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Entry tags:
- bummer,
- er,
- knocked up,
- sch
Status Update
Wow, I never expected to have this type of journal.
The bleeding kind of ebbed and flowed (HA HA, get it?) throughout yesterday and into the night. I attempted to go to bed because I was feeling pretty good at the time and just wanted to get the night over with. As soon as I laid down I started to get hit with monster cramps and heavy bleeding. When Jen came to bed a little over an hour later, I told her what was going on, and after about a half hour more, she insisted that I go to the ER because she was worried I was bleeding too much. I didn't really want to go to the ER because I didn't think they could/would do anything, but she was really concerned and hey, maybe they would have an answer.
It was a total waste of time. They took a million vials of blood from me and told me to strip down to a gown and wait so I could have an internal exam. I was bleeding like a stuck pig and was not able to wear anything! It was the most disgusting experience of my life. About two hours later, the doctor came in with my lab results (everything fine except an elevated white count which he thought was due to stress). Then the proceeded to do the worst internal exam of my life - it was obvious that he doesn't have a lot of experience with such things because he didn't give any warning. He was like, "Okay, you will feel my hands on the outside," (or whatever) and the next thing I knew he was jamming in the speculum with /no/ warning. Awful.
Anyway, I don't know what the point of the internal was. He didn't tell me if my cervix was open, only that I had quite a lot of blood up there (DUH) and some clotting but no evidence of any fetal tissue. Then he told me they didn't have an ultrasound person there in the middle of the night but he would get a nurse to try a doppler.
The nurse could not find a heartbeat on the doppler, but kept making sure to say it could just be too early to hear the heartbeat on the outside. But with everything else going on, we are not holding on to much hope. The doctor called the on call at my practice and the doctor on call told my doctor to have me call in a few hours and they would have me in for an ultrasound. I knew this was bogus because I know the sonographer is out today.
But I called this morning a little after 10:00 (we got some sleep after getting in at 5:00) and at 11:45, no one had called me back. I called AGAIN and they transferred me to someone immediately who told me I could come in at 4:00 and one of the OBs could give me an ultrasound. So that's the plan.
The odd thing is that since I got home at 5:00, I haven't had any bleeding. This is seriously the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me. How could I be gushing blood and having cramps for hours and then... nothing?
And then my mom called today, ostensibly to thank us for our Christmas gift (Omaha Steaks) but of course she called while I was waiting for the nurse to call back. I called her back after and she spent at least 20 minutes crying about how she didn't want me to hemorrhage and die because I was her baby and asking if I wanted her to fly out here. The sentiment was nice but all the effort of trying to convince her that I was not dying did nothing to help my stress level.
So I guess it all comes down to 4:00. I just want to know if we have a baby or not. And if not, I am going to see if I can get this all taken care of. And if so, I am going to see if I can get some answers.
The bleeding kind of ebbed and flowed (HA HA, get it?) throughout yesterday and into the night. I attempted to go to bed because I was feeling pretty good at the time and just wanted to get the night over with. As soon as I laid down I started to get hit with monster cramps and heavy bleeding. When Jen came to bed a little over an hour later, I told her what was going on, and after about a half hour more, she insisted that I go to the ER because she was worried I was bleeding too much. I didn't really want to go to the ER because I didn't think they could/would do anything, but she was really concerned and hey, maybe they would have an answer.
It was a total waste of time. They took a million vials of blood from me and told me to strip down to a gown and wait so I could have an internal exam. I was bleeding like a stuck pig and was not able to wear anything! It was the most disgusting experience of my life. About two hours later, the doctor came in with my lab results (everything fine except an elevated white count which he thought was due to stress). Then the proceeded to do the worst internal exam of my life - it was obvious that he doesn't have a lot of experience with such things because he didn't give any warning. He was like, "Okay, you will feel my hands on the outside," (or whatever) and the next thing I knew he was jamming in the speculum with /no/ warning. Awful.
Anyway, I don't know what the point of the internal was. He didn't tell me if my cervix was open, only that I had quite a lot of blood up there (DUH) and some clotting but no evidence of any fetal tissue. Then he told me they didn't have an ultrasound person there in the middle of the night but he would get a nurse to try a doppler.
The nurse could not find a heartbeat on the doppler, but kept making sure to say it could just be too early to hear the heartbeat on the outside. But with everything else going on, we are not holding on to much hope. The doctor called the on call at my practice and the doctor on call told my doctor to have me call in a few hours and they would have me in for an ultrasound. I knew this was bogus because I know the sonographer is out today.
But I called this morning a little after 10:00 (we got some sleep after getting in at 5:00) and at 11:45, no one had called me back. I called AGAIN and they transferred me to someone immediately who told me I could come in at 4:00 and one of the OBs could give me an ultrasound. So that's the plan.
The odd thing is that since I got home at 5:00, I haven't had any bleeding. This is seriously the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me. How could I be gushing blood and having cramps for hours and then... nothing?
And then my mom called today, ostensibly to thank us for our Christmas gift (Omaha Steaks) but of course she called while I was waiting for the nurse to call back. I called her back after and she spent at least 20 minutes crying about how she didn't want me to hemorrhage and die because I was her baby and asking if I wanted her to fly out here. The sentiment was nice but all the effort of trying to convince her that I was not dying did nothing to help my stress level.
So I guess it all comes down to 4:00. I just want to know if we have a baby or not. And if not, I am going to see if I can get this all taken care of. And if so, I am going to see if I can get some answers.
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*HUGS*
You all remain in my prayers.
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You are awesome.
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*HUGS*
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You, Jen and baby are all in my thoughts. Good vibes to you all!!! :)
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Excuse me if I've missed something major. Did you have a loss? If so, I am very sorry, and sorrier if I missed it!
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I'm keeping you in my thoughts. I hope today's visit gives you some answers.
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And the good news is that if he'd seen a big, open cervix, he probably WOULD have told you that. I know it's not a lot of consolation in all of this, but I'm praying fo ryou today and I hope it goes well.
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Actually, the OB I saw said he was surprised they didn't find the heartbeat... then again, they didn't seem to really knowwhat they were doing.
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You had neither of those things.
And yay for the heartbeat and the eyelids and fingers!
I'm praying like mad for you here. And as soon as Ella learns to do it, I'm sure she'll pray for you too. Rightnow, she just sort of goes "bababababaabaaba" which I think is Ella-speak for "I hope Jude is okay."
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I wonder if we have a stronger doppler than they had at the ER, because we didn't really have much trouble finding the heartbeat once we figured out where to look.
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You've been in my prayers and will stay there. Thinking of you a lot!
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You know that if you don't travel back to Beantown this weekend, that is 100% fine. We all really want to see you, but not at the cost of stressing you more! Do what your body needs you to do, and what your psyche needs you to do, and NO GUILT about it, okay?
HUGS!
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It was so good to see you and Jon. I miss you guys so much!
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Go postal on some dr's ass. maybe that will make your stress level go down? Well Maybe not.. but hey it would be fun. and might get better answers.. .Just blame it on the hormones.. LOL
Good Luck at the Dr's
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Dude, the hormones are OUT OF CONTROL! All I do is cry anymore!
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Also, thank you for the cute Christmas card and house picture.
Take care
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Meep bleep!