Testing Fate Once Again
Dec. 20th, 2006 07:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpWe had another ultrasound today. With an OB. The head of the practice, actually. He was awfully nice.
He wanted to do an internal ultrasound today. It was painful because of the awful internal I had in the inky morning. But...
Our baby is totally hanging in there. I don't know how that's possible, but s/he was doing that fetus thing. He didn't take measurements or measure the heart rate, but there was definitely a heartbeat, and eyes (with eyelids!), and because it was an internal you could really see the individual fingers. Wacky.
He couldn't find any evidence of the subchorionic hematoma and couldn't find a physical reason for the bleeding. His theory is that my body is really confused by the lost twin, because it hasn't started to reabsorb at all. He thinks my body doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if that's true but whatever. He said we were definitely not out of the woods, especially with the heavy bleeding, but that he would expect that if we were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. But he was very cautious.
He wanted to bump my appointment up a week but because of scheduling, I'm going in on Friday, Jan 5 instead of Monday, Jan 9. So not too much different, but he wants me to have another ultrasound done as well.
We're still bleeding today, possibly from the jarring internal ultrasound, but we're hopeful at least for today. We're thinking of renting a doppler to put our minds at ease, even though I swore I would never do that.
He wanted to do an internal ultrasound today. It was painful because of the awful internal I had in the inky morning. But...
Our baby is totally hanging in there. I don't know how that's possible, but s/he was doing that fetus thing. He didn't take measurements or measure the heart rate, but there was definitely a heartbeat, and eyes (with eyelids!), and because it was an internal you could really see the individual fingers. Wacky.
He couldn't find any evidence of the subchorionic hematoma and couldn't find a physical reason for the bleeding. His theory is that my body is really confused by the lost twin, because it hasn't started to reabsorb at all. He thinks my body doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if that's true but whatever. He said we were definitely not out of the woods, especially with the heavy bleeding, but that he would expect that if we were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. But he was very cautious.
He wanted to bump my appointment up a week but because of scheduling, I'm going in on Friday, Jan 5 instead of Monday, Jan 9. So not too much different, but he wants me to have another ultrasound done as well.
We're still bleeding today, possibly from the jarring internal ultrasound, but we're hopeful at least for today. We're thinking of renting a doppler to put our minds at ease, even though I swore I would never do that.
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 01:22 pm (UTC)Jude, how the hell are you holding up so well? I am in utter awe. You, Jen, and Baby are the strongest, most amazing people.
And you all remain in my prayers.
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:25 pm (UTC)Honestly, though, when we were at the ER and there was all the blood and they couldn't find the heartbeat, I just gave it all up. All of a sudden I was just okay with whatever could possibly happen. I'm sure I will still have my moments, but I hope this sticks.
I had been trying for a while to think about what the Universe could POSSIBLY be trying to teach me through all of this drama, and I think it's about letting go and understanding that sometimes, even if I /really/ want something so badly, I can't make it happen even if I work really hard. So sometimes I have to wait and see if the Universe wants to give me things.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:27 pm (UTC)I remember not so very long ago, asking God to give me patience. And, I wanted it RIGHT THEN.
*facepalm*
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Date: 2006-12-22 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 01:29 pm (UTC)*hugs tight* I just keep praying for you, Jen & the wee one.
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:26 pm (UTC)Thank you for your prayers. I sincerely believe they are making the difference.
xo
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Date: 2006-12-21 02:42 pm (UTC)when i was pregnant with Annabelle, I used the doppler at work nearly every shift. i also used the ultrasound machine more than i'd like to admit.
do what gives you peace of mind and don't give it another thought, even if you swore you'd never do it.
how many weeks are you now?
no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:46 pm (UTC)TWELVE WEEKS AND ONE DAY TODAY!!
(Not that I'm excited or anything.)
Hot damn, all that u/s and doppler and A'belle is an amazing kid. So I have nothing to worry about.
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Date: 2006-12-21 03:43 pm (UTC)12 weeks! pregnancy flies by when someone else is doing the gestating...
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Date: 2006-12-22 10:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-22 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 03:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-22 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-22 10:19 pm (UTC)Man, my belly is getting poochy!!
p.s More pictures of Maia!
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Date: 2006-12-22 10:26 pm (UTC)Did you see my pictures on flickr?
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Date: 2006-12-26 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-26 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-25 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-26 02:36 am (UTC)