judecorp: (motherhood)
judecorp ([personal profile] judecorp) wrote2006-12-20 07:15 pm

Testing Fate Once Again

We had another ultrasound today. With an OB. The head of the practice, actually. He was awfully nice.

He wanted to do an internal ultrasound today. It was painful because of the awful internal I had in the inky morning. But...

Our baby is totally hanging in there. I don't know how that's possible, but s/he was doing that fetus thing. He didn't take measurements or measure the heart rate, but there was definitely a heartbeat, and eyes (with eyelids!), and because it was an internal you could really see the individual fingers. Wacky.

He couldn't find any evidence of the subchorionic hematoma and couldn't find a physical reason for the bleeding. His theory is that my body is really confused by the lost twin, because it hasn't started to reabsorb at all. He thinks my body doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if that's true but whatever. He said we were definitely not out of the woods, especially with the heavy bleeding, but that he would expect that if we were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. But he was very cautious.

He wanted to bump my appointment up a week but because of scheduling, I'm going in on Friday, Jan 5 instead of Monday, Jan 9. So not too much different, but he wants me to have another ultrasound done as well.

We're still bleeding today, possibly from the jarring internal ultrasound, but we're hopeful at least for today. We're thinking of renting a doppler to put our minds at ease, even though I swore I would never do that.

[identity profile] mellybabe.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
oohh,thank goodness..*breathes*..hang in there,wee one!..lots of us are cheering for you & your family!!

[identity profile] hope-persists.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
anything that will put your mind at ease is a great thing. good luck, and let me know at any point if there's anything i can do.

thinking of you a lot...

[identity profile] meglett.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
lots of relief sighing here.....we were getting a bit worried, figuring not posting yet=bad news. because we expect you to live for LJ. ;)

i hear the not out of the woods yet thing, but you certainly have a little fighter in there. love you guys!

[identity profile] kat-chan.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Happy to hear the good news. I'm hopeful that things will somehow get easier in the near future. *hugs*

[identity profile] posthaste.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
*HUGS* you guys are just...i know we're new friends but man i just have so much admiration for you guys. you're both so strong. you rock :)

i rented a doppler with both of my pregnancies and it *totally* eased my anxiety. the second time around i rented one that showed the heartbeat rate too, that was a cool plus :)

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
I think it is listening!

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
Sorry for the wait! The doctor's office is 45 minutes away and we had to make a pitstop for dinner and some errands.

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you for the offer. My new strategy is to try to live as normal a life as possible. Well, except for the part where I rent a home doppler and be Tom Cruise. ;)

I have to run to UMASS tomorrow to do some paperwork for my new job. Do you want to come? You can say no, because it's not very exciting. But maybe we could stop later to shop for stocking stuffers for Jen!

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Well, we ended up stopping in town for dinner and then did a little shopping for my brother and SIL. But our midwife/OB practice is about 45 minutes away.

Thank you for caring about us. We seriously appreciate it. I am trying to learn how to just "let go." I think that is my lesson for right now.

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
From your fingers to God's ears, my friend. xo

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Awwh, you are sweet. Most of the time I don't feel very strong, but I know Jen has been a real trooper.

I think I hit some sort of breaking point yesterday. There was so much blood and everything was so bad-looking that I just kind of let it go. I hope I can keep this attitude for a while, because the holidays are right around the corner and I can't handle massive stress.

I was worried that a doppler might radiate my baby, but at this point, I have had so many ultrasounds and stuff that I think I have to give up on that.

[identity profile] hope-persists.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
i would really love to, for sure. want me to drive? (i hate being a passenger, but i'll deal if i have to). maybe we could go to judie's for lunch and have a GIANT POPOVER!

i have some kid i know from lj coming up to visit at some point tomorrow, but i think not till later in the day. other than that, i am ALL YOURS. <3

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
If you really don't want to drive, I can handle that. The lady doesn't get to the office until 10am, so we can go whenever after that. I will bring some change so we can park at a meter or something... or you could loiter while I run in there.

I can't really afford to eat out for lunch tomorrow, though. Is that bad?

[identity profile] hope-persists.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
i'd love to drive - i prefer it.

also, may i take you out to lunch at judies? soup and a big fat popover is only like 6 bucks or something. i think the salads are pretty good there as well, but i dont know because i dont eat salad. consider it an xmas present ;) no getting the rack of lamb though! lol. let's try to head out at like 11?

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
You totally don't have to do that! I know you don't have a ton of money... except that Hanukkah Harry just visited you. :)

I will make sure to be showered and dressed by 11. Wow - a shower. What a concept!

xo

[identity profile] hope-persists.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
i know i dont, but i'd like to :)

i have a check to deposit tomorrow, and most of my xmas shopping is actually already done, so i'm ok for right now. if we can keep it money wise down to the 20 dollar range between us, i can totally swing that. plus, i've been craving one of the popovers :)

[identity profile] aminahfiddler.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Whew.

Hang in there little one. I'm glad you have some more answers and I'm glad that the doctor seems really cool.

I hope you can figure out what to say to your mom so she can calm down.

[identity profile] amyura.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Phew.....hang in there baby! Your mammas love you!

Jude, I am deadly serious. You're going through very similar stuff to what I went through two years ago. If you would EVER like to chat and get together for some support I would love to. I'm on vacation all next week. Please let me know via email if this is something you're interested in..... amers at post dot harvard dot edu.

[identity profile] indigodove.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
I am so glad to hear this. Hang in there, all three of you!

[identity profile] kjames.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
OMG i'm so relieved for you!!! what a huge relief. i mean, yes, you're not out of the woods... but the baby is still there, alive and kicking! WHEW! i'm really glad. now listen, missy, take it easy. okay? even if you totally feel lazy just take it easy. no crazy unpacking and moving and all that shit.
this is a totally crazy rollercoaster ride. thanks for trusting us enough to allow us to come along with you via lj. hang in there, jude. :)

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
Should I come to your house at 11?

[identity profile] cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad to hear it. I'm still sending happy waves your way.

[identity profile] drainbead.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
I am totally crying right now.

This baby knows how much s/he is loved. Who wouldn't want to live, knowing that?

[identity profile] stapynam.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
:)

[identity profile] judecorp.livejournal.com 2006-12-21 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly.

Page 1 of 4