Thoughts

It was really powerful and lovely to see everyone turn out for my grandfather's services over the weekend. He was a truly amazing man and touched so many lives. I am so proud of him, and proud to be a member of his family. It's funny, I don't have a particularly large family but I guess it packs a big punch nonetheless, especially when you consider my grandparents.

I feel good knowing that my grandfather never had any doubts about how much I loved him and what I thought of him. I have always been very free with the compliments over the years and have tried to show him how special he was at every holiday (and the days in between). What really touched me is hearing from others how proud he was of my daughter, his great-granddaughter. It seemed like everyone had heard about her or had seen a photo at one time or another. It reaffirms our choice to name her after him, because he truly was a great and significant person.

I have been shaped so much by my grandparents; I have learned so much about love, commitment, faith, and family from growing up in their home. I can only hope that I have done them justice over the years and am not a disappointment. I hope to pass their values down to my own children as well.

It was strange to attend a Catholic funeral after being in a Protestant church for so long. I can't say that I miss the pomp and the rigamarole. There was so much praying intended to help my grandfather get to Heaven, but honestly, if I may be so bold, Heaven was made for people like him. There is no doubt in my mind that he is now seated at the right hand of his God; he spent his life in service to God and his faith was so strong. He and my grandmother have always been such pillars of the church community in which I grew up, and it was for that reason I sought a church community for my own little family. Involvement and service were such a part of our existence as a family, and it had a tremendous effect on me. We are becoming quite active in our own church and it is a true throwback to my life as a child.

I will miss his smiles, I will miss his jokes. I will miss most of all the delight he showed in playing with my daughter. I know that she won't remember these times forever, but I take comfort in the fact that they were able to touch each other's lives, if only for mere moments. In 91 years, he was able to experience a great many things, and I am honored that a great-grandchild was one of them.

I am thankful that he died with little pain and truly little suffering. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Peace

I was just digging around in the basement. I started out by going through all of the baby clothes because Carter's will take back anything with the white block "tagless tag" on it for a refund. And I could use a refund! But then I realized that I had some spring stuff that needed to come up, too. I had forgotten that last summer I pulled a Little Tikes basketball hoop out of the dumpster for Punk, and now I can put it out in the yard. YAY! FUN TIMES!

I talked to the supervisor at my new job and everything seems to be set to go. I need to go to "medical services" tomorrow for my drug test and other stuff, and then I start orientation on Monday. It will be weird to go back to work! (Although when I get my tonsils out, I will have an extended hiatus again. Ugh.)

In "small world" news, my new supervisor went to a book club and saw the director of the program I turned down, who apparently joked and said, "I have a beef with you. You stole Jude." It was apparently all very positive and light-hearted and at least showed that I am a hot commodity in social work! How bizarre, though. :)

I have beautiful flowers from goddesswhitty and life is at peace for the moment, so I will take it.