Sometimes you just want to go back to bed, wake up again, and have a do-over. This is one of those days. Let's pretend, first of all, that it didn't go from beautiful to COLD overnight. Brr. But aside from that...
binkiegirl was supposed to come over this morning and go to church with me, but she fell back asleep and didn't get a chance to. She spent the rest of the morning making cheesecakes (yum!) and waiting for
dietbubba to come back from his parents' place, so I didn't see her. Boo.
I did some homework, which is always exciting, let me tell you. Then I set up cell phone service for the phone that Bink gave me. But it's not working. It won't let me make calls, and of course the people at SprintPCS say there's something wrong with the phone, that everything's fine on their end, and the phone is broken. The phone worked a couple of days ago. But regardless - now I need to go to a SprintPCS store because they have some machine that checks if it's the phone. I have to do this tomorrow, because Monday morning between 10 and 11am is my only block of time all week where I am free during business hours. So I will go. If they say the phone isn't working, I'll have to plead with them to cancel the service, because I can't afford to buy a phone. Phooey.
Then, of course, there's this war thing. That is affecting me in very visceral, tangible ways and unfortunately, I have no one to share it with. I could really use some face time with someone I care about (and who cares about me back, that would be cool), but all I have is an apartment with the estranged spouse who was supposed to vacuum today. I just did it. Whatever.
I suppose I should be doing more homework, like the last several weeks' worth, but my mind isn't in it. My mind is wondering what we're bombing, and if people are dying, and if it's going to perpetuate the cycle of retaliation and hatred and pain and suffering and alienation and fanaticism. Violence begets violence. I'm starting to think I'm the only person who believes this.
There are people who have much greater problems than I do. I know this. But that doesn't change the fact that right now, I could really use someone's fingers in my hair, or someone's nails on the back of my neck... and I don't even have the ability to use the 8 billion night/weekend minutes I am currently wasting with no phone. It seems wrong in some way to use my land line and make pay calls when I'm already being billed for minutes I can't use.
I can't believe I'm looking forward to Monday. Ugh.
I did some homework, which is always exciting, let me tell you. Then I set up cell phone service for the phone that Bink gave me. But it's not working. It won't let me make calls, and of course the people at SprintPCS say there's something wrong with the phone, that everything's fine on their end, and the phone is broken. The phone worked a couple of days ago. But regardless - now I need to go to a SprintPCS store because they have some machine that checks if it's the phone. I have to do this tomorrow, because Monday morning between 10 and 11am is my only block of time all week where I am free during business hours. So I will go. If they say the phone isn't working, I'll have to plead with them to cancel the service, because I can't afford to buy a phone. Phooey.
Then, of course, there's this war thing. That is affecting me in very visceral, tangible ways and unfortunately, I have no one to share it with. I could really use some face time with someone I care about (and who cares about me back, that would be cool), but all I have is an apartment with the estranged spouse who was supposed to vacuum today. I just did it. Whatever.
I suppose I should be doing more homework, like the last several weeks' worth, but my mind isn't in it. My mind is wondering what we're bombing, and if people are dying, and if it's going to perpetuate the cycle of retaliation and hatred and pain and suffering and alienation and fanaticism. Violence begets violence. I'm starting to think I'm the only person who believes this.
There are people who have much greater problems than I do. I know this. But that doesn't change the fact that right now, I could really use someone's fingers in my hair, or someone's nails on the back of my neck... and I don't even have the ability to use the 8 billion night/weekend minutes I am currently wasting with no phone. It seems wrong in some way to use my land line and make pay calls when I'm already being billed for minutes I can't use.
I can't believe I'm looking forward to Monday. Ugh.
no subject
Date: 2001-10-07 06:57 pm (UTC)Sometimes we just need a little comfort - it doesn't mean we think we're worse off than others...we just have different reactions and desires at different times. No need to apologize. I'd offer (in a platonic way, of course *wink*) but for the distance...
no subject
Date: 2001-10-07 07:11 pm (UTC)Thanks for the words of comfort and stuff. You're good people.
Eternal circles of death
Date: 2001-10-08 12:03 am (UTC)You're definitely not the only one. I just don't talk about it because t refuses to listen on this subject, which is kind of hard but he knows how upset it makes me so he won't even let me go there.
But yes, the whole thing really, really disturbs me.
Re: Eternal circles of death
Date: 2001-10-08 06:04 am (UTC)*HUGS* to you. If there are two of us, there have to be more. I don't know how the radio and newspapers can report something like 95% of people supporting what's going on... it makes me wonder not only whether the other peace-loving people are voting (or being polled), and where those 5% are, so I can find them.
Re: Eternal circles of death
Date: 2001-10-08 06:16 am (UTC)I am debating going, but am in pain so I don't know that I will survive that long before needing to go home :(
Re: Eternal circles of death
Date: 2001-10-08 06:24 am (UTC)But still... it really does seem like all of the US is rallying behing those awful 'Wanted: Dead' Osama bin Laden tshirts and talking about KILL KILL KILL and blowing Afghanistan to smithereens.
Sigh. Hang in there, kid. Work's almost over for you. I don't go in for another 2 hours.
Re: Eternal circles of death
Date: 2001-10-08 06:42 am (UTC)There are more of you out there.