tukey," and I'm not really sure what that means except that it is an adjective: "that tukey, tukey baby." She also calls him "tuke tuke." She is very protective of him and takes her job as a big sister very seriously. If I call him "my baby," she lets me know that he is HER baby.

He is a pretty laid back guy and it is such a different experience than with Punk, through and through. He hardly ever cries or screams. He has reflux but is mostly fine with it - he spits up a lot but it doesn't really bother him now that he's on meds. He puts himself to sleep and is only up a few times in the night. But with Punk I was able to be home for nearly 10 months before returning to work. Tuke has had his first week of day care at three months old. Poor guy.

Jen has to do the drop offs and she hates handing him over, and I can't say I blame her. They take care of him fine but it's not mama. And Jen goes to work super early so he's actually there a lot longer than I would like, but it wasn't feasible for me to drop him off and then take Punk to school in a different town. Too much hassle.

But I am just so totally in love with that little guy and can't wait to smoosh all over him tomorrow!
judecorp: (work poison)
I went back to work today.

I was not even remotely on task.
judecorp: (boy penises)
I haven't posted here in a million years. Don't worry, no baby yet.

Things are chugging along. Yesterday was my last day of work until March 1st. I bet that will come around quickly. I am trying not to think about it. Or about not getting paid until March. (Whoops.) It will be a lean Christmas around here, which is probably for the best since I don't like all of the commercialism anyway.

Things are moving smoothly through this pregnancy. 38w now, haven't had a speck of a complication, knock on wood. BP is fantastic, weight is up to a scary number but in reality is only 20lbs up. I've just never been this heavy before. Looking for a milk donor, hoarding formula checks and samples. There is a crib in our house again. That's weird. Kid has been riding the 55th percentile forever, so I'm guessing he's set to be Joe Average Baby. It still seems big to me though because Punk was always teeny, in the 20s as a fetus and newborn. She had cord and placenta stuff though. Who knows?

Punk is a very big girl who is excited to be a big sister and is more excited to go to preschool. She loves school, loves the kids at school, and has made some friends. She has picked up some annoying 3 year old habits and I'm sure it's extra hard for her these days because my mobility is non-existent and my patience (and energy) is thin. This too shall pass.

We have bits and pieces of baby stuff in the house now - a swing is set up in the living room, the crib is in the baby/guest room, and we are collecting stuff. We'll set up the PnP in the bedroom soon, I'd imagine, and then we'll be done for a while. We should probably get some newborn/size 1 diapers because the pockets will be too big and bulky. Last time we borrowed a lot of infant prefolds which were a godsend, but we lost our hookup. :) Gotta wash bottles and get those ready also. There's gonna be a baby up in here!

Happy Halloween, everyone. Punk and Jen are trick-or-treating at the library right now and then we will run a bajillion errands. Can't wait to see all the kiddies in their costumes tomorrow. :) Have a great one!
judecorp: (getting harder)
(I hanker for a hunk-a cheese.)

I feel like I'm drowning. Seriously, seriously drowning. About a lot of things, but mostly somehow related to biting off more than I could chew WRT having another kid.

Work is draining every drop of energy I manage to wake up with, my productivity sucks which means my pre-baby paychecks suck. I'm financially screwed, my relationship is screwed, I'm physically unable to keep my house up to snuff, and my to-do list for this kid is eight miles long and if I'm being completely honest, is NEVER going to be finished before this kid arrives. Still need to find time to get to Quincy to get our infant car seat, still need to find time to get to Milford to borrow some stuff, haven't seen Grandma in a long while which I feel badly about, still need to assemble Punk's new furniture. Ugh.

I would try writing out my to-do list in order to focus, but I fear that would be a) depressing and b) way too long to be helpful.

So instead I will sit here and pout.

Waste

Sep. 13th, 2010 12:31 pm
judecorp: (g'nap!)
I feel like all of my best laid plans are a total waste these days. I suppose it is enhanced by today's work experience.

I put our queen-size guest bed up on freecycle last week in an effort to get it out of our house. It was [livejournal.com profile] thatpatti's bed way back (thanks, Patti!) and it has served us well... we just need to ditch the guest room. So anyway, I had a taker that swore they were coming to pick up the bed yesterday at 1:00. And of course, they didn't come. At all. All day. Didn't call, e-mail, anything. Nada. So I sat around for nothing. And the bed's not gone. And I can't do the big furniture move until it's gone. Bleh.

Today was my first day of the "doing intakes in the office" thing at work. I had four offered intake times and all four were filled. Score! First my 9:00 cancelled, then my 10:00. At 11:10, I called my 11:00 and she had forgotten and was at the grocery store. Then my 1:00 cancelled. Are you effing kidding me? I left work around 11:20 and drove home to eat lunch. Today's paycheck - $0. Today's potential paycheck - $175. OUCH.

It just feels like I'm sitting here spinning my wheels in the mud. I have this intense urge to nest and plan, but can't get rid of the bed, can't move the guest room furniture to the basement (we need someone to help and I don't have anyone), so can't move the baby furniture out of Punk's room, so can't assemble Punk's furniture, can't get the baby clothes out of boxes and put them in drawers, can't steam clean the rug, etc. etc. Get up and get ready to go to work, prepare for work, pack lunch for work, and then... do no work. It's such a waste.

I am so freaking frustrated. And broke.
judecorp: (knocked up)
I managed to earn myself another week off from work, thanks to a very scary situation that may or may not be resolved. This is kind of a bummer coming off the heels of school vacation week, because I only get paid for what I bill, which means if I don't go to work, I don't get squat. I only saw 4 kids on Monday due to wonky scheduling and had the bulk of my clients yesterday, today, and tomorrow, when I will be here, on the couch.

I am not very good at sitting on the couch, though. I already am itching to do the dishes and clean up some stuff, and I want to go outside! Also, I would really like to be at work making money.

Hopefully I will be cleared to go to work next week. Cross your fingers!

Miscellany

Apr. 8th, 2010 05:34 pm
judecorp: (my sunshine)
We have had some amazing weather lately. Really amazing. Yesterday it was 90°! Oh my goodness, it was glorious. Tomorrow is supposed to be cooler and rainy, of course, because I am not working.

On the plus side, I'm not working next Tuesday either because day care is closed. And then I'm off the following week for April Vacation. Woot woot!

I made some complaints about our Merry Maids cleaning the other weekend. Basically, they rushed like woah and because they left in 2 hours instead of the 4 I was told, that really raised the per-hour rate to an obscene amount... and they skipped a bunch of stuff. I wasn't going to complain, really, but I filled out their online survey to say I would not recommend to others, and of course they followed up. I don't know if it was the part where they didn't clean my tub, or nearly lost my wedding ring because she "flicked it away and was so busy I didn't really care where I flicked it," or perhaps the part where one of them in my kitchen kept saying it was filthy (which umm, if you know me you know it is not), probably because of the cat fur. I felt super awkward making the complaints but now the branch manager is giving me a replacement cleaning. On Tuesday, actually - so right in time for my mother and her husband to visit. SCORE.

Hopefully the weather is bad because I don't want to be trapped in the house all day Tuesday. Although I guess we can play in the yard while they are in the house. And the gas company is already coming on Tuesday to replace the gas meter.

Boy, that last paragraph makes my life look REALLY exciting, doesn't it?

Also, first prenatal appointment is on the 21st and my first trimester screening (which I didn't do with Punk) is on the 22nd. Fingers crossed. I always get so nervous.
judecorp: (my sunshine)
Life as I know it right now is pretty effing awesome, except for the part where we're broke because I'm still building a caseload. It is coming along and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's just a long tunnel and my last (biweekly) paycheck was $271. OOF.

But the job switch has really been an amazing thing for our family and I don't want to speak for Jen but I think we're both really pleased with the situation. Punk is a lot happier and enjoys having more parent time, as I usually get to pick her up somewhere between 3:00 and 4:00. It's still daylight and we sometimes get to have a quick adventure after, like to the library or even outside to blow some bubbles. Today we had a little "snack picnic" on the front steps eating her apple slices and drinking juice.

We've all been eating more homecooked meals and that is improving. We still go out to eat way too much (especially with the aforementioned tiny check) but much less than we did when I was working late. Punk is eating less quick meals for dinner and we eat more dinners as a family. Because we've been cooking more, I've been buying more fresh vegetables (instead of frozen/canned) which makes me happy also. We've also been tossing less food because I try to find different ways to use it up.

The house is more under control and things like laundry and dishes get done on a regular basis. I lack motivation to wash the pots and pans sometimes but the sink is rarely full of dishes. The table is clean. Garbage goes out. I can run a load of laundry at night without feeling like a total zombie because I've been working a billion hours. I try to do most of the chores now since Jen is working 8 hours of overtime a week and I know she is tired.

One day a couple of weeks ago, I had gone out in the evening after putting Punk to bed for a quick run to the grocery store. I was thinking on what I had done after work and it involved several hours of playing with a toddler, a couple of loads of laundry, some dishes, a homecooked meal, bath and bed for the toddler, and a few other things... and I looked at the clock on the way out the door and realized that in my "old life," I would have just been getting home about 15 minutes before. It was staggering.

Things are good. Just really good. Of course, the spring-like weather and the imminent arrival of "spring ahead time" is just icing on the cake.

Sick day

Jan. 13th, 2010 09:21 am
judecorp: (soap poisoning)
Jen convinced me to take a sick day today. I never take sick days. She's right, of course - I really can't keep working 12 hour days on 3 hours of sleep or less. I had "getting sick insomnia" last night and couldn't get comfortable until I took a bunch of advil around 3am. I feel somewhat better this morning and feel guilty about not going to work, but I'm sure Jen is right and I need the rest.

Still, this week I am supposed to be telling my clients that I'm leaving... and I feel weird taking a day off from that.

Time to watch some trash tv and chill.
judecorp: (g'nap!)
I had 7 appointments scheduled today and only one showed up.

Seriously, I was ready to walk out.
judecorp: (work poison)
The Good: This week, I am on track to make productivity at work.

The Bad: I have only eaten lunch one day this week because I don't have time.

The Ugly: Today I didn't get to stop to pee until 6pm.
judecorp: (my sunshine)
This has been a lovely couple of days. Simply lovely.

For starters, the weather has been /amazing/, very unseasonably warm (summer weather), and spring has sprung here in the Happy Valley. (It's funny, I was looking at posts from a year ago this week and it was the same thing, so I'm guessing I should expect late April springs out here.) The arborvitae is alight with yellow blooms, the violets and dandelions are taking over, daffodils and tulips are up everywhere, and the flowering trees are fragrant and beautiful. I love it. Except for the part where my yard is a disaster. But we are going to use the tax return on some of that action.

My mother has been in town since Thursday late afternoon and we had a nice visit. She enjoyed hanging out with Punk (of course) and Punk is always looking for an extra doting adult, so it was win-win. My mom hadn't seen Punk in nearly a year, so it was a big change and Punk is really engaging and fun these days - good times. My mom walked her around the neighborhood in her wagon, did endless amounts of puzzles and oversaw lots of coloring. (Punk likes to have an audience when coloring.) We went out to a lot of meals in restaurants and spent a lot of time outside, going to parks and hanging out in the back yard. And of course we took Punk to the carousel, as you saw. Mom left after lunch today and I know Punk is missing her. I'm sure it's mutual.

This afternoon, we headed out to Holyoke to have a play date with Julie and Moey at the home of some of Julie's friends. It was a good time and they had a great set up for littles - a gorgeous deck and cute little landscaped yard, kiddie pool, sprinkler, sidewalk chalk, the works. Since it was in the 80s today, Punk got to have some April pool action, which typically doesn't happen unless we are visiting Jen's parents in Florida. I can't believe my kid was in a kiddie pool in April! Wild! Anyway, she had a grand old time filling up a little watering can and pouring it on herself ad nauseum and she was terrified of the sprinkler. Whoops. It was nice to meet Julie's friend (a two-mom family with a 4 year old) and it was doubly nice to enjoy the weather.

Tomorrow I begin the first of two days of orientation at my new job. The hospital has a two day orientation where they provide breakfast and lunch. SCORE! Then I am off on Wednesday and will go to work on Thursday and Friday. I'm not sure what my actual schedule will be, but I do know it will be so weird to be working! I have been sitting at home for so long, hanging out in my pajamas, and doing random busy projects around the house. This is definitely a shift in the old gears!
judecorp: (work poison)
I have a major dilemma and also feel like a supreme a-hole.

Late last week, I accepted a job at another EI agency. We hadn't finalized salary but I had accepted the range of salary and figured we would iron it out. The director called me late Friday evening (6pm) to talk salary, but I missed the call. She told me I could call her on the weekend, and I called on Saturday. I never got a call back. I e-mailed yesterday, but didn't get an e-mail back. So I figured we would just talk today when I went to fill in my new hire paperwork.

This morning I was driving along to the new place with everything I needed for my new hire paperwork (SS card, SW license, stuff like that) and I got a phone call. It was from the local Children's Hospital about the job I had been REALLY jazzed about but left the interview thinking I didn't have a chance in heck. I interviewed there several weeks ago and never heard anything, which is why I went forward with the other place. So today the recruiter called me and offered me that job! WHILE I WAS DRIVING TO FILL OUT MY NEW HIRE PAPERWORK.

I told the recruiter that I would need a few hours to get back to him. Then I went to my new hire appointment and told her the situation and that I would need a day or two to decide. She was obviously upset and clearly has clients all ready for me to take and I can't even imagine her situation. She bumped up her offer but couldn't match the hospital salary.

Now I need to decide what to do. The hospital job is also contingent on a background check and a check of my previous employers, including my most recent boss who could choose to ruin me. I am nervous.

Job #1:
+very flexible and casual
+in EI, so I am already very comfortable
+really nice people, very positive work environment
+I already know some of the staff
+good benefits
+I already accepted with them
+raised the salary to try to keep me
-Long commute (45 minutes)
-Involves driving from house to house
-Need to finish certification even though current boss won't give me my work samples

Job #2:
+good career move
+clinical work with child victims of abuse and other traumas
+closer commute (25 or so minutes)
+office-based, not community-based
+good benefits plus gym for staff
+$3k/more per year for 36 hours/week rather than 40
+no need to finish EI certification
-would involve some evening hours
-would need to shift gears totally and get a lot of training
-would make me feel like an a-hole to job #1

Sigh. Decisions.

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