I need Mary Poppins

[judecorp]

hopemcg and meglett and Quinn are coming to stay with us on Friday. OMGSQUEEEE, I am so excited I could pee my pants. Yay!

But there's nothing like impending houseguests to really point out how dirty your house is, you know? Oh, I don't mean we live in filth or that our floor is lined with dirty dishes or anything gross like that, but certain things tend to get left out because they're tough to do with a baby. Things like vacuuming.

Today I put the Punk in the Moby and proceeded to vacuum the entire house. And I do mean the entire house. And oh my god it needed it. But trying to vacuum a whole house with an 18lb kid attached to you, trying to get away? Hard. Much harder than it was when she was about 1 month old, which I think was the last time I did it. But yay, done.

I also finally pulled the couch cover off so it could be washed. It was lovingly stained with months of spit up. Now that she doesn't spit up so much, it's time.

That might not seem like a lot of work but you don't really understand what a day with Punk looks like. Unless she is asleep, I cannot be doing anything else but interacting with her and holding her and touching her and going from activity to activity so she does not yell and cry. If I want to eat, she needs to sit on my lap. If I have to go to the bathroom, I take the Bumbo seat with me. If I need to do something where I can't carry her (like put laundry away) I can put her in the exersaucer IF I can get it done in 6 minutes, which is her limit. And I can hardly vacuum while she is sleeping.

Speaking of sleeping, I tried to get her to nap without the swaddle again today. After an hour, and her becoming totally hysterical, I broke out the swaddle. She is still sleeping. But I may never recover. I don't even know what to do anymore.

But when you DO manage to vacuum with an 18 lb kid on you, AND you get the couch covers washed and dried, AND you managed to entertain a baby all day, AND you spend an hour making a baby hysterical because she just can not sleep unless she is totally immobilized (no matter how much she hates it), the last thing you want to hear from your wife is, "So did you get anything else done?"

Yeah. I got to eat lunch. At 2pm. And I e-mailed the information to the accountant. And got the mail. But I still haven't had a drink today. Aah well - it cuts down on the bathroom trips for sure.

I have fantasies sometimes of having that baby you can put down on the floor for a few minutes while you eat or check e-mail. Like real fantasies. I also have nightmares of what will happen when my child, who needs constant one-on-one attention and copious amounts of parenting to sleep, needs to go to child care. Sometimes I don't know how much longer I can do this... or if maybe she whines and cries so much because someone else would be a lot better at taking care of her. Heaven knows I'm not able to take care of the house at all, and maybe a better mama would be able to keep my kid from crying all day.

I need Mary Poppins.

Comments

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

You don't need Mary Poppins and neither does Punk. She needs you, her mama, who understands her better than anyone else because you ARE there every moment. I have a ton of respect for you and for how hard you've worked to make her happy. Don't discount how much of a full time job that is. And I know that despite an occasional thoughtless comment like "what else did you do?", your wonderful wife also knows that your time with Punk is a full time job.

BTW, really weird case of syncronicity; I read two posts (yours being the second) both of which mentioned visits by hopemcg and meglett. The really weird and neat part of this is that I know that you and the other poster do NOT know each other. The other poster is mamajoan, whom I've known since college. And weirdly enough, meglett and hopemcg and also listed as friends of oppendonnell whom I have known since high school.

[meglett.livejournal.com]

on the synchronicity: WEIRD!! hope and i know joan via various online trying-to-conceive/parenting sites, but this will be the first time meeting her and the kids. and we've met The Family O, but in a big group setting and we didn't get to talk much. we've gotten to know them better online....

it seems like i should friend you, okay? :)

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Friend away. I suspect that in closing the gap we might find other little overlaps somewhere in there.

BTW, you'll find that I talk about a lot of eclectic stuff on my LJ; pet rabbits and animal rescue rabbits, glassblowing, DIY home renovation, theater lighting design, role playing games, highly experimental cooking, rock climbing.... I do have a couple filters. The ones highly in use right now are the Knock Knock Filter for pregnancy (due April 1st) and the Construction Zone Filter for house renovations. Feel free to let me know if you want in on either.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't think Jen was being thoughtless at all. I do, however, think she has no idea what it is like to entertain our kid all day. ;) But I think she was just curious as to what I did for the rest of the day. I just never have much to say to those kinds of questions, because the reality sounds like less than it is.

I just wish she was a happy kid. I know that babies aren't happy all the time, but it is so difficult to make her happy. I alternate between feeling bad for her and wondering if there's something wrong that I don't know about. And I compound the issue by doing things like going to playgroups or trying to hang with other mamas, because I have never (and I have met a lot of babies) met a baby like mine. Ever. In all my life. So to go to playgroups is especially depressing and makes me self-conscious. Blarg.

I guess I just think that someone different might have the magic that will make her smile. She will be whining at me all day and then Jen will walk through the door and she just starts smiling. I want some smiles, too!

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

See, this sort of thing gives me even more respect for how hard you work at being a parent. I recognize that you do not have an easy or ordinary child. That makes the work you put in all the more precious. And I still don't think that someone else could do better.

As for those smiles, just wait; when she's a teenager Punk will probably think you are wonderful and butt heads all the time with Jen!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding? I am convinced that when she is a teenager, she will rebel by being totally conservative!! ;)

I think she has, umm, strong opinions. God help us all when she starts talking.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, and the TTC/Parenting blogging world is a lot smaller than you think. :)