AP in EI?

[judecorp]

I continue to be fascinated by the beliefs of most of the people I work with. We're folks who spend all of our professional lives with babies and toddlers, yet they continue to balk at things like extended nursing, nursing on demand, time in rather than time out, and co-sleeping. My colleagues talk about these things like they are ridiculous and the parents are crazy. It drives ME crazy!

Today one of my coworkers was reading one of my assessment reports where I wrote that the child was fussing because he wanted to nurse. She said the following statements in order: Nurse? Nurse from Mom? On her breast? But he's 2 1/2! You're not shocked? You think it's okay? Don't you think it's weird?

I have three families on my current caseload that nurse toddlers over two, one of whom co-sleeps. All I can say is, I'm glad they're on MY caseload!

Comments

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I can certainly respect anyone's parenting choices as long as children's health and well-being isn't compromised. And I am actually a lot more lax/laid back than a lot of people when it comes to that fine line of what is "best" for kids and what is "good enough," which is how I end up with a lot of the heavily environmentally-involved kids. Like I said, the vast majority of my families don't nurse at all and have never, and it's not like I berate them for not breastfeeding even though it's a far superior health choice for infants.

I'm really sorry that all of the extended nursed kids you've met are droolers. That's really bizarre. I don't know any droolers, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. The crooked teeth thing is an interesting point, because I've seen a lot of crooked teeth from thumb sucking and pacifier use, but not from boobs. Especially thumb sucking in terms of total palate-shape change and stuff.

I respectfully disagree that using sippy and open cups most of the time and a breast some of the time is regression. I personally don't feel that it's regression unless the child actually loses the more advanced skill, and I've never seen that happen. Most kids that continue to nurse past one (also kids that continue to get bottles past one - that's pretty cultural, lots of asian families [big in dorchester] give kids bottles well into toddlerhood and there are also many families that wean kids from bottles all day but then give a bottle of milk at night) use sippy/open cups throughout the day for fluid intake and at meals, so the skills are definitely there. Kids are developing the skills to use straws so early these days that it's almost silly to talk about straws - it seems like they can all do it. I haven't figured out why.

I could understand people's alarm if a child was an older toddler and was exclusively breastfeeding, because I personally think that a child who has teeth should be using them to chew food and move it around. But I really don't see what some nursing from time to time is really going to hurt.

I can see where one could worry that a child who is nursing might have a harder time separating from mommy because they would want the breast at certain points during the day, especially during stress. However, I think that said child, once in a situation where s/he would have to do so, would begin to develop self-soothing strategies just like other children. After all, lots of kids have separation anxiety, and every child has a tough time separating from their primary caregiver when they are first learning to do so. I still don't see how having a close bond with a parent hinders socialization, though.

Many proponents of extended nursing support child-led weaning (stopping nursing when the child decides to stop). Most children self-wean during toddlerhood, though there are certainly some that continue to enjoy this part of their relationship for a longer time. I haven't found any empirical studies yet that show any harm in this.

I haven't noticed that children who have teeth and breastfeed are more apt to bite other children. I would think it would be the opposite, since a nursing child with teeth has to learn how to latch and suck /without/ biting and hurting mommy, but if you can find some sort of study or information to the opposite I would love to read it. I am not doubting your personal observations, I'm just wondering how they extrapolate to the larger population of toddlers (nursing and non-nursing) out there.