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The Last Straw?
Tonight may very well have been my last foray into babysitting. I am just too old and too busy to deal with this crap.
Today E was in rare form and decided that in addition to telling me that she doesn't like me and that I am not her friend (these are standards which I translate as "I wish my moms were home"), she opted to also tell me to shut up several times. And spit at me. And hit me in the face. And kicked me.
When I told her that I was not going to read her any bedtime stories if she did not brush her teeth, she busted out in a cry so loud that one of her moms came down from the third floor (they were having their "date" up there tonight, I don't really know why, something about supposedly trying to come up with a plan for what to do with the mysterious third floor) and said she was "rescuing" me, and then deadpanned, "I don't know if we can ever pay you enough money." She ended up giving me my usual amount of money for an hour less babysitting, and I think she was sufficiently mortified when she heard E tell me that she was going to pull all of my earrings out, and all about how she wouldn't hit X person or Y person, just me.
And I told them that we would have to chat before next week, because I wasn't sure I was the best fit for their babysitting needs. I like the spending money, sure, but I already work more than 50 hours/week and I just don't need to be abused in my free time. I don't like the money THAT much.
Today E was in rare form and decided that in addition to telling me that she doesn't like me and that I am not her friend (these are standards which I translate as "I wish my moms were home"), she opted to also tell me to shut up several times. And spit at me. And hit me in the face. And kicked me.
When I told her that I was not going to read her any bedtime stories if she did not brush her teeth, she busted out in a cry so loud that one of her moms came down from the third floor (they were having their "date" up there tonight, I don't really know why, something about supposedly trying to come up with a plan for what to do with the mysterious third floor) and said she was "rescuing" me, and then deadpanned, "I don't know if we can ever pay you enough money." She ended up giving me my usual amount of money for an hour less babysitting, and I think she was sufficiently mortified when she heard E tell me that she was going to pull all of my earrings out, and all about how she wouldn't hit X person or Y person, just me.
And I told them that we would have to chat before next week, because I wasn't sure I was the best fit for their babysitting needs. I like the spending money, sure, but I already work more than 50 hours/week and I just don't need to be abused in my free time. I don't like the money THAT much.
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sounds like a kid who needs help.
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i would just DIE if fisher ever acted like that! DIE!
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I had given them a heads-up last week that I had been doing some major thinking about whether or not I wanted to continue babysitting if things escalated. I told them I realized that I was 30 years old and was way too old to be mocked for money. They're definitely mortified.
I think Mama hit it right on the head when she asked E, "Do you think that if you're really mean to Jude she will stop coming over and you won't have a babysitter?" She didn't answer but it's not like her parents aren't aware of the issues. When she says mean things to me in from of parents, they always say something (though I'm not sure if they have any discipline strategies other than talking).
I think, personally, that they need to take a break from going out every week, because it obviously is causing a problem with E. Then again, I also wonder if they /do/ start staying home, that she'll just learn that if she's mean enough, she'll get her way.
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I wonder what would happen if they got another babysitter. Maybe s/he would get a different reaction.
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Part of me can't really blame her - I mean, she's in child care all day during the work week, and then one night a week she comes home from child care, spends an hour or so with parents, and then they leave again? That's gotta be tough.
She doesn't act like this to anyone but me. And I don't think she gets babysat by anyone else. Certainly not on a weekly basis.
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another reason why i'm not having kids. i would want to be a full time (to the limit) mommy and i just couldn't do that. it seems impossible to me.
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They have kind of crazy lives/careers... no real set schedule kind of. It's tough and doesn't jive well with a needy kid. Hopefully it will all work out.
I know that I'll probably never get to be a stay-home parent (which I would love), but I'm hoping we can still do right by our kids. :)
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It's not an exact science, but one I want to practice. :) YMMV of course.
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Or maybe there's something with my personality that doesn't jive with her. Who knows? It's bizarre. Every time I come, she tells me, "Remember last time I wasn't nice to you? Today I'm going to be nice to you." And then she turns into a monster.
Today when Mama asked her why she was not nice to me, she said, "Maybe I think I was in a bad mood." I almost cracked up laughing. I can't help it - it's so bad it's comical.
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I'm sorry you had a crap time at the babysitting gig. I am sending you happy vibes right now.
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Seriously, though, I even whipped out the Mean Voice. Not a good night.
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But yeah, $15/hour doesn't cover getting my physical space violated. She didn't kick or hit HARD, but it's absolutely unacceptable. I don't allow it in my classroom, I don't allow it in my home visits, and I am sure as hell not going to allow it in babysitting.
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I think she needs SOME sort of consequence. It's great that they allow her to be so open about her feelings but when someone behaves badly, you can't always just talk it away.
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Law & Order: SVU Valentines: http://www.brandonbird.com/svutines.html
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p.s. Will we ever see you and the Rock Star again?
p.p.s. Have fun in Key West!
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It's tough, though, because it was a pretty sweet deal before it all went weird.
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I'm pretty conflicted about this, as someone who plans to be a parent and doesn't want to be a _slave_ to my child, per se...but does anyone think that maybe these parents ought to consider giving up their "date night" for a while?
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It's sad that people have kids and then ignore them that way. If their kid isn't more important than their climb up the corporate ladder, they oughtn't to have had any.
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One of the parents is a lawyer and as far as I know, she does a lot of pro-bono work helping people who have been arrested unjustly go through the appeals process. She's not really climbing the corporate ladder. The other parent is a family planning educator for a local non-profit.
So really, they do good work and they really bust their butts to be good parents. It's not really irresponsible for them to try to have a weekly Date Night. It's just something that probably needs to be reevaluated right now.
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But yeah, I'm totally on the same page with you. They need to reassess their situation /and/ deal with the behavior... and neither of those things has anything to do with me. It sounds to me like they need to halt the "Date Nights" for right now, or at least make them less frequent, while they come to the bottom of all of this stuff.
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Okay kidding. I appreciate how much thought you've put into the situation.
I think if you want the money, you could always put up fliers that say "As long as your child doesn't spit, kick, or tell me I'm a poopiehead all of the time...I'm up for some babysittin'"
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