I so feel you on so much of this. Now, my softly butch to girlie girl change happened for very different reasons, but I HATE being invisible almost enough to go back. All it takes is a haircut and different clothes. I HATE being treated differently when I am out with E because then the queers recognize me. I rage against butch misogyny. Drives me completely insane. I'm worried that it is just going to get worse as I go through pregnancy and becoming a biomom.