Testing Fate Once Again
Dec. 20th, 2006 07:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpWe had another ultrasound today. With an OB. The head of the practice, actually. He was awfully nice.
He wanted to do an internal ultrasound today. It was painful because of the awful internal I had in the inky morning. But...
Our baby is totally hanging in there. I don't know how that's possible, but s/he was doing that fetus thing. He didn't take measurements or measure the heart rate, but there was definitely a heartbeat, and eyes (with eyelids!), and because it was an internal you could really see the individual fingers. Wacky.
He couldn't find any evidence of the subchorionic hematoma and couldn't find a physical reason for the bleeding. His theory is that my body is really confused by the lost twin, because it hasn't started to reabsorb at all. He thinks my body doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if that's true but whatever. He said we were definitely not out of the woods, especially with the heavy bleeding, but that he would expect that if we were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. But he was very cautious.
He wanted to bump my appointment up a week but because of scheduling, I'm going in on Friday, Jan 5 instead of Monday, Jan 9. So not too much different, but he wants me to have another ultrasound done as well.
We're still bleeding today, possibly from the jarring internal ultrasound, but we're hopeful at least for today. We're thinking of renting a doppler to put our minds at ease, even though I swore I would never do that.
He wanted to do an internal ultrasound today. It was painful because of the awful internal I had in the inky morning. But...
Our baby is totally hanging in there. I don't know how that's possible, but s/he was doing that fetus thing. He didn't take measurements or measure the heart rate, but there was definitely a heartbeat, and eyes (with eyelids!), and because it was an internal you could really see the individual fingers. Wacky.
He couldn't find any evidence of the subchorionic hematoma and couldn't find a physical reason for the bleeding. His theory is that my body is really confused by the lost twin, because it hasn't started to reabsorb at all. He thinks my body doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if that's true but whatever. He said we were definitely not out of the woods, especially with the heavy bleeding, but that he would expect that if we were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. But he was very cautious.
He wanted to bump my appointment up a week but because of scheduling, I'm going in on Friday, Jan 5 instead of Monday, Jan 9. So not too much different, but he wants me to have another ultrasound done as well.
We're still bleeding today, possibly from the jarring internal ultrasound, but we're hopeful at least for today. We're thinking of renting a doppler to put our minds at ease, even though I swore I would never do that.
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Date: 2006-12-21 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 12:42 am (UTC)thinking of you a lot...
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:03 am (UTC)I have to run to UMASS tomorrow to do some paperwork for my new job. Do you want to come? You can say no, because it's not very exciting. But maybe we could stop later to shop for stocking stuffers for Jen!
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Date: 2006-12-21 12:43 am (UTC)i hear the not out of the woods yet thing, but you certainly have a little fighter in there. love you guys!
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:04 am (UTC)Thank you for caring about us. We seriously appreciate it. I am trying to learn how to just "let go." I think that is my lesson for right now.
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Date: 2006-12-21 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 12:55 am (UTC)i rented a doppler with both of my pregnancies and it *totally* eased my anxiety. the second time around i rented one that showed the heartbeat rate too, that was a cool plus :)
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:06 am (UTC)I think I hit some sort of breaking point yesterday. There was so much blood and everything was so bad-looking that I just kind of let it go. I hope I can keep this attitude for a while, because the holidays are right around the corner and I can't handle massive stress.
I was worried that a doppler might radiate my baby, but at this point, I have had so many ultrasounds and stuff that I think I have to give up on that.
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:21 am (UTC)Hang in there little one. I'm glad you have some more answers and I'm glad that the doctor seems really cool.
I hope you can figure out what to say to your mom so she can calm down.
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:19 am (UTC)That doctor WAS cool. He was a little awkward with the u/s machine, but I give him an A for effort. :)
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:34 am (UTC)Jude, I am deadly serious. You're going through very similar stuff to what I went through two years ago. If you would EVER like to chat and get together for some support I would love to. I'm on vacation all next week. Please let me know via email if this is something you're interested in..... amers at post dot harvard dot edu.
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:20 am (UTC)xoxo
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:05 am (UTC)this is a totally crazy rollercoaster ride. thanks for trusting us enough to allow us to come along with you via lj. hang in there, jude. :)
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:23 am (UTC)I don't think moving and unpacking are the culprits. I actually have been on almost total bed/couch rest for the last two weeks! Yesterday I did NOTHING but lay on the couch and watch television and I had all of that bleeding!
My new plan is to just live my life. I'm not going to be stupid about it (no heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise, etc.) but I can't stay in the house. I have errands to run and I am starting my job really soon and I have to just deal with the bleeding and rest when I can.
Thanks for coming along for the ride. It seems less lonely that way!
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:05 am (UTC)This baby knows how much s/he is loved. Who wouldn't want to live, knowing that?
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:26 am (UTC)Jude, listen to me on this one - rent the doppler. I am super-crunchy, homebirthing, breastfeeding forever, yadda yadda. I rented a doppler. My issues are different from yours, but due to body image stuff plus actually I did have some bleeding, I was convinced something was wrong. And I'm not usually one to freak out, but I was seriously unable to cope. I rented one, I used it about once every two weeks until I felt movement/we could hear the hb with a fetoscope, and I felt so much better. I got one of the ones where you can record the heartbeat and then put it on your computer - I listened to it when I felt unsure instead of using the doppler everyday.
I used to be very judgmental about "those kind of women", you know, the ones who can't calm down and need to rent dopplers. Then I got pregnant and you know what? It's all about informed choice. My baby didn't need psychotic hormones going through him/her either, when 20 seconds of doppler every couple of weeks could result in 1000x less stress.
Just my own experience.
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:11 pm (UTC)We didn't get one with any kind of display or recording capabilities... my plan is to just go in, hear a couple of whooshes, and get off. I don't need to sweat about the rate or anything, just know it's there.
That's cool, though, that you had recordings on your computer. So awesome.
Thank you for sharing your feelings. We are very very similar on this.
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:12 pm (UTC)Thank you for e-mailing me and your friend. At first I did a double take because I didn't recognize the e-mail name. Ha ha ha!
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Date: 2006-12-21 04:02 am (UTC)I can't even express the enormity of my relief. I was pretty stressed. Not that any of this is about me. But it's true.
Re: The internal ultrasound.
The condom distresses me in ways I can't explain.
HOORAY FOR THE BABY.
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:13 pm (UTC)Thank you for caring. I really appreciate it.
As for the condom, I appreciated it yesterday because I was really gross up in the parts.
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Date: 2006-12-21 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:14 pm (UTC)well wishes from Chicago...
Date: 2006-12-21 04:08 am (UTC)Re: well wishes from Chicago...
Date: 2006-12-21 02:15 pm (UTC)Hug!
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Date: 2006-12-21 04:09 am (UTC)Feel better tomorrow.
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:16 pm (UTC)I'm hoping that all of this trouble in the beginning means I'll have a very uneventful end. We'll see. xo
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Date: 2006-12-21 04:12 am (UTC):)
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 05:09 am (UTC)I just read of your ordeal before going out to dinner...I couldn't stop thinking of you the whole evening.
I am soooo happy that your baby is such a little trooper!!! That angel twin is looking out for him/her!
Congratulations, you two. I will keep you in my prayers for sure, but today's news is HUGE! YAY!!!!!
Michele (crazymooshel from FF)
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:17 pm (UTC)I am really glad that angel keeps watching out for us.
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Date: 2006-12-21 05:20 am (UTC)I think you should totally be like Tom Cruise and rent the home ultrasound or whatever. Just don't make us wait four months after the birth to see baby pictures, OK? Because your PUBLIC will be really upset if you do.
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:19 pm (UTC)My fandom requires pictures. Right. Oh wait, I thought YOU had the fandom? I am totally president of the Madame Zuzu Fan Club!
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Date: 2006-12-21 05:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 01:20 pm (UTC)also thanks for keeping us all posted, im sure im not the only one who doesnt know you outside of the internet who is worried and keeping you in our thoughts and it is nice to be able to keep updated, though sometimes the post must be hard for you to write!
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Date: 2006-12-21 01:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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