Black Sheep
Dec. 2nd, 2008 05:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpI am at a complete and total loss. I'm sure this is only compounded by getting two hours of sleep last night, but I am just beside myself.
My grandfather, one of the people my sun rises and sets on and the person for whom my daughter is named, called me and reamed me out because I cashed out an account he set up for me as a child "without telling him." Which of course I didn't do, we spoke about this at length back when I was pregnant because I wanted to use the money to help me stay home with Punk and he not only said it was okay but also told me when specifically to withdraw the money so as to avoid penalties. He remembers none of this, but rather than even consider the possibility that he has forgotten, he just insisted over and over again that we never talked about it, and more to the point, that he is devastated that I would not "take him into confidence" about something like this and that he is so offended.
I don't even know what to say or do. I realize that he is especially sensitive about this sort of thing because my cousin actually DID withdraw an account without telling him and spent the money on a bunch of douchbaggery several months ago, but I did not do this. I talked to him about the money in June of last year and I withdrew the money, at his request, in April of this year. (It was rolling over at that time.) Not only that, I brought it up AGAIN after all of the crap went down with my cousin because I was shocked and appalled that my cousin would do such a thing.
There is absolutely nothing I can do to convince him that we agreed on this. I even tried telling him that he /told me/ to wait until April to take the money. (I don't get any documents about the money, they go to his house.) That he said it was a good idea. That he said it was mine to use. Et cetera. He just insists and insists that he had no idea about it and that he is so hurt that I would do this behind his back. And I am upset that he is so upset, of course, and I am frustrated that he forgot, but mostly I am just so hurt that he thinks I am a douchebag. That he thinks that I would do something like this, that it is completely impossible that perhaps he forgot and instead it's completely possible that I would take money from him and cover it up.
By the end of the conversation, since he was clearly looking for an apology, I apologized for the only thing I could apologize for in good conscience - that I was sorry I didn't remind him of our agreement when I took out the money (like, gave him a heads up reminder that day). I absolutely will not entertain the possibility that we didn't talk about it and I am mistaken, because I will not pretend I am the sort of person who would do that. I won't. And I am so hurt and furious and want someone to apologize to /me/.
I may not be a perfect person, but if there is one thing I am not, it is a thief. I go above and beyond for my grandparents and on top of that, I am always completely responsible and forthcoming about money. I don't play around with money and I don't spend it frivolously. And I certainly don't go behind people's backs.
My grandfather will be 91 years old in a month's time and it is very possible he will die with these awful impressions of me. My heart is just sick over the thought of that.
My grandfather, one of the people my sun rises and sets on and the person for whom my daughter is named, called me and reamed me out because I cashed out an account he set up for me as a child "without telling him." Which of course I didn't do, we spoke about this at length back when I was pregnant because I wanted to use the money to help me stay home with Punk and he not only said it was okay but also told me when specifically to withdraw the money so as to avoid penalties. He remembers none of this, but rather than even consider the possibility that he has forgotten, he just insisted over and over again that we never talked about it, and more to the point, that he is devastated that I would not "take him into confidence" about something like this and that he is so offended.
I don't even know what to say or do. I realize that he is especially sensitive about this sort of thing because my cousin actually DID withdraw an account without telling him and spent the money on a bunch of douchbaggery several months ago, but I did not do this. I talked to him about the money in June of last year and I withdrew the money, at his request, in April of this year. (It was rolling over at that time.) Not only that, I brought it up AGAIN after all of the crap went down with my cousin because I was shocked and appalled that my cousin would do such a thing.
There is absolutely nothing I can do to convince him that we agreed on this. I even tried telling him that he /told me/ to wait until April to take the money. (I don't get any documents about the money, they go to his house.) That he said it was a good idea. That he said it was mine to use. Et cetera. He just insists and insists that he had no idea about it and that he is so hurt that I would do this behind his back. And I am upset that he is so upset, of course, and I am frustrated that he forgot, but mostly I am just so hurt that he thinks I am a douchebag. That he thinks that I would do something like this, that it is completely impossible that perhaps he forgot and instead it's completely possible that I would take money from him and cover it up.
By the end of the conversation, since he was clearly looking for an apology, I apologized for the only thing I could apologize for in good conscience - that I was sorry I didn't remind him of our agreement when I took out the money (like, gave him a heads up reminder that day). I absolutely will not entertain the possibility that we didn't talk about it and I am mistaken, because I will not pretend I am the sort of person who would do that. I won't. And I am so hurt and furious and want someone to apologize to /me/.
I may not be a perfect person, but if there is one thing I am not, it is a thief. I go above and beyond for my grandparents and on top of that, I am always completely responsible and forthcoming about money. I don't play around with money and I don't spend it frivolously. And I certainly don't go behind people's backs.
My grandfather will be 91 years old in a month's time and it is very possible he will die with these awful impressions of me. My heart is just sick over the thought of that.
