The Beast Within

Lyrics by Jim Carroll and Lenny Kaye

If give me your ear
I'll whisper you wind that could soothe your burnt blood
The door is right here
breathing the air filled with powders and porn
now comes the dawn

If I release the dove
Would it betray the sky and return to your cage
In the river above
Can I fold back the pages and just take one look
into your jungle book

Refrain: Some say it's a lie, some say it's a sin
Do you know how it ends if you won't let it begin?
You feel it waking now beneath your skin
You can't live without the beast within

If you lift up your veil
Then I'll finish the features that aren't quite done
How could we fail
With all the miraculous masks that we wear
In shadows and stares

Let's seal out the dare
Your eyes like morning, naked and wet
What price will we pay?
Now think back and tell me how we ever got here
Such tender years

Fun with the US Postal Service

This afternoon, one box of Count Chocula cereal was placed lovingly into a Priority Mail box and shipped to My Evil Twin. The look on the face of the woman at the counter when I waved my box of sugary cereal and said, "I need a box to mail this, please," was absolutely priceless.

Sometimes I absolutely love being me. I am so fortunate. Earlier this morning, I was ICQing My Karate Smurf and was lamenting that I just transferred $1700 from savings to checking to pay my tuition (in case the assistantship falls through, the bill will be due). What was I thinking?!? I quickly backtracked and realized that I am completely and totally blessed that I HAVE the money to transfer and pay my tuition. Yes, I am very very fortunate.

And I have wonderful friends. I will start seeing whole big bunches of them tomorrow (TOMORROW!!), and I will be able to wrap my arms around them and smile at them and touch them and laugh with them. I can't wait. (But I am still nervous!)

My wonderful, darling friend Guy in the Jewel of Columbia bought me Sinister Minister and Bad Habit (the two new Living Dead Dolls - things I collect - that I didn't have). For no reason. Early Christmas. Just because. I am blessed, I tell you.

I have a family full of people who, while harsh sometimes, always have my back and will always take care of me. If I called my grandparents and said, "Please pay my tuition," they would. If I said, "I am moving back to Rhode Island tomorrow," they would change the sheets on the bed. If I said, "I need someone here right now," my mother would be on the next plane.

Sometimes you just need a little perspective, I guess. Sure, things may be rough, and sure, this is a very sad time. I can't even get myself to vocalize the word 'divorce' yet. These things will come in time. In the interim, and always, I have family and friends and my brain and dreams and goals and plans and crushes and living dead dolls and cats and count chocula cereal and LJ and ICQ and toys and smurfs and airplanes to the City and music and hugs and smooches and the 80s and Mr. T and everything else.

And did I mention that because I am washing all of my clothes to pack for the City, I am currently wearing a pair of jean shorts that I haven't been able to wear comfortably since I went to visit Diana, Sara and Cyn in May of 1999? Oops, I guess I just did.

ObJ: You will always be my first Ob.
ObK: And you will never be the last.
ObC: You're cute, you know.
ObM: Way to go, Child Protective Services person!
ObMeri: My Evil Twin, have a better day today.
ObFly: You too.
ObJW: *HUG*
ObJode: I love you. Forever.

I [Heart] Radiskull and Devil Doll

Joe Sparks is the man. You should all watch all of the Radiskull movies and love them and download all of the MP3s and love them too. Then you can be pathetic like me.

Radiskull and Devil Doll always make me smile. :)

Goodbye, Cruel World!

I'm going to shut off the computer now. The next time I post, I will be smiling and crazymanic, because I will have NYC in me, and I will be in it.

And rizzo41 and ennuiennui, among others, will remember exactly how annoying I really am. :) Lucky them.

Some folks like to get away
Take a holiday from the neighborhood
Hop a flight to Miami Beach or Hollywood
I'm just taking a Greyhound
Down the Hudson River line
I'm in a New York state of mind.