Marriage revisited
Nov. 20th, 2003 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpI just punched this out and made myself late for work, so I figured I would cut and paste it here for discussion:
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
galbraith said: Is it going to be called a "marriage?" Do you really want it to be?
You know, I had every intention of discussing this at length in my own journal, but I haven't had a heck of a lot of time. But I suppose I can make myself a little late for work to explain myself a LITTLE bit. :)
Whatever the roots of marriage were (and they could be religious, and they could be a tribal means of passing property, or whatever), that is not the marriage as we know it today. Some people (and maybe even a majority of people) equate "marriage" with church, but for a lot of people (and I would wager that number is growing), marriage is simply legal/civil. You can get married by Elvis, or your friend who registers on the internet, or a JP, and I would imagine that getting married in a drive-through chapel by Elvis does NOT go back to the roots of religious marriage.
Do these people go against the sanctity of marriage? Are these the people marriage needs to be "protected" from? It doesn't really matter what the answers to those questions are, because regardless, the people who got married by Elvis are able to enjoy the privileges and protections of marriage in the United States.
Yes, you can sit down with a lawyer and pay (estimate) $500 to draft a medical proxy and some other next-of-kin type forms (inheritance documents, etc.). You can go to court and pay (estimate again) $300 to change your name to your partner's. You can buy a home together and then go to the lawyer /again/ to draft papers about the nature of the joint purchase. You can try to find a corporation that will allow DP benefits, try to get a job there, get a job there, and offer health insurance to your partner. But you know what? If you go and get married, you get all of these things /immediately/ and /for free/.
And then there are lots of benefits that you're just not eligible for unless you are considered married. Pensions, social security, co-adoption, etc.
Another infuriating little tidbit (and I'm sorry my thoughts are sort of disjointed here) is the ease in which one can be considered married versus domestic partnered: You can go get a marriage license and take it to the JP and get married. Hell, the two people don't even have to /know/ each other. And they still immediately get access to the benefits. I could marry some homeless man next week and put him on my insurance. But to be considered a person in a domestic partnership (in order to get any benefits from a company that offers them), you have to /prove/ it.
I received notification from my dental insurance yesterday (Cigna, for the interested) that I could insure my domestic partner, as long as I could show several of the following things: joint ownership of a house or co-lease on same coupled with residence together of at least one year, joint ownership of a vehicle, joint bank account, or a host of other legal documents like wills or medical proxies. This may not seem like a big deal at first, except that you DO NOT NEED TO PROVE JACK TO GET BENEFITS IF YOU'RE MARRIED.
The only time you have to "prove" anything is to marry for immigration purposes. Heck, that homeless guy that I marry next week? We don't have to live together, we don't have to own a car, he doesn't have to be in my will, NOTHING. It just automatically happens.
That, my dear, as quickly as I could muster, is why the word "marriage" is so effing important.
galbraith said: Is it going to be called a "marriage?" Do you really want it to be?You know, I had every intention of discussing this at length in my own journal, but I haven't had a heck of a lot of time. But I suppose I can make myself a little late for work to explain myself a LITTLE bit. :)
Whatever the roots of marriage were (and they could be religious, and they could be a tribal means of passing property, or whatever), that is not the marriage as we know it today. Some people (and maybe even a majority of people) equate "marriage" with church, but for a lot of people (and I would wager that number is growing), marriage is simply legal/civil. You can get married by Elvis, or your friend who registers on the internet, or a JP, and I would imagine that getting married in a drive-through chapel by Elvis does NOT go back to the roots of religious marriage.
Do these people go against the sanctity of marriage? Are these the people marriage needs to be "protected" from? It doesn't really matter what the answers to those questions are, because regardless, the people who got married by Elvis are able to enjoy the privileges and protections of marriage in the United States.
Yes, you can sit down with a lawyer and pay (estimate) $500 to draft a medical proxy and some other next-of-kin type forms (inheritance documents, etc.). You can go to court and pay (estimate again) $300 to change your name to your partner's. You can buy a home together and then go to the lawyer /again/ to draft papers about the nature of the joint purchase. You can try to find a corporation that will allow DP benefits, try to get a job there, get a job there, and offer health insurance to your partner. But you know what? If you go and get married, you get all of these things /immediately/ and /for free/.
And then there are lots of benefits that you're just not eligible for unless you are considered married. Pensions, social security, co-adoption, etc.
Another infuriating little tidbit (and I'm sorry my thoughts are sort of disjointed here) is the ease in which one can be considered married versus domestic partnered: You can go get a marriage license and take it to the JP and get married. Hell, the two people don't even have to /know/ each other. And they still immediately get access to the benefits. I could marry some homeless man next week and put him on my insurance. But to be considered a person in a domestic partnership (in order to get any benefits from a company that offers them), you have to /prove/ it.
I received notification from my dental insurance yesterday (Cigna, for the interested) that I could insure my domestic partner, as long as I could show several of the following things: joint ownership of a house or co-lease on same coupled with residence together of at least one year, joint ownership of a vehicle, joint bank account, or a host of other legal documents like wills or medical proxies. This may not seem like a big deal at first, except that you DO NOT NEED TO PROVE JACK TO GET BENEFITS IF YOU'RE MARRIED.
The only time you have to "prove" anything is to marry for immigration purposes. Heck, that homeless guy that I marry next week? We don't have to live together, we don't have to own a car, he doesn't have to be in my will, NOTHING. It just automatically happens.
That, my dear, as quickly as I could muster, is why the word "marriage" is so effing important.
