I am my own worst therapist.

[judecorp]

So I wonder, is "self-help" something people /really/ do, or just talk about? I mean, it's easy (and painless) to read books or inspirationals with good intentions, but hard to actually put the information into practice. I'm certainly guilty of this. I like to read self-help stuff, probably in part due to my past therapist experience, and I like to see how other people's advice can fit into my own life, but do I ever really /use/ the information? Do I ever really help myself on anything other than an intellectual level?

For example, I do a lot of thinking about my relationship with Jen. When we disagree, we do a lot of talking about the issues and what we might be able to do to fix the situation or avoid it in the future. And while I can certainly nod my head, or acknowledge that what she's saying makes a lot of sense, do I ever really change my behavior or my stance on things? Do I really put forth the effort? Or do I just go along, business as usual, either waiting for her to change or waiting for the issue to resurface? Questions, questions.

I reserved some library book today on lesbian relationships. While I don't necessarily think lesbian relationships are different from gay male relationships or heterosexual relationships, I'm curious to read what the author has to say. The social worker in me is curious about her suggestions and advice just as the sociologist in me wonders about her methods and her background. I've never read a relationship-focused book before, unless you count Couplehood by Paul Reiser - I found that at the house of one of my college boyfriends' parents. I wonder what it means that I even /want/ to, and now.

I wonder why I'm always so painstakingly analytical of my actions and thoughts.