OK. I know, know, know that this is probably assvice. But apparently I'm going to say it anyway. . .
Lillian has similarly always been just a crap sleeper. Terrible. When she was 13 months old, I ended up in the emergency room having a psych evaluation, because I had become willing to hurt myself if necessary to get a bed in a room with no baby in it. They diagnosed me with military-grade sleep deprivation, and told me that I basically had to let Lillian CIO, or else hire a night nanny, or else check myself into a mental institution to catch up on my sleep.
We let her CIO. It was fucking awful. Everyone says "Oh, no, it's only a few days," bullshit. When you have a kid as stubborn as mine and, I suspect, as yours, it goes on for weeks. The first week it was three hours in the middle of every night; my husband slept on the guest bed in her room and dealt with it while I slept in our room with earplugs we'd picked up at a shooting range in. It tapered to about 45 minutes within another two weeks, but that continued for three weeks or so after that. Had I not been distinctly aware that she was not despondent but rather was furious, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
She's still a terrible sleeper. She still wakes up once or twice a week. But most nights, she goes down at eight or nine and sleeps until six or seven. It's not good, but it's good enough to let me hold onto my sanity, and more importantly, SHE'S clearly happier during the day. I mean a lot happier.
I wish with every cell in my body that it hadn't been necessary? but it really, really, really was. She simply wouldn't accept that she was exhausted until she was left alone to figure it out. I've noticed this in other things, too -- she values the direct experience above all others, and attempting to shield it from her results in horrible frustration. This was not the parenting experience I thought I was going to have, but apparently it is the one that I get, and I have to say, the kid who comes along with it is worth it a million times over.
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Lillian has similarly always been just a crap sleeper. Terrible. When she was 13 months old, I ended up in the emergency room having a psych evaluation, because I had become willing to hurt myself if necessary to get a bed in a room with no baby in it. They diagnosed me with military-grade sleep deprivation, and told me that I basically had to let Lillian CIO, or else hire a night nanny, or else check myself into a mental institution to catch up on my sleep.
We let her CIO. It was fucking awful. Everyone says "Oh, no, it's only a few days," bullshit. When you have a kid as stubborn as mine and, I suspect, as yours, it goes on for weeks. The first week it was three hours in the middle of every night; my husband slept on the guest bed in her room and dealt with it while I slept in our room with earplugs we'd picked up at a shooting range in. It tapered to about 45 minutes within another two weeks, but that continued for three weeks or so after that. Had I not been distinctly aware that she was not despondent but rather was furious, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
She's still a terrible sleeper. She still wakes up once or twice a week. But most nights, she goes down at eight or nine and sleeps until six or seven. It's not good, but it's good enough to let me hold onto my sanity, and more importantly, SHE'S clearly happier during the day. I mean a lot happier.
I wish with every cell in my body that it hadn't been necessary? but it really, really, really was. She simply wouldn't accept that she was exhausted until she was left alone to figure it out. I've noticed this in other things, too -- she values the direct experience above all others, and attempting to shield it from her results in horrible frustration. This was not the parenting experience I thought I was going to have, but apparently it is the one that I get, and I have to say, the kid who comes along with it is worth it a million times over.