Rainy days and Tuesdays
Jun. 3rd, 2003 09:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpIt's starting to dawn on me that I have to start jobsearching. I had lulled myself into a false sense of security because I'd bid on another position at FM (it wasn't as good as the one I have now, but better than the one they're trying to funnel us into) and was pretty much told that I would get it. Then my boss called me to tell me that half of the position (it was a combo of two positions) may be cut for lack of funding. So then I started to panic a little bit because I'd lost my foolproof escape route.
I surprised myself yesterday when, upon reflecting on the news in the restroom, I thought, "Well, I certainly won't make any decisions until I talk with Jennifer." I suppose this is indicative of both the seriousness of our relationship and the dependence I've come to have on her. She's very supportive no matter what, and I'm thankful for that. This is good, since it's much more likely that I'll be collecting unemployment come July 1.
Last night I printed out my old resume so that my coworker can look it over with me. (Heck, she writes resumes for people with multiple felonies, and they get jobs, so she must be good!) It felt weird to dust off the resume. I really did naively believe that my job would be here for me as long as I wanted it - and that my coworkers would be there, too. Since the "Big Announcement," two RAs (resident assistants) have told me that they will be leaving. (Not fired, quitting.) They don't like the changes. I don't blame them. No one will be left in my building.
The other upsetting thing was that the FM rumor mill was churning, and the word on the street (it's usually accurate) was that the new "Shelter Manager" (who would be my new supervisor if I took the job they're trying to funnel us into) was remarking to people that she didn't want to work with me, that we wouldn't be a good fit, and that we would butt heads. (Of course we would - I'm coming from a clinical background and she's not!) That doesn't really entice me to take the Intake Specialist job, since it's likely that I could be fired or have my life be miserable since she doesn't like me. And well, maybe I'm a snob, but I don't like the idea of having a supervisor without a degree (when I have 3) and who isn't a social worker (since we have different values/ standpoints).
It's all very upsetting. Yesterday I wrote a little thank-you note to Coworker Shannon for sending me a file, and I wrote, "I really am going to miss you." Today Shannon, Jeff and I are meeting off-site to discuss what we want to do. My decision will certainly be influenced by theirs. I have a tremendous amount of respect for them.
And while I'm a little giddy about the prospect of having endless free time this summer, and I'm confident that I can make it work financially, I'm nervous about having to start a new job. I hate being the new person, I hate training, I hate not feeling competent. And I'm not looking forward to having to wait, /again/, for benefits. Hell, I'm being laid off after 10 months, which at FM means I haven't even become eligible for vacation time or 403(b). Great.
I surprised myself yesterday when, upon reflecting on the news in the restroom, I thought, "Well, I certainly won't make any decisions until I talk with Jennifer." I suppose this is indicative of both the seriousness of our relationship and the dependence I've come to have on her. She's very supportive no matter what, and I'm thankful for that. This is good, since it's much more likely that I'll be collecting unemployment come July 1.
Last night I printed out my old resume so that my coworker can look it over with me. (Heck, she writes resumes for people with multiple felonies, and they get jobs, so she must be good!) It felt weird to dust off the resume. I really did naively believe that my job would be here for me as long as I wanted it - and that my coworkers would be there, too. Since the "Big Announcement," two RAs (resident assistants) have told me that they will be leaving. (Not fired, quitting.) They don't like the changes. I don't blame them. No one will be left in my building.
The other upsetting thing was that the FM rumor mill was churning, and the word on the street (it's usually accurate) was that the new "Shelter Manager" (who would be my new supervisor if I took the job they're trying to funnel us into) was remarking to people that she didn't want to work with me, that we wouldn't be a good fit, and that we would butt heads. (Of course we would - I'm coming from a clinical background and she's not!) That doesn't really entice me to take the Intake Specialist job, since it's likely that I could be fired or have my life be miserable since she doesn't like me. And well, maybe I'm a snob, but I don't like the idea of having a supervisor without a degree (when I have 3) and who isn't a social worker (since we have different values/ standpoints).
It's all very upsetting. Yesterday I wrote a little thank-you note to Coworker Shannon for sending me a file, and I wrote, "I really am going to miss you." Today Shannon, Jeff and I are meeting off-site to discuss what we want to do. My decision will certainly be influenced by theirs. I have a tremendous amount of respect for them.
And while I'm a little giddy about the prospect of having endless free time this summer, and I'm confident that I can make it work financially, I'm nervous about having to start a new job. I hate being the new person, I hate training, I hate not feeling competent. And I'm not looking forward to having to wait, /again/, for benefits. Hell, I'm being laid off after 10 months, which at FM means I haven't even become eligible for vacation time or 403(b). Great.
