It's not a kingdom. It's not an angry god.
May. 9th, 2002 04:45 pmWhat have I been up to? Monday I tooled around online, went to work, raced out of there in time to go to kickboxing (I never get to go on Mondays), and looked at apartments in Columbus online. Tuesday I went to work, ate lunch with
happy2beso and we met Palmer and Micah at Vic's. That night, I went to Best Buy and City Barbecue with A. and bought Chasing Amy on DVD and "Become You" by the Indigo Girls on CD. As if this was a sign, my Indigo Girls tickets arrived in the mail, one for me, one for
happy2beso. That night, I bailed on volunteering at Kaleidoscope (promising to go next week) and went to Norm's house for a GradQueers coffee and dessert thingie, and then took my dessert to
whod81's where we hung out and watched Heathers. Yesterday, I went to work, went to kickboxing, and just plain hung out in my apartment sending resumes and stuff. I was totally wiped. I was going to watch Say Anything but I was too tired, so I called
kieron and went to bed. So far today I've gone to work, eaten lunch with
sacharine (she rocks! she rocks!), and have returned to work. I have Crisis Intervention at 6:30. Oh joy of joys.
I wish I had something interesting to say. Maybe I can make something up.
You know, I really am a coward. I'm too afraid to make a clean, concise break, yet I'm too afraid to make a commitment. Or maybe I'm not afraid at all. Maybe I'm trying to please everyone but myself. I'm a hard person to please, because I never expect anything, never let myself want anything, never crave anything but safe things like blue ice cream and swedish fish. Small things seemingly insignificant that I can attribute my own special significance to. Like my Midnight Blue Crayola. Like my knights. Like
scirocco's wisdom tooth.
I'm just a little boy inside, that's the biggest problem, I guess. I want fun and clowns and thrilling carnival rides, but I'm expected to want the picket fence and the nine-to-five. There's no denying the climbing trees spirit, though, the Peter Pan syndrome I've so apt to succumb to. Will I have a Wendy? And if I do, am I just going to keep flying away from her again and again after I save her from Captain Hook?
jost keeps reminding me that I bring all of this on myself. And I know I do, but thanks for the challenging reminders.
If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting.
I wish I had something interesting to say. Maybe I can make something up.
You know, I really am a coward. I'm too afraid to make a clean, concise break, yet I'm too afraid to make a commitment. Or maybe I'm not afraid at all. Maybe I'm trying to please everyone but myself. I'm a hard person to please, because I never expect anything, never let myself want anything, never crave anything but safe things like blue ice cream and swedish fish. Small things seemingly insignificant that I can attribute my own special significance to. Like my Midnight Blue Crayola. Like my knights. Like
I'm just a little boy inside, that's the biggest problem, I guess. I want fun and clowns and thrilling carnival rides, but I'm expected to want the picket fence and the nine-to-five. There's no denying the climbing trees spirit, though, the Peter Pan syndrome I've so apt to succumb to. Will I have a Wendy? And if I do, am I just going to keep flying away from her again and again after I save her from Captain Hook?
If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting.