Recollections.

I don't even know where to begin. I left on Friday afternoon. It's the inky early hours of Thursday morning now. So much has happened that I wish I could accurately or adequately capture here, and I don't think I can. I want to remember every single detail. I'll fail. I know this. I hope, though, that I can remember the important things.

1. I love all of you. Yes, you.
2. I am homesick. (Home being Boston. Not Ohio.)
3. I had an amazing time.
4. It was also a difficult time. But that didn't make it less amazing.
5. My brother is trying so very hard.
6. I have a ton of good memories.

( The Director's Cut: )

Addendum

When Shani asked me to describe the party in brief words, I said this:

"I hurt someone much more than I wanted to, and I like someone much more than I should."

Unfortunately, the two are related.

This fall, I got back in touch with someone who was special to me in college. We were good friends who spent a good deal of Quality Time together. We share a birthday. We share friends. From autumn on, I've learned that we share other things, too ~ understanding, for one thing.

I left for the party completely overwhelmed by dizzy feelings of conflict: I had a fun and giddy crush on a girl I'd gone on a couple of dates with, and I was starting to become very emotionally attached to the girl I got back in touch with. Both girls were going to be at this party. Several times, I debated chickening out. However, the desire to be honest and upfront and honorable, coupled by desire to see my old friend after 5 years, demanded that I Face the Music.

I'm going to be very honest here, and reading this may hurt some people. It may anger some people. It may annoy some people. Some people may think I'm nuts. If you think you could be one of these people, ( you don't have to read this. )

A few days late.

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear xanthe42!
Happy birthday to you!

Smooches to you, Kayt! :) And extras for missing 31 December!