Money woe is me.

[judecorp]

Man, am I tired. Guh.

I was up all night with major financial anxiety. All along, Jen and I had been talking about how I should do this 3/4 office job schtick at St0newall because it will be easier, less stressful, blah blah blah... and then the other day she starts talking about how I should work full time to make more money. And at the time I was just confused because I thought we had decided one thing, but I guess it turned into full-blown anxiety in the dark of night.

I feel like I have to take this St0newall job now even if I was offered a FT gig somewhere else because I got the Director to eliminate all of the candidates so I could be hired. I mean, I helped orchestrate Operation: Backdoor and what kind of jackass would I be if I then said, "Yeah, that's not going to work for me, oops."? Not pretty.

I'm just majorly overwhelmed right now. I don't know what is going to happen if we're dipping into our savings to pay bills /before/ I even take leave (unpaid, of course, because I'm not at a job) to have two kids. I mean, don't most people ADD to their savings before kids are born so they have money for leave? I have never not made enough money to pay my bills, and that's including when I was unemployed. I have never had a lot of bills to pay. But now we pay an enormous student loan and it is really weighing on my mind. I just don't know where the money is going to come from.

I'm sure it will pass, but right now moving feels like the stupidest choice we have ever made, because if we were still in Boston I would be at my decent-paying job where I have over a month of sick time built up and guaranteed FMLA time. Instead I will be draining my savings to pay for the damned car and student loan.

~//~

It doesn't help at all that right now the prospect of trying to start buying cloth diapers for two is so infathomable because I don't even know how we're going to pay all of the bills... yet I know I need to start buying a little at a time. It's not like I can bust down to the thrift store and pick those up.

Comments

[kcmedc.livejournal.com]

relax and breathe. The money will come. I always get a tickle at people who say "wait until you can afford kids before you have them." If everyone did that there would be no kids. Add money to savings? WHAT savings? Seriously, when the kids get here you will find the funding to get them what ever they need. I'm a pauper. I work as a civil servant. My partner Chris works part time. And yet we still have all the modern comforts of home except cable simply because we don't want the kids to be vegetables. Don't stress it's not good for the babies. It will be alright. Budda provide. You work part time she works full time it will all be ok.

[odd-dog.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should start setting up the registry for the baby shower (you are having one, right?) now. That would help you list everything you need, and help your friends help you!

[keelamonster.livejournal.com]

AMEN!
Start a gift registry for the babies. Go to places lots of people can get to like babies r us and target and just link to it from your LJ. Jude, my love you know people want to help you and we don't know how. So show us how and we will.

Also, if you register at target or someplace like that, you can get gift cards (which you can also use online if you don't have a target near you).

So register! NOWNOW NOW NOW!

[keelamonster.livejournal.com]

Also, make sure you put the BIG stuff like cribs and carseats an strollers and stuff. You may not get them, but at least you can give people the opportunity to get them for you.

And it's not begging for a handout, I promise. I swear it's not. I was weird about registering too, but people want to rejoice with you and this way they get to.

[halleyscomet.livejournal.com]

"It's not like I can bust down to the thrift store and pick those up."

You can however come up with a list for your friends near thrift stores to pick up and bring you when we come to visit.

The distance just means more logistics are involved in lending a helping hand, not that we'll be unable to do so.

[skatured.livejournal.com]

The problem with finances is that -- there is no definite answer. One moment you can be sure and certain one plan is right and five minutes later another plan is right....the only thing you can do is...your best. You'll find a way to work through and around the finances when the time comes to it. I mean, you guys bought a house -- that right there shows you are financially responsible.

Your student loan -- call them and tell them that you are out of a job and experiencing "financial difficulty" -- they will hold it for you. Meaning you don't have to pay for up to 6 months (at which point, if you still are out of a job you can call again). The point is to call and put them aside for now. We had to do it several times over the course of past 8 years -- it was a lifesaver.

[gala.livejournal.com]

We'll be able to help out on the cloth aspect, too. V has almost outgrown her infant size prefolds, and small covers. You're welcome to borrow them. And getting them second hand from Diaper Swappers will help too.

[mnsnstar.livejournal.com]

I felt the same way after we purchased the house...thinking "Did I just make the biggest mistake ever!?!?!?" You'll do fine! Get to places that have registries for items you'll need for the house, kids, etc. Everything will be alright!

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

Can Jen not ask for relief for her student loan?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

See, there's the rub.

It's a big loan. I think we've talked about big debt in the past, so I think you know that. And she could defer it "financial hardship" or whatever, but all that does is add interest. And let me tell you, with it already consolidated onto a 30-year schedule (hello, it's a second mortgage), we can't really handle any more interest.

If by "relief" you mean "rich person who wants to pay a big chunk of it," yeah, I would totally ask for that. ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not my student loan. So I can't call and defer it. I don't want Jen to do that either, especially since a) she has a full-time job and b) we can't afford to add MORE time and interest to it. (Just trust me that it's scary.) It's a 30-year student loan as it is and I think we have 25+ more years to go.

I wish I was kidding.

~//~

But you're right, all you can do is your best. And I'm sure that's what we will do. The uncertain future just makes me hecka nervous.

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

ahhhh, I didnt realize it added interest. I know people who simply say "I can't afford to pay off my loan now", and don't need to. I didnt realize it was simply postponing the inevitable and making it worse.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

No no, I mean they don't sell used cloth diapers at thrift stores.

Trust me, we have thrift stores here. But thanks for offering to thrift for me! xoxo

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Now see this? AWESOME. Because let me tell you, I may be weird and fixated on one thing, but I have been majorly stuck on the diapers. Basically I know that everything else can be gotten from freecycle and thrift stores in a pinch, it was the upfront expense of the diapers that was scaring me the most. I had a diaper nightmare. It was ridiculous.

You, however, are a lifesaver. Because even a little bit of "if we can't swing it, there's always this" helps.

xo

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I have been holding off on registry stuff until after the first trimester. One of my biggest fears is having a registry up for a pregnancy that doesn't make it. Maybe that makes me neurotic, but hey, I admit that.

I'm not worried about any other baby stuff other than diapers. Weird but true. I know that lots of people will help with lots of stuff (I know a lot of people with kids) but cloth diapers are an expensive "up front" cost, and of course I worry that we can't pay our bills. Do they make registries for the gas bill? HAR HAR.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of waiting for that magical second trimester before I feel comfortable legitimately begging for my kids.

I /do/ feel really weird about the registry stuff, as you know, but I know it's one of those things you do and we are planning to do it. Just not so soon.

Also, I'm not really worried much about STUFF. I figure STUFF can come from anywhere (and lots of people like yourself have offered lender stuff), it's just the diapers I'm stuck on, because they're pricey.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

any deferment adds interest. Even those 6 months between college and your first payment.

With the new consolidation laws in effect I have to see if it would be cheaper to re-consolidate into a 15 year at a lower rate....but I just don't know and I am a bit overwhelmed.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. The only time you get an interest-free deferment is if you are in school. And then it's not that it's interest-free, it's that the government pays your interest (if it's a gov loan). Otherwise you don't make the payments but your regular interest just keeps accumulating - and then you're paying for 6 months longer.

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

I'm can't imagine... :(

[ntiva.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the other comments yet, so if this is repeating, forgive me. You can register for diapers. I think the website is diaperware.com. You can also buy them used. There is a CD community here on LJ and many times you can find good deals on used but good quality diapers.

Also, depending on the diapering system you go with, you can get by with very little initial investment.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

You and I should talk about consolidating my loan into an ICR loan....it's new(er than when I last consolidated or else I would have done it then!) and seems better.

I dunno. the current interest rate is higher than my current locked in rate for regular consolidation.

[anitsirk.livejournal.com]

have you frequented the boards at mothering.com?

i know they are ridiculous, but if you make 50 posts(you can make all fluffy posts or cloth diapering question posts), then you have access to their trading post. i got 3 dozen prefolds for $18 shipped on there. some people ask ridiculous prices, but some people have great deals.

[gala.livejournal.com]

We've also got some leftover sposies you can have. We did them with V for a couple of weeks until her umbilical scab fell off, and then again when we were behind on diaper days.

I second the registry thing - and places like softclothbunz.com (where I tend to buy all my new stuff) and jardine diapers and cottonbabies all have wishlists.

[gala.livejournal.com]

Actually, I've heard of folks getting lucky at thrift stores. And they're a great place to get wool sweaters to cannibalize into soakers.

[aminahfiddler.livejournal.com]

hahah I call my student loan my mini house payment. IF I'm lucky it will be paid off before I retire. It's 700 a month YIKES. There are some payment plans that allow you to pay w/out paying the full amount... It extends the loans but if it makes that you can breath when you need to w/out calls from a collector that's the way to go.

I just set my student loan up for auto pay bi weekly instead of once a month. Yes, I know it's the same amount but it makes me feel better when it's a smaller chunk at a time.

Since I get paid every other week it means that I'm getting 2 extra payments a year too! I'm going to do the same thing with our mortgage once we're in the house. That way I don't have to think about it.

Oh yea, don't forget about estimated bills. Most utility companies will set up your payments so they are the same every month then in real cold or hot months you're negitive but months when it's mild you make it up. They use the previous owners usage until you've been there for a year. Some people don't like it because the balances are weird. But, if you're on a tight budget it make it easier since it's the same amount every time.

Oh I'd tell you not to stress but I get it. I'm a planner and a stress monster. So I'll tell you what I do instead. Shhh it's a secret :-) late at night when I can't sleep I look at porn, then I wake up S. and we have fun and then I sleep the sleep of the well ... well you know the rest ;-)

[estrange.livejournal.com]

I know things will work out for you somehow, they always seem to.

If you end up having boys I will be selling all of Devin's old clothes on ebay and some of it sells for very cheap.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

It will work out. Somehow, it will. Still sending prayers and good energy your way!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well now I guess I can relax about money somewhat, since we're not having twins and might not be having any kids at all. But hopefully I will still have ONE kid to worry about money with. Because isn't worrying about money the American way?

And yeah, I totally am not one of those people who wanted to have "enough money" to have kids because I will never have enough money. It was just more daunting with two.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the tip, I will look into it if everything works out.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I wish I had some sewing/crafting ability. I seriously don't have that gene at all. I know people use wool sweaters (I have heard of that) but I don't have the first clue about that stuff!

Hopefully I will get through the first tri and will still have to worry about things like diapers.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Wow, I could see a biweekly payment helping. You're right, it's the same amount of money but seems more manageable. Maybe we should think about that as well.

And yeah, we do estimated for our gas bill and it's a nice, manageable number. Hopefully when it gets readjusted it does not go up!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am seriously scared of mothering.com.

xo

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you for all of your prayers. I know they are helping!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right. I REALLY hope you're right.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

:(