Confessions

[judecorp]

I have two confessions to make. I'll start with the positive one first. It's the holiday season, after all.

1. While I am normally an avid snow-hater, I am enjoying today. I became an exceptionally avid snow-hater when I lived in Maine, but living in Cow Town has been good for a new, amicable relationship with snow. Why? Because it doesn't usually snow very much. This morning we were graced with some flurries that had left about half an inch of snow on everything. It was pretty and white without being a nuisance. On top of that, my road is less traveled so I was able to do a little skidding on my street (I love that!). On top of THAT, Jennifer cleaned off my car for me. Quel surprise! So, yeah. I confess. It's been flurrying on and off all day and I really like it.

2. I've been in one of those moods where you're trying /so/ /hard/ to be happy that when something a little 'off' happens, it breaks you and you're totally distraught. Like it shatters your thinly crafted bubble of composure. I don't know if it's because of the holidays or hormones or work or what, but I've been concentrating SO HARD on being happy and bouncy and joyous and positive and upbeat, when in actuality, I guess I'm not. At all. Every night this week, I've gone to bed upset about some thing or another, even though my mind knows the things haven't been so earth-shattering. Yeah. I think I need a shrink.

~//~

I've been trying so hard to be everyone's Joyous Little Elf, and then I come home and I'm just so on edge and drained. I have so much to do. I don't know where the money's going to come from. I'm telling people I will do things and then not being able to follow through. Add to that the fact that I have 476876936438754 holiday-type things to do this weekend /and/ I also happen to be On Call. Please pray/light candles/do whatever that there will be NO PLACEMENTS this weekend. Please, people, KEEP YOUR KIDS UNTIL MONDAY. Thank you.

So, umm, yeah. To recap:
1. Snow = pretty
2. Jennifer = pretty
3. Me = neurotic mess
4. Holidays = rushed
5. Time = not enough
6. Sex = DEAR GODS YES PLEASE

I need to get drunk, but alas, On Call. Phooey. Tonight: J-Doh's party. Tomorrow: crena and the kids during the day, laserkitty and thinksnow at night. Sunday: elspazz0 for lunch, holiday shopping for The Girl, collapse and die.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

*big hug*

I understand the neurotic mess thing. I was talking to a friend on the phone last night and I was telling her everything I've been anxious about. She responded by saying, "Gee, you sound like you're really sensitive right now."

And I just started crying. It's the holidays, it's stuff in me that has nothing to do with the holidays. It's.... complicated. I'm just glad I have an appointment with my shrink Monday. Praise whomever.

But I'm also grateful that I have good friends like the one I was talking to last night who see what's happening for me and don't judge it.

So I'd like to do the same for you. I understand.

Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. *mwah*

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

hey. I think many of us are feeling it these days, with the lack of sunlight and all. I've been more or less sleeping all the time. Very soon there will be lots more daylight, and lots less stress, as the new year begins. When I light my first night Hanukkah candles tonight, I will say a special little prayer for you. :) You'll be alright, though; I just know it.

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

aaagh! please dont eat me for lunch on Sunday! nooo

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

i just tried to burp into your voice mail and it totally didnt work and ended up sounding SO DUMB! then the minute i hung up i totally let one fly. LAME

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

u r tasty

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You big shnah. Pork it up some more and call back.

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

tee hee! this has a vague cyber-sex feel to it.

"ur 2. want 2 cyber?"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

a/s/l?

[calledmara.livejournal.com]

Miss Jude,
You are a joyous little elf by existing, so try and calm down and such so you can enjoy yourself as much as we do.

Also, I will probably be making more breadpudding tomorrow. I will bring some so you can replace your stress with cholesterol and fat. Yum. Be nice and share with yer lady this time.

PS. snow=evil

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

yay for liking snow! :)

it's flurrying here too and i enjoy it muchly

[iansha.livejournal.com]

I'll be your shrink, Dearest.
And for you, no charge.

*love*

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY DO NOT DIE!

I'm sorry you're not in the spirit. I'm not in the spirit either, just kind of tired. I'm also so behind on posts that I wonder if I should just give up and read from this point forward.

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

28, f, Columbus.

So - um - you like stuff?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but like, I mean, for real.

I dunno. It's starting to seem like a good idea.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Not that I don't think you're a good shrink.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yes. You should not stress yourself with posts.

p.s. We are excited to see you guys tomorrow! :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

and JUNK

Geez Whiz

[mythicalbeast.livejournal.com]

It's a good thing die is last, else there'd even less stuff getting done!

Though if croaking is a sure thing... doing it first would save on the whole stressage.

[iansha.livejournal.com]

No no, I understand. :)

[iansha.livejournal.com]

*nods* Maybe it is.

Re: Geez Whiz

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You raise very valid points, sir.

I shall have to think on that.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Hooray!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Bread pudding = yum!

Normally I agree with the snow=evil statement, but something about Friday made it okay. Maybe it was because it was Friday.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You're sweet. I can't wait for more daylight and less stress.

I hope you and your family have a very happy hanukkah.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope you're feeling better, sweetie. I'm almost done with the dreaded On Call, so the day is looking brighter just because of that. 20 more hours!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

Yay! I'm glad you're almost done. Here's to the end of stress and the beginning of a happy holiday. With any luck.... ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*crosses fingers*

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Mommy, I like this part of your recap:

1. Snow = pretty
2. Jennifer = pretty

It was cute. :) The other stuff is not so pretty, I mean good, and I am sad. But I know you will be so happy at Disney World. Our entire family is jealous of you, even my cousins! Ok. That's stretching it, but Tayler, Tyler, Scott and I are jealous.

I hope you have a wonderful time!

[underwatercolor.livejournal.com]

miao! :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yo.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You can tell your cousins TOUGH COOKIES!

However, what are your (you, Scott, Tayler and Tyler) favorite Disney characters? We will make sure to take goofy photos of them!

:)

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That would really be special!

I think the twins love any of the princesses so that's a safe bet. Other good ones include the boyfriend of the old lady in the Emperor's New Groove, or the Genie from Alladin.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I shall have to goose an unsuspecting princess or something. :)

I'm so excited!

EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!