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judecorpBitter sucks, and it is useless. Apologies to everyone, especially myself, for the pit that I let myself drop into for a little while. Sorry to anyone I blathered to. It took a good hour of breathlessness and ass kicking, perhaps, or maybe an introspective car ride.
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you. The things that I have learned in the past 10 months are invaluable and irreplaceable, and I owe a lot of that to you. We keep cursing time, and fate, and distance, and circumstance. Sometimes we superimpose each other's faces on those things and misdirect our anger and our frustration, and I'm sorry for that, and then some. We knew this wasn't the right time. We knew this wasn't the right space. We tried anyway. Earlier today, I was cursing that trial as something foolish or wasteful, but only because I was hotheaded and hurt.
It wasn't the right time, and we knew it, but we tried anyway because we had to. There really wasn't any other option, was there? There were lessons to learn, emotions to experience, sensations to receive. There was intensity and need and they demanded our actions. I am so very thankful for every single one of those. Thank you for loving me with your art and your passion. Thank you for letting me love you in my own perfectly flawed way.
Please continue to let me know your dreams so I can continue to work toward making them come true. Please continue to let our friendship grow and change. Please continue to be the angel that you are. Please come to visit me when you get back from camp, or when you get settled in your new home, or when you get a chance. Please continue to write and call.
I don't regret a single thing about what we've had or what it's become. I only regret time, and circumstance, and fate, and distance. Not us. Not you. Never you.
you can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and i'll grant it
you can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
you can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and i'll support it
you can ask for anything you want anything at all and i'll understand it
and there are no strings attached
And when I say, "I love you," I can honestly say I know what that means. I owe a lot of that to you. You owe me nothing in return.
I'm not a canary, oriole, dove, quail, robin, hummingbird, or any other kind of feathered creature that lives in or near trees, and exists only to love another canary, oriole, dove, quail, robin, or hummingbird, and sing about it. I'm an American. Fun is fun, but I know the difference between good wholesome fun and love, and love is too good for me or anybody like me. It's too wonderful. I can't fly and I can't sing and I need honest-to-God nourishment. I've got to have rare roast beef at least once a day and when I'm in love I can't eat.
Maybe next time around, eh?
~K
Life is still beautiful. I am still the luckiest person in the world. The universe, as always, smiles on me. And I love you all.
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you. The things that I have learned in the past 10 months are invaluable and irreplaceable, and I owe a lot of that to you. We keep cursing time, and fate, and distance, and circumstance. Sometimes we superimpose each other's faces on those things and misdirect our anger and our frustration, and I'm sorry for that, and then some. We knew this wasn't the right time. We knew this wasn't the right space. We tried anyway. Earlier today, I was cursing that trial as something foolish or wasteful, but only because I was hotheaded and hurt.
It wasn't the right time, and we knew it, but we tried anyway because we had to. There really wasn't any other option, was there? There were lessons to learn, emotions to experience, sensations to receive. There was intensity and need and they demanded our actions. I am so very thankful for every single one of those. Thank you for loving me with your art and your passion. Thank you for letting me love you in my own perfectly flawed way.
Please continue to let me know your dreams so I can continue to work toward making them come true. Please continue to let our friendship grow and change. Please continue to be the angel that you are. Please come to visit me when you get back from camp, or when you get settled in your new home, or when you get a chance. Please continue to write and call.
I don't regret a single thing about what we've had or what it's become. I only regret time, and circumstance, and fate, and distance. Not us. Not you. Never you.
you can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and i'll grant it
you can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
you can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and i'll support it
you can ask for anything you want anything at all and i'll understand it
and there are no strings attached
And when I say, "I love you," I can honestly say I know what that means. I owe a lot of that to you. You owe me nothing in return.
I'm not a canary, oriole, dove, quail, robin, hummingbird, or any other kind of feathered creature that lives in or near trees, and exists only to love another canary, oriole, dove, quail, robin, or hummingbird, and sing about it. I'm an American. Fun is fun, but I know the difference between good wholesome fun and love, and love is too good for me or anybody like me. It's too wonderful. I can't fly and I can't sing and I need honest-to-God nourishment. I've got to have rare roast beef at least once a day and when I'm in love I can't eat.
Maybe next time around, eh?
~K
Life is still beautiful. I am still the luckiest person in the world. The universe, as always, smiles on me. And I love you all.
