Ms. Grass Is Greener

[judecorp]

I received a Christmas card from my old boss at UMaine (this is actually the first year I didn't send him one, and I felt so bad when I received his card) and decided I would write him a little note to thank him for the card and let him know I moved. I really love and adore my old boss, Bill. Truly, he was one of the best things that came out of my stint in Maine. We had such a great relationship and clicked instantly the moment I came in to interview. He grew up in Rhode Island too, and we shared lots of good times and stories. He also had one of the most over the top and ridiculous senses of humor I've ever encountered. I love it!

(For example, he loved to give stupid answers to things in public places. One time we were all at some sort of training or conference and there was this ice breaker exercise where the facilitator said to take out your wallet and pull out the thing that had the most meaning to you. Then everyone had to take turns sharing with the group. He stood up and told everyone with a very straight face that he had chosen his Sam's Club membership card, because in these solitary, isolated times he always feels so special and secure to belong to an elite group like Sam's Club. He was just one of those people that liked to have the people around them think, "Is he serious? Is he insane?" Love it.)

That got me to thinking how extremely cushy that UMaine job was, aside from the terrible pay. (I think I was making $20K with a Master's degree, which was enough for central Maine but so, so low.) After all, Bill tended to encourage lots of time off, closing the Institute for at least a week between Christmas and New Year's (paid! without taking vacation!), and was always pushing me to go home early if things were done. Not to mention all of the free time I had doing my own research (I'm so psyched to see they still have GLBT youth in Maine schools, my personal research area, in their list of projects!), minding my own business, and tooling around the internet.

It got me to thinking how much I miss having a job where you just go to your job, do your job, and then go home. I really miss working in an office somewhere and having stuff come to me. It is so frustrating to travel around and do home visits for work because you're at the mercy of the weather, the traffic, and all of those other factors, and you waste so much of your day just driving around. Sure it's nice to have a little flextime but I'm not sure it's much of a trade-off.

In my little note to Bill, I mentioned that Jennifer and I have moved back to Boston but we're not likely to stay forever since we want to buy a house and it's just not happening here. Ever. I teased that he should just let me know when there's an opening for me at the Institute and I will be right there. And then I started thinking, "What if he actually made a professional position for me? Would I seriously consider moving back to Maine?" So then I went to realtor.com (my little fantasy world) and saw all of the extremely cute houses one can buy in the UMaine area for affordable prices. And then I started thinking, "Why am I even looking at this stuff when I was so miserable there?"

Sometimes I'm a total nutcase. Seriously. I don't know what's up with me. You can just call me Ms. Grass Is Greener. Who desperately needs a freaking haircut.

Comments

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Aside from the snow (and the accompanying dark and cold), Bangor was also pretty damned far from a lot of stuff. (You know, you made the drive.)

Although it's tempting to think of a good academic job that would give me cheap tuition, and give Jen cheap tuition, in a pretty stress-free work environment. It almost makes me forget the weather.

Then again, I look out my window and see the huge snowpiles and I hate that, too - so what's the difference, right? :)

And I agree, a lot of the unhappiness was the poor fit... and some of the unhappiness was just settling in and me not really making a lot of headway in the 'community building' department. (Which was certainly hindered by a certain anti-social spouse!)

So yeah... it's an interesting pondering. If he happened to write back and offer me something substantial, it'd be pretty tough to say no right now. Getting paid to research queer youth is almost as fun as a Big Gay Job.

[siercia]

Bangor was a haul, but you can get some measure of culture from Portland, which is not nearly so far. The lack or marriage rights would be another thing to ponder, as would the question of what would happen to baby making plans if you moved somewhere that you had the meaningful and lucrative employment, and Jen might not be so lucky.

But it's always fun to ponder, isn't it?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Pondering is terribly fun. If only life was as exciting as all of my ponderings!

The whole babymaking process is far from set in stone. I know that at some point in her life, Jen wants to have a biological child but it's far from our only option. We're also planning to try to adopt at some point, and could do that first if situations required. As for the lack of marriage rights, unfortunately we're going to have to cover our asses legally anywhere we go, because while Massachusetts is marriage-friendly, it's smack in the middle of our Federal Government which is definitely not.

If it should ever come to anything, UMaine offers full domestic partner recognition and benefits, so at least things would be covered on the work end of things.