AP in EI?

[judecorp]

I continue to be fascinated by the beliefs of most of the people I work with. We're folks who spend all of our professional lives with babies and toddlers, yet they continue to balk at things like extended nursing, nursing on demand, time in rather than time out, and co-sleeping. My colleagues talk about these things like they are ridiculous and the parents are crazy. It drives ME crazy!

Today one of my coworkers was reading one of my assessment reports where I wrote that the child was fussing because he wanted to nurse. She said the following statements in order: Nurse? Nurse from Mom? On her breast? But he's 2 1/2! You're not shocked? You think it's okay? Don't you think it's weird?

I have three families on my current caseload that nurse toddlers over two, one of whom co-sleeps. All I can say is, I'm glad they're on MY caseload!

Comments

[mayna.livejournal.com]

I love you Jude.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awwh, I love you, too.

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

"Nurse? Nurse from Mom? On her breast?"

I hope you replied,
"No. On her ass."

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I was too busy trying to do 9809438 other things for work (I'm sure you can relate) to be properly smartassed.

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

what's the appropraite age to wean children off?

[siercia]

Mainstream wisdom generally says by age 1, or generally when they're getting the main of their nourishment from food as opposed to breastmilk or formula.

Breast feeding advocates recommend letting kids self wean, which generally means until the kids decide they're no longer interested - which can be anywhere from 2 to 4+ years old. Once the kids pass 1 1/2 years or so, the nursing relationship is generally more about comfort and closeness than it is nutrition.

[michael622.livejournal.com]

What is co-sleeping?

[etherial.livejournal.com]

sleeping in the same bed. very convenient for nursing.

IF ever

[salisya.livejournal.com]

If ever I am in that situation, i hope I have someone like you as my caseworker!

Signed a happily nursing and co sleeping momma of a almost 3 year old.

Re: IF ever

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I would hope that my coworkers are professional enough to do quality work without passing judgment, regardless of their particular philosophies. But it's so touch and go when it comes to raising kids, it's hard.

[afullmoon.livejournal.com]

I am so happy you have them. I would hate for them to stop because of other people's thoughts. Super Jude to the rescue saving one child at a time from close minded people!!!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Heh, if only I had any REAL power. ;)

[eight.livejournal.com]

I think the real issue is ensuring that your coworkers don't share their personal opinions with the families they serve ... It's okay to have differing opinions from your clients, as long as they don't factor into the services you provide, eh?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Of course! Raising kids is such a personal and cultural thing, I would hope that all professionals would respect all differences, regardless of personal philosophies. I just get nervous because a lot of my coworkers are not therapists/human services workers by training, but rather specialty therapists (OTs, PTs, SLPs, etc.). Although everyone I work with that I know well is exceedingly professional, which is good.

[buddhafly4224.livejournal.com]

i really must say... as a preschool teacher who works with 1 and 2 year olds daily, my experience has proved that nursing past 1 (latest) can really have detrimental affects on a child. i totally agree that it can provide an aspect of closness with the mother, but there is no reason a child, at two, should not be drinking out of a cup (maybe a sippy cup. nursing and/or bottle feeding causes a child to have bad teeth, to drool, and can impair speech. the one girl in my class who's mother has chosen to nurse her has late speech dev. and she drools excessively, which she should be completely beyond. she also bites. i feel this also causes a child to be held back from peers socially. in my opinion, there are plenty of other ways to have closeness with your child. if they want to feel body contact while eating, sit them in your lap with a drink and read them a book. try to see it from others' prospective as well.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Okay, hold up...

First of all, extended nursing doesn't cause any of those things you mention. Sometimes, poor parenting choices do. There is nothing that states that children who continue to comfort nurse cannot use a sippy cup or an open cup if they are exposed to them. Kids drink lots of things, like juice or water or whatever, that don't come from the boob. Instant learning opportunities. And "bottle mouth" is caused by poor dental hygiene, not nursing.

Drooling can be caused by a number of factors, including weak oral-motor skills, teething, overactive salivary glands, etc. (but tends to be the former). Nursing doesn't make you drool.

Nursing does not impair speech. I don't really see how expressive language development can be hindered by comfort nursing. Oh sure, when you have a boob in your mouth you can't really do a lot of talking, but the same goes for a hamburger. Speech delays can be caused by so many factors: weak oral-motor skills, troubles with motor planning, hearing loss, lack of language stimulation, brain damage, delayed cognitive skills, autism spectrum disorders, etc.

I also don't see how extended nursing causes social delays. Children learn social skills through interaction with other people and children, and unless you're nursing 24/7, you can still have lots of exposure to other people. Oppositely, extended nursing helps to establish a strong mother-child bond, and it is this stable bond that becomes the foundation and basis for all further social interactions.

It sounds like you have a bad experience with a particular child (or children) who have a number of things going on and also nurse. It's possible that these other things are related to parental strategies or actions that also include nursing, but occasional nursing does not cause these concerns.

My professional life is spent working with infants and toddlers with developmental delays. Some of the kids nurse, I would say 85% (or more) do not.

[buddhafly4224.livejournal.com]

i was certainly not inferring that nursing an infant (or child in some cases it seems) causes the developmental delays you are working with. i, too, work with children who experience developmental delays, and have an excellent basis for comparison. nursing can, in fact, cause social delays. if a mother choses to wean her child past the age of one year, the child is likely to be more attached to the breast and less likely to give it up. this can and in most cases, does, cause separation anxiety for the child which affects them in other areas of life, especially socialization. maybe i wasn't clear about the "bad teeth" thing, but once a child has grown their teeth in, it is absolutely better for them to be drinking out of things that wont cause their teeth to grow in a certain way. at two, if you want a kid to get used to drinking out of a regular cup, they shouldn't be breast feeding at the same time. children go through stages in dev. and drinking out of a cup or juice box and then getting breast fed can be considered a regression. once a child has teeth and is used to suckling on a mother's breast, he or she is more apt to put their teeth on another child (i.e. bite!) and i've never read the drooling thing anywhere, but in each child i've seen still breast feeding, there is a drooling issue. i'm not completely advocating not breast feeding past a certain age for all, because we all have our own beliefs. i'm just letting you know my point of view, because it seems like you couldn't understand why anyone would think it wasn't okay.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I can certainly respect anyone's parenting choices as long as children's health and well-being isn't compromised. And I am actually a lot more lax/laid back than a lot of people when it comes to that fine line of what is "best" for kids and what is "good enough," which is how I end up with a lot of the heavily environmentally-involved kids. Like I said, the vast majority of my families don't nurse at all and have never, and it's not like I berate them for not breastfeeding even though it's a far superior health choice for infants.

I'm really sorry that all of the extended nursed kids you've met are droolers. That's really bizarre. I don't know any droolers, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. The crooked teeth thing is an interesting point, because I've seen a lot of crooked teeth from thumb sucking and pacifier use, but not from boobs. Especially thumb sucking in terms of total palate-shape change and stuff.

I respectfully disagree that using sippy and open cups most of the time and a breast some of the time is regression. I personally don't feel that it's regression unless the child actually loses the more advanced skill, and I've never seen that happen. Most kids that continue to nurse past one (also kids that continue to get bottles past one - that's pretty cultural, lots of asian families [big in dorchester] give kids bottles well into toddlerhood and there are also many families that wean kids from bottles all day but then give a bottle of milk at night) use sippy/open cups throughout the day for fluid intake and at meals, so the skills are definitely there. Kids are developing the skills to use straws so early these days that it's almost silly to talk about straws - it seems like they can all do it. I haven't figured out why.

I could understand people's alarm if a child was an older toddler and was exclusively breastfeeding, because I personally think that a child who has teeth should be using them to chew food and move it around. But I really don't see what some nursing from time to time is really going to hurt.

I can see where one could worry that a child who is nursing might have a harder time separating from mommy because they would want the breast at certain points during the day, especially during stress. However, I think that said child, once in a situation where s/he would have to do so, would begin to develop self-soothing strategies just like other children. After all, lots of kids have separation anxiety, and every child has a tough time separating from their primary caregiver when they are first learning to do so. I still don't see how having a close bond with a parent hinders socialization, though.

Many proponents of extended nursing support child-led weaning (stopping nursing when the child decides to stop). Most children self-wean during toddlerhood, though there are certainly some that continue to enjoy this part of their relationship for a longer time. I haven't found any empirical studies yet that show any harm in this.

I haven't noticed that children who have teeth and breastfeed are more apt to bite other children. I would think it would be the opposite, since a nursing child with teeth has to learn how to latch and suck /without/ biting and hurting mommy, but if you can find some sort of study or information to the opposite I would love to read it. I am not doubting your personal observations, I'm just wondering how they extrapolate to the larger population of toddlers (nursing and non-nursing) out there.