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It finally happened.
Mark said he didn't want to be friends.
I think his words were "I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

Maybe that's true for him, but I have some things to say. I'd like to say, "I thought you said we'd be friends no matter what." I'd like to say, "If I'd known this would happen, I would have never let anything else happen." I'd like to say, "Remember when we would feel each other?" I'd like to say, "Did our friendship mean nothing?" I'd like to say, "You give up too easily." I'd like to say a lot of things, but none of them particularly matter now.

Why is it that even though I knew this was inevitable, even though I knew when I'd been avoided almost continuously since December, it still hurts?

This could be the saddest dusk
I've ever seen. Turn to a miracle,
High alive. My mind is racing
As it always will.
My hand is tired, my heart aches
I'm half a world away here.
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judecorp

December 2011

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