Yeah, I think it depends on the kid's personality and the situation. There are kids I've known personally and professionally who get into moods where they're overly stressed and tired and they're going to cry, and it seems to be better to just let them have that space and be in the mood they need to be in. There are also kids who need this and that every 5 seconds, and it's clear that they haven't been consistently taught that their needs will be met. I tend to think that it's good for kids to have the experience of at least one person who consistently will meet their needs, but then, when they've gotten to a certain point where they aren't confident that their needs will be met and have become difficult kids, I'm not always sure if I'm teaching them that they're allowed to express needs or if I'm teaching them that they're allowed to demand attention inappropriately.
What I like about using music is that it's ambiguous. If you're humming kind of in a similar mood to the kid, but not outright interacting with the kid, it's like you're joining the kid in their space and giving them attention, but it's really not clear to them (or you) whether you're soothing them, ignoring them, drowning them out, etc. You're kind of really doing all of the above. Providing a holding environment is really effective, because then you aren't abandoning the kid, but you also aren't engaging them. It's a message of "I'm here, your needs are valid, but I'm in charge here and what we're doing right now is winding down." I think that even little kids know that it's such a gift you're providing them with, and they don't tend to fight with someone who's humming or playing guitar or something just for them. It's really kind of a way of active ignoring; you're DOING something, so it's more comfortable for everyone that you're not engaging the whimpers and complaints than if you did completely ignore them.
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What I like about using music is that it's ambiguous. If you're humming kind of in a similar mood to the kid, but not outright interacting with the kid, it's like you're joining the kid in their space and giving them attention, but it's really not clear to them (or you) whether you're soothing them, ignoring them, drowning them out, etc. You're kind of really doing all of the above. Providing a holding environment is really effective, because then you aren't abandoning the kid, but you also aren't engaging them. It's a message of "I'm here, your needs are valid, but I'm in charge here and what we're doing right now is winding down." I think that even little kids know that it's such a gift you're providing them with, and they don't tend to fight with someone who's humming or playing guitar or something just for them. It's really kind of a way of active ignoring; you're DOING something, so it's more comfortable for everyone that you're not engaging the whimpers and complaints than if you did completely ignore them.