Maternal instincts
Jul. 14th, 2003 10:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpOn Saturday, I was on the phone with my mother. I was blathering on and on about my financial snafu woes, and Jennifer's car and tooth troubles, and my dryer vent. My mother was very concerned about the dryer vent, and kept insisting that it was a fire hazard and that it had to have a vent. (Well yes, mom, I agree that it has to have a vent. But I'm not the landlord.) Apparently, she was so bothered by this that she continued going on about it while she was visiting with her mother. Mem is a nice lady but I don't know her well, partially because I didn't live with my Mom growing up and partially because she doesn't hear well and never wears her hearing aids, so she stays out of conversations.
Later, Mom calls me back to let me know that she'd forgotten, until Saturday, to tell Mem that I'd moved. Mem was apparently asking how I could have lived in my apartment for a year and not noticed the dryer vent. Mom then tells me that she told Mem I moved, but didn't tell her about my moving in with Jennifer because she "wasn't sure I'd want Mem to know." Granted, I don't know that Mem's ever heard the word Jennifer come out of my mouth, but I've only seen her once since Jen and I got together - last Christmas, no hearing aids. Yeah.
I told my mother that of course I would want her to know, I want everyone to know (or rather, I don't personally care if anyone knows, I mean, heck, I'm not hiding it, I live with the girl). My mom then tells me how /she/ doesn't care, but she didn't know if I did, blah blah blah. I think having to "ask me about it" gave her some time to dodge the issue. How cute.
Honestly? My one wish for my mom is that the words "my daughter and her girlfriend/partner/whatever" flow as freely out of her mouth as "my daughter and her boyfriend/husband" would. I know these things take time, and I know that I'm not terribly close to my mom so I don't give her a lot of opportunities, but I wish she /had/ said something to Mem. No, I don't want those Lifetime movie conversations where my mother "outs" me to my grandmother (gah, what would she say? heh), but umm, it's time to start saying the words, kids, because we're not going anywhere, unless it's together.
Later, Mom calls me back to let me know that she'd forgotten, until Saturday, to tell Mem that I'd moved. Mem was apparently asking how I could have lived in my apartment for a year and not noticed the dryer vent. Mom then tells me that she told Mem I moved, but didn't tell her about my moving in with Jennifer because she "wasn't sure I'd want Mem to know." Granted, I don't know that Mem's ever heard the word Jennifer come out of my mouth, but I've only seen her once since Jen and I got together - last Christmas, no hearing aids. Yeah.
I told my mother that of course I would want her to know, I want everyone to know (or rather, I don't personally care if anyone knows, I mean, heck, I'm not hiding it, I live with the girl). My mom then tells me how /she/ doesn't care, but she didn't know if I did, blah blah blah. I think having to "ask me about it" gave her some time to dodge the issue. How cute.
Honestly? My one wish for my mom is that the words "my daughter and her girlfriend/partner/whatever" flow as freely out of her mouth as "my daughter and her boyfriend/husband" would. I know these things take time, and I know that I'm not terribly close to my mom so I don't give her a lot of opportunities, but I wish she /had/ said something to Mem. No, I don't want those Lifetime movie conversations where my mother "outs" me to my grandmother (gah, what would she say? heh), but umm, it's time to start saying the words, kids, because we're not going anywhere, unless it's together.
