okay, so i am NOT suggesting that gus needs to go to childcare in order to get "better" care. not.at.all. but i wanted to address your concern about the potential of gus going to daycare and being high needs. we had very similar concerns--and i know quinn wasn't as high needs as gus, but the first 12 months were a doozy. it was hard to get her to sleep, definitely required lotsa EMB/formula [and, uh, she still gets a bottle at nap time when she's at home. shoot me. we know we've got to stop, but when you have a good thing going, it's hard to give that up.] and a quite involved rocking/patting/swaying routine.

her first daycare was home-based, and well, that didn't work out b/c of sleep issues. but it was more related to the caregiver having 2 other toddlers. once we got her in a daycare center, it got better. we were afraid of getting kicked out or at least worried they'd hate us for being "those parents," but quinn adapted. she never took long naps, which sucked (like most days, she'd sleep for 30 minutes. for the whole day.). but the lack of sleep didn't make her grouchy--something we never understood. we think there was just so much more going on there than at home--all of the kids. the various kinds of toys. the gym mat thingy.

so try not to stress over this. looking back, i wasted a lot of energy doing just that. i know this is easier said than done, and i hope this isn't too assvice-y. mainly i wanted to say that we've been there, and it turned out okay. *hugs*