Is it really Sunday night already?

[judecorp]

I really wish I had some sort of pill I could take so that I didn't care about a bunch of stuff. Like, that I didn't care that I don't like my job, even though I keep trying to and keep pretending that I do. It's a great facade until someone actually starts asking me questions about it, and then I just feel all dejected. Ugh. I am /so/ not a good fit for this job. I know you need to "give things time" or whatever, but it's been a month and I still feel all wrong.

Yet I will still plod away, and dream of a distant land full of gay jobs, affordable housing, and a baby for me and my smoochie.

Comments

[exceptnot.livejournal.com]

a pill called zoloft can do that.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It will make me like my job?

[exceptnot.livejournal.com]

well when i took it back in college... hmm it made me not care. it separated my emotions from myself

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't know how good that sounds...

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

¤hands you crack¤

i feel the same way sort of. but right now i don't need any ominous force to fire me so that get ANOTHER job because i need this one right now so friggin' much. but i'm TOTALLY there with you on the whole uncertainty aspect

[gimmeapony.livejournal.com]

Screw giving it time. I mean, obviously right now you need to hang onto your job in order to pay the bills and whatnot, but if I were you, I'd be looking for another job on the side. It would be one thing if you felt like you were in over your head in a job that you thought you really wanted to get good at, but you said yourself that this isn't even really the field that you want to be working in.
You may have to plod away at it for now, but I'm SURE there's something else in this city that would be a better fit for you so I think you should keep looking! *smooch*

[cranapril.livejournal.com]

Vitamin Z definitely can give you the feeling of not caring. It kind of holds back your emotional responses, so that you can avoid 'highs' and 'lows' all the time.

But there are also other choices out there... and I've tried most of them!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ha! But which one do you like the best?

Honestly, I'd like the "job I like more" pill, please. Or the "enough money to do fun things" pill, which we will get eventually I'm sure.

[cranapril.livejournal.com]

I didn't do well on Zoloft. Too many headaches, and lots of crying jags every now and then. Paxil made me feel like a zombie. No emotions whatsoever. Prozac got me very hyped up. I was exercising like a crazy woman... and losing weight before Lorac's wedding, too... but the headaches weren't good for me. I have bad luck with the SSRI's because of the side effects. Headaches, low sexual desire (which sucked rocks) and weight issues. Wellbutrin didn't work for me. I was bouncing back and forth from crying to way too happy and excitable. Heart would pound. Some of these are better for panic attacks, as well. Also, some OCD tendencies can be controlled by some of the antidepressants. I've tried Lexapro, which I had to keep upping the dose to crazy levels every few weeks. Now I'm taking Effexor... I'm still yanking out my eyelashes... I have good days where I can clean and get things done, and I have not so good days, where I can't get errands done, can't get out of the house, can't get dressed. Emotionally, I'm better, but energy levels have really been fluctuating.

I see my doctor every two months for rechecks. And I'm sure I've left a few out. I was fine before the Pope was born, then things got rough for a while while I was finishing up my degree. Teaching got me back onto the meds... and off again when the bundle arrived... things have been rocky with all of the moving, and family issues and such.

I know way too much about all these meds. Blah.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, crack! Stays crunchy even in milk!

Have you had any luck looking for jobs on the side?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I am still looking for jobs on the side, though I'm no longer applying for every job I see - just the ones I think I'd really like to have. After all, it doesn't make much sense to leave one job I don't like for another, right?

The problem is that if/when I get called for these jobs, I may run into that 'unable to interview' situation again which was SO frustrating and heartbreaking. Although I think I almost have an entire sick day now, so THAT'S something to consider. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Wow - you really HAVE tried a lot of them!

I have never taken any kind of medication. At all. Except I took birth control pills for a couple of years and had really bad reactions to them in terms of sex drive, emotional state, and other things.

I don't really consider myself a depressed person but I definitely can get anxious. I think I just have a smaller window of acceptable stimuli, and once I go over, then everything becomes too much. Aaah, that's life for ya, right?

I don't know if I really want a pill to take every day, but sometimes it seems like a good idea. :)