Cold feet, warm heart

[judecorp]

Guh, it's still cold. According to the extended forecast, it doesn't look like it's going to go above freezing at all for the next five days. THAT IS NUTS. Not looking forward to the heating bill next month. We can deduct our heating bills from our state tax return and I might delay sending the taxes until the next bill comes... though I'm not sure it will make much difference.

~//~

Last night, I lingered after the HelpLine training to chat with Lyssa a little bit and give Flight Attendent Joe a hug. Since it was already almost 9pm, I decided to walk down to the Pru and catch up with Jen as she was getting off work. She was hungry and suggested getting an appetizer at The Cheesecake Factory so I could also have some delicious cheesecake. The whole combination ended up bringing about one of the best nights we've had in a LONG time.

We had a lot of time, in a fairly quiet restaurant, to just sit and talk and talk and TALK. We don't seem to make much time for talking these days, which is a real shame, because then anything of substance or difficulty gets said during an argument which is definitely the WRONG time. We just got to sit and chat about different things, talk about where our relationship is going, where we're having troubles, where we're not having troubles, and what we can do to make it better. I left that conversation feeling like I understood where she was coming from a little better, and I know she got the same understanding about me. Which is nice.

It's nice to get that chance to connect in a way that we don't always get to because we're so busy and have such different schedules. All this shows to me that we still have it, and we have it big time... we just need to make a more concerted effort to do this sort of housekeeping. Jen has suggested over time things like couples counseling or couples retreats to help us find each other again. While those are certainly viable options, I think we've shown that we just need to be committed to make that effort ourselves without relying on some external individual or getaway to "fix" the troubles we've created. Really, we just need to step up the preventive stuff (which is usually harder) and continue to reaffirm our committment to keeping that magic that brought us together electric. (Zap.)

Heading to the Pru last night was seriously the best decision I've made so far in 2006.

Comments

[damdyke.livejournal.com]

That's so sweet. It's amazing how having that special extra hour or two together to really connect can just stir up such Big Love, huh? Good for the two of you! :-)

[stapynam.livejournal.com]

i really like the idea of couples counseling or retreats. i think they can be good at helping you know /where/ to put the effort.

glad you had a good evening:)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's definitely a very good thing. :)

xo

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, I definitely think they can be a good idea and a very good tool... especially, as you say, to show /where/ to put the efforts. But I think sometimes before you can even get to that point, you have to make some sort of commitment to putting the effort in, period. And just walking into someone's office or going away to some retreat isn't going to give that to people, you know?

Sometimes you have to just sit there and say, "Okay, I'm committed to this," /without/ the aid of a third party or a special trip. Sometimes I think it needs to come from inside.

[stapynam.livejournal.com]

agreed:)