judecorp: (mini me)
[personal profile] judecorp
When I left for college, my former stepsister gave me this stuffed cow that was wearing pink flowered pajamas. I named him "VampCow" because he had these bright red eyes, and therefore he reminded me of that Far Side cartoon "thwarting the VampCow." All through college, Vampy was my sidekick and he had many adventures. I took him to internet parties all over the country, I took him to summer camp, I took him everywhere. He spent a lot of quality time with [livejournal.com profile] lorac.

In 1995, I became good friends (and sometimes romantic-y friends) with my beloved Luke, and I spent a lot of time traveling to Boston to hang out with him. I always took Vampy, of course. One of the greatest things about Luke is that he has this amazing childlike quality about him, even though he's really big and pseudo-scary looking. So of course it would stand to reason that Luke would /also/ have a special stuffed animal... a worn-out panda bear that he'd had since infancy, named "Panoo" because when he was a little kid he couldn't say "panda." It would /also/ stand to reason that Panoo and Vampy would be friends, and when we would paint the town red, they would stay on the bed together. (Ooh la la!) I used to make this little voice for Vampy and make him say, "analingus" and he would make Panoo say, "Poopy butt fucker!" (Don't ask.)

Over the years, I've stopped bringing Vampy on my travels. (Awwwwh.) When Jennifer and I went to San Francisco and met up with Luke, he picked us up in his Checker, and when we climbed into the back seat, Panoo was belted in. I was so excited to see him, and I felt so bad that I hadn't brought Vampy. But I got to spend a quality day with Panoo, it was so awesome.

Yesterday I received a post card from Luke. He has decided to move to England, and was on a ferry bound for Ireland. Today I received a post card with a picture of a little cartoon panda on it. The postcard was addressed to "VampCow" at my address. It reads:
Dear Vampy,

How are you? I am fine. Except for the damp in England. Luke refuses to dry me out properly, what a bastard! Please enjoy the enclosed self-portrait. Come visit again soon. But tell that mean smurf girl to sod off.

Love, Panoo

p.s. Analingus!


Okay, tell me he's not the coolest thing ever. Go ahead. One of my biggest regrets ever was having some weird brain fart and treating him badly, way back when I was young. He is definitely one of the best friendships and relationships I've ever had. I <3 my Veggie!

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