1-2-3-4 Pressure!
Apr. 30th, 2004 02:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpThis week has been rough - big scratchy sandpaper rough. The weight of moving is firmly yoked about our necks and there really is no relief in sight, not now, not when there is so much to do and plan. There's a line that's crossed at about the month-mark, the line where dreaming becomes planning and thinking becomes reality. I'm sure ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kyoki_tenchi can relate.
My Jennifer is horribly stressed because she is concerned for her financial future. She had one reliable job lead (though at a pay cut) and it's turned out to be unreliable. Since she has the lion's share of the bills between us (we do share most things, but there are those pesky, pesky student loans), she's especially concerned. To be truthful, I think she's always concerned, but times of transition exacerbate this. I feel horrible about this, want to soothe her with platitudes and reassurances, but it's against my nature to offer such things. Instead we strategize, juggle.
The whole licensing hoopla really has me down because I'm basically trapped in a doom of my own making, something that is never pleasant. I keep beating myself up for sending a personal check. Granted, I have a tendency toward the self-critical, but I'm really going overboard lately because so much is hinging on this stuff. After all, license = job, job = money, money = apartment. We have to sign a lease by the time we get back and I'm paranoid that we won't find someone who will lease to two people with no jobs.
I'm not terribly excited about the possibility of the long-ass drive in the rain, either. We haven't been sleeping well (see above re: stress), so I don't know how we're going to manage to go a considerable distance tonight without exhaustion. Oh yeah, it's called caffiene. I hope we can keep this little pre-move excursion on the cheap.
Yesterday was a tough day for us all around. We woke up to unpleasantness that set the tone for the day and watched Survivor in near-silence. Stubbornness is unbecoming, even on my lovely face, and I sought solace in her lips. Instant electrification: the softness, the warmth, the fit, the comfort of familiarity. It was almost first-kiss-like in its intensity, its need, its longing. "Yes," I thought, "this is why we endure such temporary uglinesses."
kyoki_tenchi can relate.My Jennifer is horribly stressed because she is concerned for her financial future. She had one reliable job lead (though at a pay cut) and it's turned out to be unreliable. Since she has the lion's share of the bills between us (we do share most things, but there are those pesky, pesky student loans), she's especially concerned. To be truthful, I think she's always concerned, but times of transition exacerbate this. I feel horrible about this, want to soothe her with platitudes and reassurances, but it's against my nature to offer such things. Instead we strategize, juggle.
The whole licensing hoopla really has me down because I'm basically trapped in a doom of my own making, something that is never pleasant. I keep beating myself up for sending a personal check. Granted, I have a tendency toward the self-critical, but I'm really going overboard lately because so much is hinging on this stuff. After all, license = job, job = money, money = apartment. We have to sign a lease by the time we get back and I'm paranoid that we won't find someone who will lease to two people with no jobs.
I'm not terribly excited about the possibility of the long-ass drive in the rain, either. We haven't been sleeping well (see above re: stress), so I don't know how we're going to manage to go a considerable distance tonight without exhaustion. Oh yeah, it's called caffiene. I hope we can keep this little pre-move excursion on the cheap.
Yesterday was a tough day for us all around. We woke up to unpleasantness that set the tone for the day and watched Survivor in near-silence. Stubbornness is unbecoming, even on my lovely face, and I sought solace in her lips. Instant electrification: the softness, the warmth, the fit, the comfort of familiarity. It was almost first-kiss-like in its intensity, its need, its longing. "Yes," I thought, "this is why we endure such temporary uglinesses."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
no subject
Date: 2004-05-09 11:02 pm (UTC)I'm really happy for you guys, I know you don't know me very well, but I really look up to the two of you for having such a wonderful relationship and really being dedicated to it.
All my good luck wishes...and congrats on the apartment, it's breathtaking.
:)
no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 08:37 pm (UTC)Most of the time, I know that we are very lucky to have each other and we work very well together. Those moments when we are not clicking totally devastate me, because I know how good it can be. I really need to learn how not to beat myself up whenever we have a disagreement. I hope that comes with time.
Thanks again.