judecorp: (getting harder)
judecorp ([personal profile] judecorp) wrote2006-12-07 06:48 pm
Entry tags:

Some statistics

They say that when you can see your baby's heartbeat on ultrasound, you have a 95% chance of making it to the second trimester. I don't know who "they" is and it could be an old wives' tale for all I know, but that's what they say.

We are in the 5%. We had an ultrasound this afternoon and Baby B had stopped growing and was dead, somewhere around 7w5d. That's only a couple of days after our first bleed and our last ultrasound.

Baby A looked positively awesome, measuring 9w5d, heartbeat of 183, moving its little limbs. We saw its beautiful head, arms and hands (even the fingers!), little chest and legs, and the neat loopy cord that links us together.

Then they told us that there's a significant chance that my body is realizing that I am carrying a dead baby and will start working to miscarry it. I asked for odds (because I definitely know people who have lost multiples and continued to term) and the midwife didn't really know - she said probably less than 50% to miscarry but she couldn't say it was, say 25%. And I'm sure she was extra guarded because I'm already having bleeding. She basically told us that I could start cramping tonight, or I could deliver a healthy baby in the summer, or anything in between.

On top of this, the subchorionic hematoma has grown, from about 1cm in area to about 2cm. It seems, on ultrasound, to be behind Baby A somewhere and she didn't expect it to get in the way, but of course couldn't say for sure. And I have a cyst on my left ovary that is now 5cm.

Why is this happening to us? It's like a triple whammy: dead baby, bigger hematoma, big cyst. At this point they're not sure where the bleeding is coming from - either from the hematoma or the baby. I sure hope it's the former. I just don't know why we have such rotten luck.

We are simply beside ourselves with worry and aren't really up for talking about it, even to each other. The plan is for me to spend at least through Tuesday (my next appointment) lying around and hope that there is no more bleeding and no cramping. Jen is working from home tomorrow to spend time with me, and she didn't go to work today. Lisa, I'm sorry this means we will miss your party tomorrow.

Please, even if you don't really believe it works, send some energy into the Universe that we are able to continue to grow our beautiful baby.

[identity profile] meglett.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
fuck. i'm so, so sorry. hurting here for all of you, and also sending good thoughts for baby A.

(((jude and jen)))

[identity profile] gala.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, man. I'm so sorry for all of you. We'll keep all our fingers and toes crossed for a happy and healthy baby A.

Let us know if you need anything.

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-09 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Y'all wouldn't want to come and help Jen put together our bedroom, would you? I hate to have her doing everything by herself.

(Anonymous) 2006-12-08 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Jude,
I was shocked to read your news. A. and I are thinking of you and Jen and praying baby A is okay, and that you are ok. Keep positive.
I'm sending you hugs.

e.
twomomsarebetterthanone.blogspot.com/

[identity profile] kat-chan.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs* I'm sorry that this is happening and that there is so much stress right now. I'm thinking good thoughts for you, and wish there were more that I could do.

[identity profile] anitsirk.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
i'm sorry for your loss.
i've been thinking about you.
you have my vibes.

[identity profile] sudrin.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
I know us boy's probably don't understand what its like with the babies growing inside you and whatnot but I am certainly hoping for the best for you. Its an amazingly complex thing that I suppose is easily taken for granted. My hopes and prayers are with you. At the very least in hopes it will be a boy and I can send him sci-fi related things. :)
skreeky: (3-D)

[personal profile] skreeky 2006-12-08 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
Girls deserve Sci-Fi things too! :-P

[identity profile] murnkay.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
OH god hon *HUG*

[identity profile] whirledpeas.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
Thinking of you.
I'm sorry.

[identity profile] bit-of-muslin.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
I am sending mondo loads of good vibes your way!

*hugs*

[identity profile] prunesnprisms.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Keeping my fingers crossed that the rest of the way will be easier.
skreeky: (Default)

[personal profile] skreeky 2006-12-08 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
Oh Jude! Hugs and good life vibes your way!

[identity profile] sassywoman.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
Oh Jude. My heart is breaking for your loss. I will pray with all of my might that your baby pulls through. Please know that I'm thinking of you and sending love your way.

[identity profile] kjames.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
oh jude, i'm so sorry. i'm glad that baby A looks great, and i will pray for his/her safety. i will continue to pray for you to stop bleeding(hematoma and cyst going away). i will also pray for comfort for you.

[identity profile] therewaslight.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
In my prayers as well.

[identity profile] humanbeatbox.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 12:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't even know what to say except I'm sorry and we're rooting for you and Jen and your health and Baby A's continued health.

[identity profile] riggeronfire.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
keeping you and jen in my thoughts.

[identity profile] keelamonster.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I know I'm getting to this a little later than everyone else, but I am praying for you and baby A and Jen, too. I hate that you're so stressed and tired and having such a hard time with all of this. I wish I could wave a magic wand around your house and make it go away, but the best I can do is pray for you.

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-09 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
So as a doc, do you know much on the chances of making it through this with a real baby? It's okay if you don't know. I know I'm putting major Doctor Pressure on you.

xo

(no subject)

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com - 2006-12-10 14:21 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] iansha.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Jude, I am SO very sorry that you and Jen are having to go through this.

I will be sending all sorts of prayers up for your health and the health of the baby.

*hugs tight*

[identity profile] gimmeapony.livejournal.com 2006-12-08 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Honey, I'm so sorry. I am thinking of you and Jen and the little one. <3

[identity profile] carina-s.livejournal.com 2006-12-10 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Jude. I am so sorry. And I am thankful that it wasn't both of them. I am thinking of you both.

[identity profile] violacat.livejournal.com 2006-12-10 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Just read this, we're so sorry. You're all in our thoughts. *HUGS*

[identity profile] mayna.livejournal.com 2006-12-10 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so sorry Jude. I hope Baby A is ok.

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