Three years

[judecorp]

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my father's death. I can't believe it's been three years already. So much has changed in those three years, it's amazing.

It's so surreal to think that three years ago, my brother and I were looking through a catalog of coffins to find one to bury my father in. A catalog. More like a binder, really. The funeral home director is a family friend and she was extra nice about everything, but it was still the most bizarre and surreal experience ever, trying to find a casket that would suit my father's taste and personality, even though he was dead.

Sometimes I still get the urge to call him. He hasn't been listed in my cell phone for a really long time, but the idea just comes to me out of nowhere sometimes, which makes sense because I tended to call him at random about this or that.

I still can't believe he will never ever ever get to spend time with my daughter.

Comments

[amyura.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry hon.

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

I know there is not a lot that can be said that will make you feel any better . Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. *hugs*

[oppendonnell.livejournal.com]

So sorry. Thinking of you.

[quezz.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you are a person who believes in an afterlife, but I do and feel he is spending time with your daughter in one way or another. Even without a sense of the afterlife...I find it comforting to know that my loved ones live in my genes, my heritage, and my way of being. Punk will get that too, and in that way, your father will always live.

Believe me, you have my sympathy, and if you want it, my faith. Loved ones I've lost live strong in me, and it gives me comfort the vast majority of the time. Better yet, all the bad things tend to go away over time, leaving a gentle and comforting residue. Sadness can also be a form of strength.

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I agree with this, even if there isn't an afterlife. He reverberates through you and your love, even though it's not the same thing, and I wish for you it could be face to face. /hug Jude.

[kaleidoscopeeye.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how hard that is. *hugs*

[photodork.livejournal.com]

hugs jude

[realsupergirl.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

kaphine's father died over a year ago, and we still haven't taken him out of our phone or our cell phone. My grandparents died in 2001 and 2006, and I still have them in my address book. I can't bear to remove them.

[whod81.livejournal.com]

yes, its my brother's bday today and a lot of the last few months have been sort of surreal also. i honestly don't know how people deal with losing family members.

[oneirocritical.livejournal.com]

This is just so heartbreaking.

[siercia]

I'm sorry sweetie. I can't even imagine how that loss must feel.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

I like to think that a part of him is in August - the part that is your love and connection. And as she grows up you will see him in her. And he will always be a part of her life because we will make sure she knows him and who he was.

And your love for him will what she knows.

I am so sorry.......I wish there was a way to make this sort of thing easier - but I know there isn't.

[colleenod.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I hear you.

[violane.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry your dad won't be able to meet his granddaughter. I think everyone should get their chance to be a grandparent. I remember going through the surreal funeral stuff with Michael's dad, who died in 2004 and didn't get to meet Ben. It sucks and I wish something made it easier.

[dolomite2531.livejournal.com]

I'm right there with you..it hasn't even been a year since my dad passed (he died suddenly a week before Cooper was born) and I just can't take him out of my cell phone. It's so hard and I'm right there with you my friend. Hang in there...big hugs

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

I miss your dad, too, though I'm sure not nearly as much as you do. He could be pretty funny. I like to think he's hanging out with Baby B.. looking under bushes, making train sets, and fashioning tinfoil hats. It makes me smile to picture it.

HUGHUG! Love you.

[ntiva.livejournal.com]

I can't believe it's been that long, either. I'm sorry you're sad right now. :(

*hugs*

[yerbrainondrugs.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking of you. Please take care of yourself Jude.

[deah.livejournal.com]

My dad passed away 9 years ago last month. He never met my wife, and will never meet his grandkids. It's hard - as the years go by, it gets a little easier. I enjoy watching T and seeing how much like him she is - it's like bringing a small peice of him back. I bet Gus will do the same thing
*hug*

[lelumama.livejournal.com]

I still get morose on the date of my father's death, and it's been 15 years.

It never goes away, hon...the pain just dissolves faster.

i hear you.

[(Anonymous)]

i hear you. i don't want to make this all about me, but (here i go) I have been thinking an awful lot about my dead dad too.

time can help, but it doesn't make it all better.

but hey, we can get all morbidly humorous next Friday. :)

Lyssa

(I try to keep up on the blog, but realisticly? not as much as I would like. :)

[starzz.livejournal.com]

hug

[stapynam.livejournal.com]

.

[lunapoppy.livejournal.com]

hugs to you. my mom is still on my cell phone list too. just can't delete. :(