I've thought about this too. There've been a few times and places (yeah, college was a notable one for me too) where I had a group of friends where there was really a lot of spontaneity and just random hanging out. I have great friends now, but it seems like we only do planned things. I've also thought this might be a Boston thing, because it's just the norm here to go out to eat, go out shopping, maybe go out for a walk or something, but none of my various groups of friends here tend to just hang out for no particular reason. Or is it that I'm getting old and this is just what people do at this age? Who knows. I guess that this part of evolving and changing friendships I can deal with. The part I CAN'T deal with is the (fortunately very few) friends who all of the sudden morphed into the married-and-popping-out-kids life and can't find a place for me and my life in that, and frankly don't seem to want to. My friends are about half single/kidless and about half partnered and/or kidded, and we all hang out and it's cool. But there are a few who suddenly ditched me and started going exclusively to couples events (when I was single, and who haven't invited me back in, not that I'd want in at this point), or who would never dream of taking the kiddo anywhere other than to a kid-specific location, only welcoming friends who also are bringing kids. I much prefer the confusing strange world of morphing friendship styles to the OMG I GOTTA GO BE A MARRIED ADULT WITH 2.5 KIDS RIGHT THIS INSTANT shift.
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Date: 2005-11-07 10:33 pm (UTC)I've thought about this too. There've been a few times and places (yeah, college was a notable one for me too) where I had a group of friends where there was really a lot of spontaneity and just random hanging out. I have great friends now, but it seems like we only do planned things. I've also thought this might be a Boston thing, because it's just the norm here to go out to eat, go out shopping, maybe go out for a walk or something, but none of my various groups of friends here tend to just hang out for no particular reason. Or is it that I'm getting old and this is just what people do at this age? Who knows. I guess that this part of evolving and changing friendships I can deal with. The part I CAN'T deal with is the (fortunately very few) friends who all of the sudden morphed into the married-and-popping-out-kids life and can't find a place for me and my life in that, and frankly don't seem to want to. My friends are about half single/kidless and about half partnered and/or kidded, and we all hang out and it's cool. But there are a few who suddenly ditched me and started going exclusively to couples events (when I was single, and who haven't invited me back in, not that I'd want in at this point), or who would never dream of taking the kiddo anywhere other than to a kid-specific location, only welcoming friends who also are bringing kids. I much prefer the confusing strange world of morphing friendship styles to the OMG I GOTTA GO BE A MARRIED ADULT WITH 2.5 KIDS RIGHT THIS INSTANT shift.