Three years

[judecorp]

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my father's death. I can't believe it's been three years already. So much has changed in those three years, it's amazing.

It's so surreal to think that three years ago, my brother and I were looking through a catalog of coffins to find one to bury my father in. A catalog. More like a binder, really. The funeral home director is a family friend and she was extra nice about everything, but it was still the most bizarre and surreal experience ever, trying to find a casket that would suit my father's taste and personality, even though he was dead.

Sometimes I still get the urge to call him. He hasn't been listed in my cell phone for a really long time, but the idea just comes to me out of nowhere sometimes, which makes sense because I tended to call him at random about this or that.

I still can't believe he will never ever ever get to spend time with my daughter.

Comments

[quezz.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you are a person who believes in an afterlife, but I do and feel he is spending time with your daughter in one way or another. Even without a sense of the afterlife...I find it comforting to know that my loved ones live in my genes, my heritage, and my way of being. Punk will get that too, and in that way, your father will always live.

Believe me, you have my sympathy, and if you want it, my faith. Loved ones I've lost live strong in me, and it gives me comfort the vast majority of the time. Better yet, all the bad things tend to go away over time, leaving a gentle and comforting residue. Sadness can also be a form of strength.

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I agree with this, even if there isn't an afterlife. He reverberates through you and your love, even though it's not the same thing, and I wish for you it could be face to face. /hug Jude.