Yes, I can see what you're saying about the sincerity aspect... and sometimes people /are/ genuinely sorry that someone is, say, feeling upset. But I still believe that if I had /any/ hand in the person's upset feelings, my apology means more if it's about my part than their feelings. Now if someone's just upset and it doesn't have anything to do with me, that's a different story entirely.
And I can totally see the "disagreeing appropriately" thing as an alternative to some people's current problem-solving skill set. You're talking about people in a residential setting and I'm talking about someone whose supposed spiritual and vocational calling is to lead an enormous religious community and act as a spiritual guide to TONS of people. So I guess what I'm saying is that I hold him to higher standards, especially when there are throes of people who are using his actions/words as a guidepost for their own.
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Yes, I can see what you're saying about the sincerity aspect... and sometimes people /are/ genuinely sorry that someone is, say, feeling upset. But I still believe that if I had /any/ hand in the person's upset feelings, my apology means more if it's about my part than their feelings. Now if someone's just upset and it doesn't have anything to do with me, that's a different story entirely.
And I can totally see the "disagreeing appropriately" thing as an alternative to some people's current problem-solving skill set. You're talking about people in a residential setting and I'm talking about someone whose supposed spiritual and vocational calling is to lead an enormous religious community and act as a spiritual guide to TONS of people. So I guess what I'm saying is that I hold him to higher standards, especially when there are throes of people who are using his actions/words as a guidepost for their own.