Hint of summer
Mar. 28th, 2004 12:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpThe weather this evening was amazing, simply amazing. Jennifer and I were headed to Japanese Steakhouse for Peas's birthday, and we decided to walk instead of drive since it was so nice and because parking is a bitch around there. The walk took about 25-30 minutes and it was /so/ nice - cool, slightly humid, hinting summer. The great thing about my part of Columbus is that there are so many good, walkable things. So we walked, holding hands in the humid night, and it was really nice.
She and I really got into it early this afternoon, and I completely lost my shit. I get so frustrated sometimes when it seems like something I did a while ago (or have been doing for a while) has been a problem but I never heard about it. It's like I don't know what to do, because the "damage" has already been done so to speak. I beat myself up big-time when I find out that I'm doing something wrong. It's like I spend so much energy and thought trying to be the best possible partner, only to find that I'm really not that great. Where does that energy go? It's frustrating. Thankfully, she still wants to bother with me, which is really nice because she's such a teriffic person. Sometimes I think I'm really trying hard, but then I wonder if I'm trying at all, since I seem to screw up so much. It really eats at me because I've never wanted anything to work out quite as much as I want This to work out.
After Japanese Steakhouse, we got a ride home from Nikki and Eric and called Steve, as promised. He met us at Vic's for a rousing (unfinished) game of Phase 10. The worst folk guitarist ever had the stage for about an hour, and then Crazy Jeffrey did a montage of Rolling Stones covers while practically eating the microphone. Late Saturday nights at Vic's are certainly interesting. But it was an evening like old times, with multiple sets of plans. I like that.
Tomorrow I hope to catch some time on my bike before Steve and I take out the Harley. VROOOOOOM! When I move back home I'm going to make my daddy teach me to ride my motorcycle like he's always promised.
p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEAS!
She and I really got into it early this afternoon, and I completely lost my shit. I get so frustrated sometimes when it seems like something I did a while ago (or have been doing for a while) has been a problem but I never heard about it. It's like I don't know what to do, because the "damage" has already been done so to speak. I beat myself up big-time when I find out that I'm doing something wrong. It's like I spend so much energy and thought trying to be the best possible partner, only to find that I'm really not that great. Where does that energy go? It's frustrating. Thankfully, she still wants to bother with me, which is really nice because she's such a teriffic person. Sometimes I think I'm really trying hard, but then I wonder if I'm trying at all, since I seem to screw up so much. It really eats at me because I've never wanted anything to work out quite as much as I want This to work out.
After Japanese Steakhouse, we got a ride home from Nikki and Eric and called Steve, as promised. He met us at Vic's for a rousing (unfinished) game of Phase 10. The worst folk guitarist ever had the stage for about an hour, and then Crazy Jeffrey did a montage of Rolling Stones covers while practically eating the microphone. Late Saturday nights at Vic's are certainly interesting. But it was an evening like old times, with multiple sets of plans. I like that.
Tomorrow I hope to catch some time on my bike before Steve and I take out the Harley. VROOOOOOM! When I move back home I'm going to make my daddy teach me to ride my motorcycle like he's always promised.
p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEAS!
