I guess in some ways I was fortunate in that my dad died completely unexpectedly. My grandfather found him in his apartment in a coma and he died the next day. I think it would be really hard to play the waiting game. I know that when my ex-husband's father was terminally ill, it was so agonizing to always wonder when you would get that "come right now" call and even when we DID get it, we stayed for a week and he didn't actually die until two days after we left. Then my ex had to go back.

I totally feel for you and wish you all of the support and peace in the world. I am so sorry about your mom's illness and hope that the love you two share will be enough to sustain you through the rocky times.