judecorp | Dec. 13th, 2002

I am so tired. It's the weather. Well, the weather and the fact that I haven't been going to sleep very early, I suppose. But it's the grey, dreary, cold weather that makes even daylight seem dark that completely does me in. Somehow, though, I've managed (so far) to stave off the winter blahs. I know that /this/ December is SO RELAXED and SO GOOD compared to last December.

Last December, my father had a heart attack. This event followed the following 2001 events: my apartment catching on fire, being evacuated due to a neighbor having bomb-making materials, having to move, the breakup of my 6 year relationship, the death of my father-in-law, the terrorist attack occuring in the middle of my "relaxing" trip to New York City, my winding up in the hospital, and my grandfather becoming ill. By December, I was entirely fried, and then on the 17th, my father had his heart attack - the day before his 54th birthday. He then had a triple bypass. 2001 sux0red.

Everything seems so calm and commonplace these days, and perhaps I'm also tired due to not needing to be perpetually on edge. It's lovely. My job is stable, and only 40 hours a week. No more school full time, internship part time, assistantship part time, volunteering part time - just a job. I usually get almost 8 hours of sleep. I eat regularly. I have medical insurance. I have spending money. I can holiday shop without frantically worrying if I can pay. This is an incredible holiday season for me.

Yes, I got a little wonky about how Christmas seemed to sneak up on me (I think because Thanksgiving was so late), but I'm not having mini-conniptions every day. Phew. But the cards are done, gifts have been ordered for the immediate family members, and I'm going shopping tonight with J.Le for gifts for assorted people here in town and my

kieron. Yay.

Also interesting in retrospect, right after my dad's heart attack is when Jennifer really stepped up to bat for me and helped me out in ways I can never repay. She let me call her in the middle of the night. She let me call her in the middle of the day at work. I was crazy and frantic and stressed and frustrated and confused and she was always there for me. Late one night on the phone, oh right around this time, she said, "If I were in the position to do so, and you would let me, I would fight for you."

A year ago. Wow. That deserves the fuck-word. A /fucking/ year ago.

In other news of randomness, Coworker

vorpalbla beamed Bedazzled onto my Palm. Oh glorious slacky slack slack! (But I can't con him into wearing one of my dresses to the Lutheran Social Services holiday party!)

In still other news of randomness, tomorrow evening, Jen and I will go from her work party to my work party. I've never accompanied an SO to a work party of theirs. I've never brought an SO to a work party of mine. /Interesting./