judecorp | Two-Kid Wednesday

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Two-Kid Wednesday

I'm fighting off a cold right now.

That's what my Boss tells us to say. I guess it's some sort of "Power of Positive Thinking" crap, somehow more empowering to say than "I think I'm coming down with something." She has some sort of belief that if we /say/ we're fighting something off, we won't get sick. Really, I think she doesn't ever want us to miss work. What should she care, she left for a week in St. John today. Lucky.

I have a killer headache but that didn't stop me from talking to Wink for nearly an hour this evening, a conversation sparked because he cracked me up in his recent e-mail about spotting The Shat (W. Shatner) somewhere in town. (He's in LA. Ooh la la.) I do believe it was the sentence, "Or should I say, 'Shat myself?'" that did me in. I'm so easily amused.

It was Two-Kid Wednesday so I actually managed to pound through a significant amount of work on my desk /and/ file two weeks' worth of progress notes. I consider this a huge accomplishment, even if freeing all of this time up was disastrous to the Productivity thing. Aah well, I'm sure last week will cover it.

You know, I really wish love was easy. I don't know how anyone does it. Personally, I don't know if I'm coming or going most days. I can wake up in the morning on the wrong side of the bed and immediately get into a tizzy over something she's done or said, and ten minutes later when I'm still feeling down about it, all I want is to crawl into her arms. There's something mildly /wrong/ about that. How can I want comfort from the person who caused me to want comfort? Love, you're a crazy beast.

I really hope a time comes, and soon, when things settle down around us and we can go back to being Crazy In Love again. Those were good times, and I miss them. There's nothing quite like falling in love, and all of the living together and daily life stuff just messes with that in a lot of ways. Whatever happened to wanting to hold onto every moment and devote every ounce of energy to falling in love? I would like to bottle some of that and sip it every time Real Life tries to get in the way of my love affair.

I just want to go back to those wild and crazy, carefree, nutty-in-love days:

How do those of you in Long Term Loves keep that courtship spark? I'm all ears.

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How do those of you in Long Term Loves keep that courtship spark?

i'm not sure that it's ever quite the same, but it just comes and goes. sometimes it's there sometimes it's not. give it some time (and less stress), and you'll get it back. :)

Less stress? What's that?

Stress is the biggest problem.

Ever since we restructured our lives to reduce my stress levels, as well as dealing with some other of my minor psychological issues, we've had more time to hang, talk and just be together.

Yes, we took a financial hit to do it but we've still got our heads above water and now I can talk without snapping or taking a simple question as an attack.

The modern work-intensity is insane. 100 years ago people worked hard but there had to deal with far less in the way of information handling and more in the way of physical activities. Hard work is tiring but it doesn't eat your brain when you're not doing it - unless, of course, you are completely exhausted. A sustainable physical job will make you tired but not brain-dead.

A modern job is all about flick/flick/flick/stress/stress/PANIC and your mind is fizzing when you get home. You're either thinking about today's work or the things you didn't do yesterday or the things that you have to do tomorrow.

It's always best if a person can leave their job at the office and not do ANYTHING about it when they're at home. Try (and I know it's hard) to wind down in the commute if possible with relaxing music - not the depressing news or Mr Fast Thump Thump and His Adrenalin-Pumping Bassline.

It's hard to do. It's bloody hard to do. That's why I don't work as a sysadmin anymore - I couldn't maintain the separation between home and work and my relationship is far more important than having two cars or flying business class or eating out every second night. K loves her job but she also manages to keep it separate. Sometimes we talk research at home - but not the day-to-day stress inducing problems of being an employee or who did what to whom.

I know it's especially hard when someone asks 'How was your day' and by the time I've finished answering I'm spitting venom because of what person X did to me and how stupid they were. What I should always have done was say "Eh. People are dumb and I have to go in a bit early tomorrow to deal with it but it's bloody nice to be home.", turn my phone off and NOT go through any non-essential work.

So, my amateur advice is 'try and lower everyone's stress levels' and things will be better. It worked for me!

Hope that this helps.

Well, my job doesn't really give me stress. Weird but true. This is the least stressful job I think I've ever had. I like my coworkers, I can handle the job, and there are few surprises. It's good that work doesn't give me stress, since I don't have a commute at all. (I live 5 minutes from my office and 15 minutes from my furthest client. There's something about working in your own neighborhood.)

Most of my stress comes from trying to deal with the death of my dad while at the same time trying to take care of his estate, his possessions, his property. And try to sell his truck, all while living an hour away, working a full-time job, volunteering, and babysitting for extra money. The idea of having no down time is my major stressor.

But I don't know if "stress" is the sole answer, since, well, life is kind of full of stress. There is always something. It was stressful when we moved here, it was stressful when we were unemployed, it's stressful that we're broke, it's stressful that my dad is gone, etc. I can't imagine a stress-free world, especially since we want to start a family and let's face it - kids are stressful.

I agree that we need to learn to handle stress better, but for me, it's not from the job. Honestly, when I am at work I am the least stressed. I feel more confident, more pleasant, more in control at work. I am significantly more stressed at home.

And keep fighting off that cold!

Judecorp: *POW* *BANG* *KAPOW*

Cold: *REEL* *GASP* *FAINT*

YEAH!!!

I try to remember what he did and still does that made me just love the stuffin' out of him.

Then I look at things he's done for me, and I start to get a little more soft towards him, and then I make a real attempt at outreach.

It's worth it. It's not like when we first got together, but it's different, and it's definitely better.

Awwwh, that's so sweet. :)

Romance = Effort ^ .5

She works hard for her lovin'. Quite hard for her lovin'.

So you better treat her right!

I suck. I don't know. I think I need the same help.

I first saw that picture and thought you chopped off all your hair again!

Heh, nope, I still have the same hair. I think about chopping it from time to time, and then I think about how long it took to grow it out. Who knows? Maybe someday.

If I find the answers, I will pass them on to you.

i think less stress/busyness helps a lot. but life is busy and stressful. i agree with patti that it comes and goes, and those inbetween times are where commitment comes into it. that being said... going out on bona fide dates and when at home not just co-existing. randy and i found that it was too easy to do that. we are learning to make a point to turn off the tv and computer and TALK.

i don't think the Crazy In Love spark that comes with early days of falling in love is something that you recapture in it's full glory. maybe i'm wrong. but i think that it gets replaced with something a lot deeper and dare i say better.

my $.02
:D

Thanks for your comment - especially when it's not about something bad happening! ;)

I agree with you that life is stressful, and it's much more effective to come up with better ways of handling stress (alone and together) than to try to "eliminate" stress. And right now, it's true, we don't handle stress well together at all.

I know in my head that you can't recapture Crazy In Love again, but dang it, I WANT TO! That was so much fun! Falling Crazy In Love with her helped get me out of another really stressful part of my life, and I know I'm looking for that falling feeling to help pull me out of this one. But I guess I just need to figure out another way to deal.

Thanks for what you said about where commitment comes in. I think that's a great point.

SO GLAD nothing bad is happening. :D

learing how to handle stress together is very very hard. it takes time and effort. randy and i have been married 10 years and we are still learning that. so...yeah. :D but it is part of life and you have to actively work to do it together instead of letting it seperate you.

don't we all want to recapture some of those feelings? i mean, come on! all that craziness was so fun! but you know, it's not reality. i don't know if that sucks or what. or maybe we've bought some kind of lie that that is exactly how life and love should feel all that time. there is something extremely wonderful about knowing someone is committed to you down to their toes.

/steps off soap box.

No, I think you're exactly right. I think we're totally duped and brainwashed by romantic comedies and bad television shows. That, and there seems to be a real shortage of good relationship role models.

xoxo
You're the best!

I find there's nothing that sparks my sexual interest in my husband like feeling attracted to someone else. Just seeing a hot guy in a movie reminds me, that hey, I have a hot guy right here... That sounds crazy, but it's true.

We go back to those crazy in love days when we laugh together, because that's what initially brought us together. Focus on whatever it was about Jen that made you crazy in love with her and try finding it in the every day things that she does. That seems to help me, at least.

And that picture always makes me laugh because it looks to me like Jen is about to hork.

It DOES look like she's about to hork! Isn't that sexy? SO SEXY!!!

That's interesting that seeing a hot guy makes you think of Scott. Hey... seeing hot guys makes ME think of Scott, too! (Okay, I'm kidding.)

Love you.

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