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judecorpIt's my Cover Day. Every day, a member of my team has to be in the office all day to handle any emergencies. There are five of us, so we each get one day. Mine is Thursday, glorious Thursday. Why oh why Coworker Tamarine chose Friday is beyond me. (Because, you see, if you take a day off, you have to have someone cover your Cover Day. And who doesn't want to take Fridays off?) So here I am. Cover Day is usually a great time to catch up on paperwork and stuff, because you can't leave. However, I have one case. I got it yesterday. I wrote my note for it this morning... and my paperwork was done.
La la la, cover day, la la la. 30 minutes to go. Everyone else on my team is out of the office, as far as I know. La la la, cover day.
I went to lunch today with Former Coworker Jennifer, who has to be one of THE funniest and craziest women I have ever met. She relayed this story to me wherein she discovered her then-boyfriend was sleeping with another woman. She dropped by her boyfriend's house and he was pulling on clothes and blocking the door, so Crazy Jennifer ducks under his arm and runs upstairs to catch The Other Woman putting on clothes. They get into an altercation, and Idiot Boyfriend tells them to leave, and then locks them both out of his house. Wherein TOW realizes she left her purse inside, so they start screaming at him to let her in to get her purse. So at one point, IB says he's going to call the police. Crazy Jennifer yells back (and no joke, she seriously said this, I have no doubt), "Don't call the police. Nothing's happened yet." She then proceeded to throw a citronella candle through one of his windows and yelled, "Okay, /now/ you can call the police." Holy crap on a cracker, when she told me that story in the Goody Boy today I lost all sense of social functioning. I laughed so freaking loud. Only Former Coworker Jennifer would do that. HA HA HA HA.
Okay, maybe it's funnier if you know her. But by God, I want to tell everyone this story and it's not even my story. La la la, cover day, la la la, I wonder if work has an Internet policy, la la la. Everybody now!
Suspected Lesbian Coworker came into my office again today throwing out random gay stuff. She is apparently trying to place where she knows me, and every suggestion she has is totally gay. Today it was, "Maybe we were in this class together where the professor grouped us by research, and we both chose GLBT issues." Now it's true that almost all of my MSW papers were on GLBT issues, but I was never in that class.
I just want to yell, "JUST COME OUT TO ME ALREADY, OKAY?!?!?!?"
La la la, cover day, la la la. 30 minutes to go. Everyone else on my team is out of the office, as far as I know. La la la, cover day.
I went to lunch today with Former Coworker Jennifer, who has to be one of THE funniest and craziest women I have ever met. She relayed this story to me wherein she discovered her then-boyfriend was sleeping with another woman. She dropped by her boyfriend's house and he was pulling on clothes and blocking the door, so Crazy Jennifer ducks under his arm and runs upstairs to catch The Other Woman putting on clothes. They get into an altercation, and Idiot Boyfriend tells them to leave, and then locks them both out of his house. Wherein TOW realizes she left her purse inside, so they start screaming at him to let her in to get her purse. So at one point, IB says he's going to call the police. Crazy Jennifer yells back (and no joke, she seriously said this, I have no doubt), "Don't call the police. Nothing's happened yet." She then proceeded to throw a citronella candle through one of his windows and yelled, "Okay, /now/ you can call the police." Holy crap on a cracker, when she told me that story in the Goody Boy today I lost all sense of social functioning. I laughed so freaking loud. Only Former Coworker Jennifer would do that. HA HA HA HA.
Okay, maybe it's funnier if you know her. But by God, I want to tell everyone this story and it's not even my story. La la la, cover day, la la la, I wonder if work has an Internet policy, la la la. Everybody now!
Suspected Lesbian Coworker came into my office again today throwing out random gay stuff. She is apparently trying to place where she knows me, and every suggestion she has is totally gay. Today it was, "Maybe we were in this class together where the professor grouped us by research, and we both chose GLBT issues." Now it's true that almost all of my MSW papers were on GLBT issues, but I was never in that class.
I just want to yell, "JUST COME OUT TO ME ALREADY, OKAY?!?!?!?"
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no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 01:40 pm (UTC)I love you Jude, you crack me up.
I have nothing to say, but I'm saying it anyway.
Date: 2003-11-06 02:05 pm (UTC)I mean, seriously. If I was gay, you are like, the LAST person on the planet I would hide it from, because, you are like, as Margaret Cho's mom says, THE gay.
You should totally go up to her and be all, "I wish you were gay, because if you were I would totally let you into my Super Sekrit Gay Club." And she'd be all, "But I -AM- gay!" And then you could be like, "I knew it! But I don't really have a club."
That would be cool.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 02:05 pm (UTC)As for your Alleged Lesbian Friend, you should be like: "Hey what's up? I find girls sexually attractive. Do you?" Bah ha ha.
Where have all the lesbians gone?
Date: 2003-11-06 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 03:26 pm (UTC)Re: I have nothing to say, but I'm saying it anyway.
Date: 2003-11-06 03:47 pm (UTC)Jude is gay??
no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 03:48 pm (UTC)*wipes tear from eye*
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Date: 2003-11-06 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 04:43 pm (UTC)Re: I have nothing to say, but I'm saying it anyway.
Date: 2003-11-06 04:47 pm (UTC)I don't think she's hiding anything, though. I mean, I haven't brought up Jen yet because it hasn't come up. We're too busy doing the Big Gay Name Drop. I checked out her office today and she had this little booklet about GLBT-friendly social services. La la la. DYKOLA.
You should totally go up to her and be all, "I wish you were gay, because if you were I would totally let you into my Super Sekrit Gay Club." And she'd be all, "But I -AM- gay!" And then you could be like, "I knew it! But I don't really have a club."
HAR HAR HAR, I totally should!
Re: I have nothing to say, but I'm saying it anyway.
Date: 2003-11-06 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 04:48 pm (UTC)As for your Alleged Lesbian Friend, you should be like: "Hey what's up? I find girls sexually attractive. Do you?" Bah ha ha.
Holy shit, I should totally say that tomorrow.
Re: Where have all the lesbians gone?
Date: 2003-11-06 04:49 pm (UTC)However, there is already a rainbow flag on my cork board and an equality sticker on my window in my office. :) (Which is how she started talking to me in the first place.)
no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 04:51 pm (UTC)Back atcha
no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 07:47 pm (UTC)Sorry I missed the Big Wine Drink-off at your house tonight! Maybe we can do Bucket of Nails sometime this weekend?
no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-08 06:54 am (UTC)