Makeover Boot Camp

[judecorp]

I realized something kind of funny today. This is probably because it's still raining, and there's nothing to do but clean the house, do laundry, rip CDs from the library, and think aimlessly.

So for as long as I can remember, I always had this little game I would play with myself. I would sort of imagine this fantasy life for myself and pretend I was on a talk show and was being interviewed. Usually I would just blab aloud about this other life in the first person without thinking of actual questions that would be asked - it wasn't like I sat and had a two-way conversation with myself. I think this was probably a way I would test different identities or different traits in my mind without actually owning them. I remember doing this a great deal in junior high and high school.

I know that I was also really into doing this when I was married and we had moved to Ohio. But in these later exercises, while the actual persona might have changed, the person being interviewed was always a lesbian. I would come up with these fictitious coming out stories, or past relationships, or current relationships, or fantasies, or whatever. (Leaving me alone to think is usually a dangerous thing.) And still, I would create these fantastic, fulfilling lives and blab about them out loud in an empty apartment when I had nothing else to do.

I haven't done this in at least two years. How fascinating! What weird/eccentric/odd things have YOU done?

Comments

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

I've talked to myself for a long time. Not really in a freaky I'm a nutbag way (of course I am crazy, but I'm a functional consumer, so society keeps me a little while longer). In these conversations I represent two distinct parts of my makeup. One of them is the emotional passionate site, and he is usually having a dialog with the emotionless "Logic" part of myself. I'm sure I watched too much Star Trek as a kid and that's how this got started, but its sometimes very useful. I've used it to talk myself out of buying things, or doing things that my logic convinces my emotion that I shouldn't. Which isn't to say logic always wins. It certainly doesn't.

[sacharine.livejournal.com]

when I'm left alone to think, I usually work out phrases/short stories in my head, just playing with words to see what sounds good, but i never feel like actually writing anything down. I also translate songs i like into french. (wow, does that sound NERDY.)

[xanthe42.livejournal.com]

When I was in high school and trying to make a tough decision I wrote out a pseudo-debate with myself: KAYT vs. kayt...it's all on paper and full of the usual teenage angst, but it did help me make my decision.

I think a lot in a running narrative and random sentences will pop into my head and i'll start spinning a whole new story based on that one thought.

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

I haven't done this in a while, but at night before I fell asleep, I used to draft screenplays and cast them and put a soundtrack to them and play them out in my head. Of course the female protagonist was always me.

Like you, I haven't done this recently. Mostly before I fall asleep I now work on little stories or other projects that I'm involved in.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

I have an active imagination. When I run out of original ideas, I make up characters and stories for existing stories, movies, books, etc....

When I am alone, while reading, while driving, while sketching - I play out these scenarios in my head - these little stories. Sometimes these internal plays spill out and I say the inane and pretentious dialogue myself and play all the parts in my own personal drama...:)

This is why I won't read out loud dialogue...it embarasses me...heh:)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

Okay, I'm game. I'll out myself with my little talking-to-myself thing. :)

Well, when I was really little I created my own language that consisted of babbling and then me saying, "That meant...." hehe. But I think that's pretty common in kids.

What I do do, pretty often still (though not as often as I used to), is I have conversations with people in my head. You know, whoever is on my mind most at the time. If I'm having an issue, or internally worried about some interaction coming up, I play it out seven different ways (and sideways) in my mind. So I'll be driving along, I'll be at work, I'll be watching TV and in the back of my mind, I'll be having a really intense conversation. hehe. Yeah, I'm deep. Or is that scary? I dunno. I haven't figured it out yet. ;)

And, now that I think of it, it isn't confined to the realm of stressful things, I play out scenarios in my mind for seduction, for flirtation, etc--with known and unknown characters. It's all the process working up to writing something, i think.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

Ha! Get out of my head! I too talk out loud as if I was being interviewed on a talk show (sometimes a reporter). They are always interviewing me because I'm the new rising star in some hit movie or whatnot. I've been getting interviewed by James Lipton a lot lately.

[kaasirpent]

I used to redo conversations in my head and make them go the way I wanted them to. Of course, I'd always think of the great comebacks then instead of during the actual conversation.

Even now, I still type things out in my private journal when I am trying to work things through. Somehow, things look different when they're written out in black and white than when they're in your head, competing for run time in your brain.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

SOUPY!

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

What're you gonna do? Throw a carrot at me?

[prettyvacantone.livejournal.com]

I have extensive arguments/conversations with people in my head, especially while driving. I also have a tendency to write LJ entries in my head, setting moods and music and everything. That's ultimate geek-core!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I find it amusing that you can trace everything back to sci-fi.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I also translate songs i like into french.

Dude, that's just NUTS! Nerdius maximus!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think KAYT could kick kayt's ass - she's much bigger. Unless, of course, kayt fought dirty.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

When I used to do a lot of roleplaying and story-writing, I also used to write screenplays in my head, usually using my or my friends' roleplay characters.

I used to feel creative. Aah well.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Cue Steve: "What are you doing?"

I can't imagine saying all the dialogue myself, but I know that I like songs in musicals where lots of characters are singing, because I like to be all of the different people! (Especially if they are arguing.)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

When I was going through the big divorce, I would spend a lot of time taking long walks around my apartment complex - partly to sort things out in my head and partly to work off frustration. A lot of times, I would pick someone (usually one of my closest friends or my mother, for reasons unknown) and talk to them. It really helped.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I love James Lipton so much.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Sadly, the great comebacks /always/ come later!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Nerdy girls make me hot!

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Hahaha.. Sad.. But probably true

... and it isn't just talk, talk, talk.

[kjtoo.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I talk to myself. Quite a lot. In the shower, in the car. I don't always reserve these conversations for when I'm alone, either.

I guess the goofiest aspect of it is the voices. I'll do an extended monologue in my best Patrick Stewart, Sean Connery or Arnold Schwarzenegger. I work on my Christoper Walken. ("You're doing it all wrong. You're talking to my boy all wrong, and if you do it again ... I'm gonna stab you ... in the neck ... with an icepick.")

I say, "... and I'm Robert Siegel" over and over and over again.

Sometimes, the voices argue. The guy from the Bronx is the most vulgar and everything with him always boils down to him having "yer [whatever] right here, pal." That, or he resorts to talking about how the pizza guy kept scratching himself. The German, French, Italian, Irish, Russian, Scottish and Finnish guys all have their piece to say, too. Some more frequently than others.

The conversations are nonsense. They have no bearing on anything that's happening in my life, with the exception of Bing Crosby. Bing pops up when I'm driving and other people around me are doing stupid thing (failing to use their turn signals, cutting people off, running red lights, or other dumb things everyone else on the road does). Bing talks to the other drivers as only Bing can. He doesn't use obscenities and he's (almost) never vulgar, but it's very satisfying to hear him tell someone off in that calm, melodic voice of his. ("Well now, I don't suppose they had time to show you what that lever on the left does, did they? Makes the lights flash on one side of the car, is what it does. Tells other folks on the road you're planning to change lanes. Marvelous.")

now i feel nuts.

[schlemaggle.livejournal.com]

hmm...i've had to think about this a bit, mainly because i do a lot of wierd things, and a lot of the things that other people have mentioned. the thing i'm probably the worst about, though, is having a conversation with someone a million different times in my head before i actually have it or bring the topic up. like if i'm anticipating one of those 'why are we together?' talks...i will internally scipt the 'why are we together?' talk with myself and read as me *and* the other person, anticipating what the other person will say, how he/she will respond to what i say, etc.

the end results are:
a) i end up having 'the talk' many different ways and with many different outcomes. and then, when i actually do participate in the real talk, it's almost like i've prepared myself for what comes next no matter what tone the talk starts to take on, because i've pulled out the worst case scenario, the best possible outcome, the most likely conversation to occur, etc.
b) i end up sounding like i'm not open to the suggestion that things aren't as i see them, and the other person ends up feeling like i've already made up my mind about something without concern for what he/she feels, when, in fact, i haven't. it's almost like i resign myself to one certain outcome if 'the talk' starts to go one certain way, and it makes me look very closed-off and...bitchy.
c) it ends up driving me crazy, as i'm always sort of on my guard.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

Yeah, me too! When C. and I broke up, I spent a lot of nights and afternoons walking along the cliffs overlooking the ocean, talking to myself. It still feels like a healing place there.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It sounds beautiful.

Re: ... and it isn't just talk, talk, talk.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am so often in awe of your creativity. This is another of those times. You are amazing. :)

Re: now i feel nuts.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I've done that - and the person I'm having the discussion with invariably gets really pissed at me because I go into "I know what you're going to say" mode. Oopsie! :)

p.s. Welcome!

now i don't feel quite so nuts.

[schlemaggle.livejournal.com]

yeah...i go into that mode, too. and it really sucks, because they invariably end up saying what you think they are going to say. eh. oh well. i'm just glad i'm not the only person who does this. :)

p.s. thanks! i've heard so much about you from various (2) sources and am looking forward to meeting you one of these days. but for now, LJ, in all it's glory, will have to do.

okay, really, what it boils down to, was that i started to feel like i was LJ-stalking you when i would get to your LJ via a comment somewhere else. eventually, i decided that skipping a step and adding you would be easier and more time-efficient for me. well, that, and you seem really kickass, too. and i like kickass people. they kick...ass. yeah. :)

Re: now i don't feel quite so nuts.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, I love having a psychostalker. That's kind of fun (if it's someone non-threatening and cool, of course).

I have heard nothing but good things about you. Maybe I'm not talking to the right people. ;)

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

i too, had to think about this for a while, because i do _a lot_ of weird/eccentric/odd things. but since we are focusing on self talk- i'll narrow my weirdness down to that.

i think to myself in "story". i guess that's not too weird- but to me it seems weird because it doesn't feel like it's me thinking. it's like there is this other part of my brain that works separately from the rest and comes up with stories, dialogue or monologue and just keeps right on going even when i can't write it down. i don't even fuel it, it just starts on its own, and goes and stops on it's own.

i make myself laugh by thinking about how i'd describe things too. this happens most frequently at the gym, since i am often at a lifting machine unable to read or do anything else interesting. i observe others or work problems out in my head. then think how i'd like to write it down.

i talk to myself out loud too- but i don't think this is weird- lots of people talk to themselves.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I talk to myself all the time. Anyone who says they don't is totally lying.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Scott says he doesn't. What a liar. He talks to himself only its usually in the guise of speaking to the cats:

"You think I should just skip mowing the lawn, don't you Ezra?"

*no response from cat*

"I knew it. Well, I'm going to take your advice, and spend time petting you instead."

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, that's the SAME EXACT THING. Liar! LIAR!!

My ex used to use the cat to say emotional things to me that he felt he couldn't say otherwise. While I appreciated the conversation, it was a little disconcerting.

"Daedalus, tell your mommy that I'm sorry."
"Mommy? Daddy didn't mean to get upset. He loves you very much."

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Freaky!

I'm glad you agree. Scott tries to make it out like I'm the only freak talking to myself in the house- but we all do it- even Tayler!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

What about Ezra? Does she walk around saying, "Meow. Meow meow meow. MOMMY!"

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Yes- even the cats talk to themselves!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

SHE LIKES IT WHEN I SMOOSH HER FACE ON THE FLOOR, MOMMY!