Hip Mama

[judecorp]

So I went to my first-ever baby shower today. I drove up to New Hampshire and I envisioned this totally relaxing car ride, but of course it was pouring rain so that didn't happen. I got there about 15-20 minutes late and was still the first one there. I AM SO LAME. :)

Also, I guess I am totally in the minority as someone who aspires to being a totally fruity hippie mama someday. Amongst all the talk about diapers and bottles and binkies, I started to feel like my desire to cloth diaper, breastfeed, and avoid binkies if at all possible are either very ancient or very progressive. I dunno, it's just what I want to do! Someday, SOMEDAY, there will be a baby shower for /us/. I can't wait. Shani was talking about how in five years she wants to start thinking about this stuff and I just wanted to whine and whine, because idealistically I'd love to think about this stuff /tomorrow/.

I just want it all soooooooo much. ARGH!

Comments

[siercia]

Nah, you're not alone in the hippie mama camp - that was a particularly non-hippie group. I wanted to cloth diaper, but couldn't find a diaper service, and didn't have the stamina to wash my own. Binkies, well, Widget would never take one for mare than a minute so they were mostly useless in our house, even if we'd wanted them. Widget would only be happy with a finger from one of us until she got the motor control to find her own thumb.

The breastfeeding conversation made me want to rip my hair out.

re: binkies

[etherial.livejournal.com]

I don't see why binkies would be a bad thing. As for teh cloth, you go girl!

Re: binkies

[mayna.livejournal.com]

I always hate seeing 3 year olds with binkies constantly in their mouths. Of course my daughter's constantly got her thumb in her mouth, which equates to the same thing. But the difference is, the binky falls out/gets lost... the thumb doesn't. I dunno, I don't like either, but it's hard to stop thumb sucking.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I seriously think that sometimes I live in this fantasy world of my own thoughts, and in this fantasy world, everyone thinks like I do. I know it's terribly arrogant, but I've always been like this. I'm always so surprised when I'm in situations where people totally don't think like me at all. (I'm damaged, I know!)

But yeah, I seriously never thought I would hear liberal (I'm assuming), progressive women talking about how breastfeeders need to be discreet and how uncomfortable it makes them, EVEN THE PERSON WHO HAS BREASTFED. I was floored. In my fantasy world, breastfeeding in public is no big thing.

(That makes me think of a time in conversation when someone told someone else that she should breastfeed in public bathrooms. GROSS. Would you give your child lunch in a bathroom? Yuck!)

I think it would take a test of stamina to begin washing my own poopy diapers, but I'd like to do it. After all, poopy diapers are gross even if you're just throwing them out, so rinsing them can't be that bad. But I just can't justify filling a landfill with 786879687238 diapers, especially when they don't ever biodegrade. Also, modern disposable diapers are so good at "keeping baby dry" that babies/toddlers have a hard time recognizing they're wet, which can make potty training challenging. And don't get me started on the Pull-Ups market!

Heh, at least today I had the foresight to know that this was a great time for me to keep my mouth shut. :) (Except for that part where I muttered to Shani, "So many binkies! That's why god made fingers!" Hee.)

p.s. It was really nice to see you today! I hope Hannah didn't drive you mad with the songs we taught her this afternoon.

Re: binkies

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I just don't really like them. I don't like the idea that some kids really feel like they /need/ their binkies and can't calm themselves without them. (That's not always true, of course.) I think kids need to learn self-calming skills, and I also hate seeing preschool-aged children still hanging on to binkies.

Then again, I was obsessed with my blanket until I was like 7, so what do I know? ;)

Re: binkies

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hate seeing big kids with binkies, too! Ugh.

[siercia]

Heh. I do that same thing, thinking everyone thinks the way I do. It probably is arrogant, but I'm always so astouded when it gets thrown in my face.

And DUDE, the whole "discreet" breastfeeding thing just seems so dumb. THEY'RE JUST BREASTS, PEOPLE. Hell, I whipped mine out in the middle of LL Bean in Freeport to feed Widget. I don't think I have any friends that haven't seen my nipples at this point. Big fat hairy deal.

And it wasn't the rinsing of the diapers that stopped me (since you have to do that with a service too), but the sheer amount / frequency of laundry. And issues like the energy used to do the wash, the water used and that using zinc-based diaper creams (the only ones I've seen work well, IMHO) means you're dumping zinc out with your waste water make disposables seem not SO bad (look at me make excuses!). I didn't find the potty training to be that much harder - we just switched to panties one day after some prepwork, had two accidents and then were done.

And fingers are great until you're driving alone in the car with a kidlet that wants one =). But hey, it's what we did.

Lovely to see you too!

[happy2beso.livejournal.com]

I don't mind if you breastfeed in front of me.

[being-homeless.livejournal.com]

please don't give me babylust.
thanks.

my foot has a burning sensation in the arch

[therewaslight.livejournal.com]

I know exactly when I'm ovulating. Physical symptoms galore. Leads me to believe a. I'm highly fertile and b. it's going to be easy for me to get knocked up whenever I decide to have children. Every month, though, even if I'm only 22, I have severe biological clock CLANGINGS. I used to despise children, probably a product of waiting tables and having to deal with bad kids of bad parents. I've since learned to focus on the actual child and ignore the parents' bad skills, and I've discovered that almost all children are amazing. Of course, I've always told myself "My kid will be different" whenever I see some little brat screaming. I cannot wait to breastfeed. I cannot wait to use natural diapers (until I'm tired of puking up my lunch because I know I cannot stand the smell of excrement). I'm going to puree my own baby food and all that organic crap (until I lose my patience and run out of time). I can't decide if I want to put my little girl in ballet or soccer (or both). I have no idea what the hell I'll do with a boy, so I pray my partner in this child process will have a clue. What would you like your children to do? Do you see them looking a particular way? Which do you consider an easier prospect - adoption or insemination? And uh, what does Jennifer think about these baby cravings of yours?

Have you thought of names? have names picked out. I have one reserved in case I ever have children with a very special girl we both know. Piper Grace. Completely stolen from a kid I know by that name. But it's so damn cute!

Re: binkies

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

i hate seeing kids with binkies, too, although it was a LIFESAVER in the first few months with fisher. i'm just lucky enough that he decided at 6 months he was DONE.

you're just the motor

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

i love how you make your girlfriend's biological clock tick FOR her! it's so cute :)

Re: binkies

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Hooray! Let's hope he keeps it up! :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Is it because you want to see my nipples?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't know how true it is, but I've heard from many sources that girls are easier to potty train than boys. Regardless, thankfully Widget was a pretty easy potty trainer! (Then again, she is positively brilliant and has great parents.)

And I see your excuse point about the zinc in the water. I'd never thought of that. I do know, though, that my friend who exclusively used cloth diapers on her kid experienced like one diaper rash total (IIRC). I think if you can find a good (smell-proof) container so that you can store a /lot/ of used diapers so that you can do a large load of laundry, it probably doesn't impact too much. One load a week maybe? Considering all of the extra laundry you're already doing when you have a baby (thanks to the wonders of spit up and diaper leaks), it doesn't seem like much.

(I'm not quite crunchy enough to wash them by hand, ha ha.)

But yes, I absolutely and totally agree with you on the breastfeeding thing. I really have never seen any breastfeeding woman "whip her boob out for everyone to see" or whatever, but if I catch a glimpse of boob when she is lifting up her shirt, aah well.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am sharing the wealth!

Re: my foot has a burning sensation in the arch

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Piper Grace /is/ a cute name, and I remember commenting such to you /and/ said girl. ;)

My Jennifer is quite well aware of my baby obsession. In fact, it's probably the one thing I whine about more than all others (and I whine a lot!). She also wants a family, and wants to start sooner than later. I think it would be easier for her to put it off for a couple of years than it is for me, but she still has The Want. Which is good. She also wants to physically have a child of her own, and wants to do so before she is 35, so we need to start planning, yo! (And in a perfect world, I'd want her to have my brother's baby - by insem, not the big nasty - but I doubt that's realistic.) I also want to adopt (Jen wants me to have a baby, I think, but respects my decision not to. And who knows, maybe someday I will decide that the bazillion dollars I would need to spend on fertility treatments and the ensuing heartache would be worth the trade-off of a biokid.), and she is totally okay with that as well. And I'd love to be a foster parent, given the opportunity.

As for names, we've chatted on it on occasion and don't often agree on names so much. She is all about the old Celtic names and I just have bad experiences with some of them. I'm a big fan of the name Jackson (for a boy) and Ryan (for a girl), but that could change tomorrow. I'm just like that.

Re: you're just the motor

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm not /making/ it tick, I'm just giving it a little jumpstart! ;)

Re: bazillion dollars versus adoption

[etherial.livejournal.com]

You are so sane. The world would be so much better with more sane people like you.

Re: bazillion dollars versus adoption

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Do not trust this "sanity," for it is entirely text-based. ;)

[ladyleo.livejournal.com]

You are nto alone in the worls with those ideas. dch4 knows I want ta "less cluttered" way of bringing up baby. NY idea is to to breastfeed to one year...clot diapers when at all possible, and I have never been a fan of the binkie (maybe it's cause I think there is *one* picture of me as a little one with it in my mouth.

Babywant here too, we need to get ahead and completely settled before it happenes. (me and my peanut, my youngest niece in the icon, it's so funny to see dch4 playing when the fam comes to visit:) )

Re: my foot has a burning sensation in the arch

[therewaslight.livejournal.com]

One of the girls at the Green Hills branch of my store is named "Ryanne" but it's pronounced "Ryan." I like it.

Re: my foot has a burning sensation in the arch

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think "Ryanne" would be a little too girly for us. ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I believe we should all get settled and make babies pronto. I am quite impatient about this, as you can tell. Get that boy in gear and tell him to prepare for some babies! ;)

[jadefu.livejournal.com]

You want a true hippie? You should meet my neighbor. She believes even cloth diapers aren't good for the environment, because of all the water & detergent spent having to wash them, so she's using NO diapers.

Yes, really.

She says "They do it in third world counties!"

You don't really know hippies until you've been to western Mass. :)

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

I second that you were just with a non-hippie group.

I was rather cranky that Laurel was given a pacifier at the hospital, but it wasn't too bad to wean her off it after two months. (She occasionally sucks on her fingers at bedtime, but it's rare. I am very proud of her.) We didn't cloth diaper because we couldn't afford a washer until she was ~8 months old, but I've started stocking up on diapers and covers -- I tell myself it's in case my sister wants to when she starts having kids, but they're really for me. I've got babylust something fierce and I'm finally in a situation where I can indulge it in the not-too-distant future, so that's what's keeping it from driving me nuts.

When you guys have a baby shower, I want to organize a quilt where everyone contributes a block. And also give you baby-sized huaraches, because I bought some in Mexico and they're so so cute!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yowch. Okay, you win.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to have a baby shower! I could DIE of longing!!!