Keep spelling, mister!

[judecorp]

I think they should give out little stickers to wear that say, "Be nice to me, I had a gynecological exam today."

Actually, after four years of dread, it wasn't bad at all. I highly recommend this doctor (Pamela Dull at Rardin Family Practice - OSU). Her nurse came and asked all kinds of screening questions about whether I have smoke detectors in my apartment and whether I wear seatbelts. She asked if I was sexually active and when I said yes, she grilled me about why I wasn't using birth control. "So you don't /care/ if you get pregnant?" It was the way she said it, I don't know, assumptive, bleh. I said, "I'm a lesbian," and she wrote 'gay' on her big form under the part that I'm a nonsmoker who uses seatbelts. Whee. Dr. Dull (real name, hee!) was much more nonchalant about the whole birth control thing, and agreed that lesbianism was an incredibly effective method. I felt very comfortable with her. We even went into my previous experience with birth control, and how I will never ever ever ever take it again (ever), and she alleviated some of my fears (from previous doctors) that if I didn't have regular periods, I would get intrauterine cancer. She said that as long as I bleed twice a year, I'm set. If I don't, she can make me bleed twice a year. No problem.

So yeah. I liked her. I even let them take whole big bunches of blood to test for silly things like gonorrhea and chlamydia and cholesterol and my hormones and all of that. But I got the Big Icky Exam out of the way, and for that, I'm all kinds of proud of myself.

Comments

[jeffholton.livejournal.com]

I even let them take whole big bunches of blood to test for silly things like gonorrhea and chlamydia and cholesterol and my hormones and all of that.

OMG!

Can you get cholesterol from sex??!?

Uh oh.

[doulamel.livejournal.com]

Those damn seatbelt wearers.. ;)

[communista.livejournal.com]

Hoo-wee! I got a button maker, let's go to town!

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

"and agreed that lesbianism was an incredibly effective method."

What a relief to have this confirmed by a doctor!

Ha!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

If people want to put smoke detectors in the bedrooms that's fine, but they don't have to flaunt it or try to recruit others!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's proven medically effective. I've never gotten pregnant via lesbian sex!

Re: Ha!

[doulamel.livejournal.com]

You said it. It's this whole "agenda" they have...

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

Imagine, you will never ever have to pee on a damn stick!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, you are TOO funny. :)

I actually asked for the cholesterol screening, since I've never had one. The doctor pushed for the STD tests.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, that rocks.

I bet we could make some serious money.

$BLING$BLING$

Re: Ha!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Next thing you know, they're going to want special rights.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Been there. Done that.

Bleh!

I will tell you, though, that it's /really/ nice to be able to have sex whenever I want to, without any thought about birth control. And it's also nice to know that even though my period is crazy irregular, I never have to worry that "maybe this time..." Yay!

[doulamel.livejournal.com]

No finger babies?

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

This reminds me, my pelvic exam is after Thanksgiving. Bleah.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, not me personally. You'd have to talk to chutup.

Re:

[doulamel.livejournal.com]

Hehe. That would solve ALL my problems.

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately it's not a viable birth-control option for all of us. :)

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

Did they use the mascara wand on you?

I miss the days of the q-tip.

[chutup.livejournal.com]

ahhhhHHHHH
that was graphic. also true. what the hell happened to the qtips?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

If I could, I'd make you a sticker!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ewwwwwwwwww.

I have no idea what she used. I was so not looking.

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

I wish I could even say that word in the military clinic! They'd probably freak even faster than the time I suggested I could IV myself (at least better than the green/nervous airmen they practice on me with).

Thank you for the reminder I need to schedule my annual gyno exam. I was just going to blitz the clinic tomorrow in search of someone with a clue because my sinuses have hurt since Saturday with no relief and I swear the scheduler I talked to today (who doesn't actually schedule, mind you) said "I'll have someone call you back for a consult on what you _can't_ do" before I spent the next several hours waiting for that callback. They shall fear the wrath of someone who's done their best to only go in for regularly scheduled maintenance.

Re:

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

I HATE the mascara wand-bottle brush-spatula thingy. Cause you can FEEL it. I never felt the q-tip.

Yug, just thinking about the brush going *frink frink frink* up in dere makes me nauseous.

Everything in it's place? ^_~

[opalexian.livejournal.com]

w00t! 'Grats on the exam!

I just had mine, and I came out with flying colors. Well, not literaly, but, you know. ; )

Birth control pellets suck ass...they've given me more than my fair share of problems. 'Safe now' my entire ASS! -_-

Re: Everything in it's place? ^_~

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I had terrible problems with birth control pills. For starters, my body which was not used to having cyclical hormones started turning me into this moody, angry, megabitch. Yuck. And I was photosensitive. And my face broke out. And my boobs grew a whole size. And I added 15 pounds to my hips. Oh my god, it was awful. I will never ever ever do that again. :(

Hopefully the exam turns out okay. I sure don't want to go for a more invasive procedure! (ick)

[noog.livejournal.com]

You mean, lesbian sex won't get me pregnant...?

Damn. I always thought that it was more effective, since there were two women involved. =P

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Suck me, beautiful.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*curls up in the fetal position*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't envy you for having to work through the military health system. That seems like such a lot of red tape. Bleh.

I feel for you. Hope you feel better soon!

WTF?

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

Wait... You're a lesbian? *smacks self on forehead*

Re: WTF?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

What are you talking about? I have a boyfriend!

[saldemonium.livejournal.com]

Ugh, ugh, ugh. I hate, hate, hate those exams. I have to be all but forced into going. Yuck.

Re:

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

*rubs your back*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*licks you*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I like your new userpic. :)

Long time no comment. It's nice to hear from you. How are you?

(Notice this comment has nothing to do with icky exams.)

Re:

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

*screams with delight and grabs your ears*

[saldemonium.livejournal.com]

I'm not bad. I don't comment a lot, but I do still read! =)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm just glad you're still out there. :)