judecorp | Frustrated Incorporated

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Frustrated Incorporated

I feel like I'm so behind in my life. I'm so ready for the next step - for the house and the kids and the happily-ever-after. I feel like I've been ready for years, but right now it all seems so far away.

We could move to Woonsocket and have enough money to make babies, but all of the good lesbian health resources are here. And things are better legally here. And there are more things that we like to do here.

We could stay here, but we'd be too broke to have babies, because we couldn't afford childcare or for one of us to stay home. And we couldn't buy a home. And we don't want to buy a tiny little condo (that we might not also be able to afford).

I feel so lame... like I'm well educated and in the middle of a career that I was pretty much made to do, so I feel like things should start falling into place for me and Jennifer. Where's our piece of the American dream? We both work too damned hard and I just feel like we are /this/ close. We can /see/ what we want but we just. can't. reach. it.

I'm so frustrated with my life.

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I'm so frustrated with my life.

Me, too.

Would you like me to be frustrated with your life, too? Maybe that would help. :)

Oh, yes.

BTW, am going to be in Leominster this wknd. Saturday-Monday early afternoon.

Sunday afternoon/evening, have some friends coming over. You'd be welcome then, or Saturday (knowing I'd be a bit road-lagged). Or, next month!

Hmmm... it might be possible on Sunday night. Jen actually has Sunday AND Monday off (which never happens, she had to beg) so we might be able to pull it off. We called a hiatus on all Dad-House-Cleaning for the 4th weekend, but were also considering taking a long drive to god-knows-where.

I'll keep you posted! :) Thanks for the offer! I miss me some Woo.

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I will certainly keep you updated! :)

WHEE!

did you consider selling the house and using the funds to help pay for something in MA? i mean, it doesn't have to be the same place you're in now, but at least you can stay legal in-state. obviously, RI real estate will cost the same as that in MA, but at least it could give you head start. or, have you considered subletting? my padres rented a house in virginia all of last year, and paid a considerable fee for the year long lease.

just throwing out ideas to help you and jenn out. hopefully they'll get you thinking.

Yeah, we've talked about selling the house and using the money to put a huge downpayment on a house out here, which just might make it affordable. Might. We also talked about using the money to buy a house in Northampton, which would be totally sweet. Except that we don't have jobs there or anything. And that's an extra hour away from my grandparents. I'm really worried about not being around for them if they need me.

I'm so sorry. this sucks big time. But, you are on your way to happily ever after, to the next step...it'll just take some time.

I'm just so impatient when it comes to this stuff. I feel like I've been waiting forever. I've wanted to raise kids since I was about 24!

:) You'll get there

But MOOOOOOOOOM, I want it NOOOOOOOOW!!

Before I had my children, my husband and I moved back to my in-laws house. It was not really what we wanted to do but we had a 5-year plan and we saved enough up for a down payment on a house. We gave up living in a great area and hanging out with good friends a bit to do so. But right now looking back 7 years later it was the smartest thing I ever did.

Is there a way you can moved to RI, save cash, work on having the baby you dreamed of? (Not to be a downer but this task does not always come easy either and can be very $$$$) and then when you have enough saved find a nice home back in MA. Your child will still be an infant/toddler, so you do not have to worry about uprooting from schools and such.

Every once in a while I read your journal because I think you are such a talented writer. I remember a while back you were wondering how you were ever going to buy a home and start a family with the way things were going $$$ for you. I am so sorry your dad passed away but he left you a wonderful gift. A gift to "START" your dreams and in return help him to continue to take care of his parents. I believe things happen for a reason.

Just keep your eye on the big picture and all your goals in life. Try not to be like me and over analyze it too much. It will drive you crazy and screw with your head!

As far as a social life when we moved, it was ZERO but we survived, another plus for you is you will have some extra money to take trips, to visit friends and to have a social life.

Just my 2 cents from a stranger

You definitely have a different perspective on this whole matter, and for that I really appreciate your comments! It's true, and Jennifer and I have talked many times about this already, that moving to RI into my dad's old house would make an excellent stepping stone, because it would allow us to bank some cash, which is always good.

We'd have to find new jobs, though, and that makes me nervous. I've switched jobs so many times and I just want to stick with one so I can accrue some benefits! I'm nervous about the possibility of moving to RI and getting yet ANOTHER job, and then moving again in 5 years and needing to get another job again. And I worry about my smoochie trying to commute up here to her current job, long commute, expensive commute. Yuck.

I know that practicality dictates that we move into Dad's place and make it work. And I know that we can perservere through anything. I'm just really worried about what kind of strain moving into a place we don't like will add to our relationship after all of the other strains we've had.

Bleh. I guess I just have a lot to think about.

When we bought our house three years ago, we didn't even have a down payment. We barely had enough to pay for the closing costs and the balance for the movers because it cost more than the $2500 his new boss gave us.

We got a funky loan called an 80/20 or something. 80% of the house was in the first mortgage, the remaining %20 was in a home equity loan. Which meant that twenty percent of our house was already technically paid for so we didn't have to pay PMI (sucky loan insurance).

Last April we refinanced (AGAIN) to lower our interest rate AND we rolled in the home equity loan so we technically pay less per month and it call goes to the house now, instead of to interest.

There are ways to buy houses if you REALLY REALLY want one.

Well, yes, there are all kinds of funky mortgages out there now but quite frankly, some of them make me nervous. I actually have a bit of a downpayment saved already but the problem is the housing market in this part of the country. In other words, it's totally insane. I can't believe people pay more for condos than we can affordably pay for a house! (Based on our incomes, which are, you know, quite pitiful.)

I know that someday we will have the picket fence of our dreams, and I know I have to be patient. That's just not one of my strengths. It's so frustrating, because in Columbus it's totally normal for people in the low-mid 20s to own houses because you can get a house for $150K!

*jealous*

My mo helped my older brother buy a little two bedroom house in Michigan just to get him out of her hair. They bought it for $40K and sold it three years later for $70K. Scott used the money to put a down payment on a another house, which he sold to put the down payment on a newly built place after he got married.

She also helped my younger brother buy a house, which he rents rooms out to friends to cover the mortgage payment. THIS house she plans to keep even when Brian's done with it.

--

In other news, glad to hear you and your sweetie will have some time together this weekend, but sorry we'll miss you for fireworks and fun and more food than you can shake a stick it.

No one leaves my house hungry!

We haven't decided yet if we're going up to your place. We haven't decided much of anything regarding this weekend, except that we're spending Sunday and Monday together, because she is actually getting a HOLIDAY off (which never happens - she only got Thanksgiving and Christmas off because the mall was closed).

We might still spontaneously show up at your place (so save some of your GALLONS of food for us!), it's just that we've been doing SO. MUCH. DRIVING. to RI and stuff every weekend that we're considering locking ourselves up in the apartment and never coming out. Who knows? :)

We also have to buy new tires this weekend. Yuck.

I feel your pain, especially about the "what the heck is happening despite my best efforts?" part. Hopefully things will go forward. I have hope. Most days...

On a totally different note, I read the title to your post, and now I can't get that song out of my head. "I know just what YOU NEED!"

Ha! I don't even really know that song. So HA HA HA HA!

B, you are going to be mega-successful soon. I just know it!

I know the feeling. About being frustrated with your life.

I know you will make it one day, too. YOU CAN DO IT.

I hope you're right.

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Frustrated Incorporated

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Doh!

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