Testing Fate Once Again

[judecorp]

We had another ultrasound today. With an OB. The head of the practice, actually. He was awfully nice.

He wanted to do an internal ultrasound today. It was painful because of the awful internal I had in the inky morning. But...

Our baby is totally hanging in there. I don't know how that's possible, but s/he was doing that fetus thing. He didn't take measurements or measure the heart rate, but there was definitely a heartbeat, and eyes (with eyelids!), and because it was an internal you could really see the individual fingers. Wacky.

He couldn't find any evidence of the subchorionic hematoma and couldn't find a physical reason for the bleeding. His theory is that my body is really confused by the lost twin, because it hasn't started to reabsorb at all. He thinks my body doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if that's true but whatever. He said we were definitely not out of the woods, especially with the heavy bleeding, but that he would expect that if we were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. But he was very cautious.

He wanted to bump my appointment up a week but because of scheduling, I'm going in on Friday, Jan 5 instead of Monday, Jan 9. So not too much different, but he wants me to have another ultrasound done as well.

We're still bleeding today, possibly from the jarring internal ultrasound, but we're hopeful at least for today. We're thinking of renting a doppler to put our minds at ease, even though I swore I would never do that.

Comments

[lunamoonwmn01.livejournal.com]

Thank god, yay!

Jude, listen to me on this one - rent the doppler. I am super-crunchy, homebirthing, breastfeeding forever, yadda yadda. I rented a doppler. My issues are different from yours, but due to body image stuff plus actually I did have some bleeding, I was convinced something was wrong. And I'm not usually one to freak out, but I was seriously unable to cope. I rented one, I used it about once every two weeks until I felt movement/we could hear the hb with a fetoscope, and I felt so much better. I got one of the ones where you can record the heartbeat and then put it on your computer - I listened to it when I felt unsure instead of using the doppler everyday.

I used to be very judgmental about "those kind of women", you know, the ones who can't calm down and need to rent dopplers. Then I got pregnant and you know what? It's all about informed choice. My baby didn't need psychotic hormones going through him/her either, when 20 seconds of doppler every couple of weeks could result in 1000x less stress.

Just my own experience.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Man, you are totally speaking my language. To a T. Because that is SO me - I always said I didn't want to be one of "those pregnant women," but you're right, at this point in time we need the reassurance and that is better than the up and down stress. If using a doppler for a few seconds every couple of days keeps the stress level down, it will be better for everyone in the long run.

We didn't get one with any kind of display or recording capabilities... my plan is to just go in, hear a couple of whooshes, and get off. I don't need to sweat about the rate or anything, just know it's there.

That's cool, though, that you had recordings on your computer. So awesome.

Thank you for sharing your feelings. We are very very similar on this.

[mayna.livejournal.com]

I totally agree... with my first I was nervous all the time about whether there was a baby really in there, and what if something is wrong and all that. But I wasn't having any bleeding either. If you can easily find the heartbeat with a doppler, GO FOR IT... anything to reduce stress is worth it. I'm kind of blase being on kid #3 but I'm not having any bleeding and it's not like I had to go through months of spending $$ on treatments to even get pregnant either. Your posts are making ME get all jittery about your pregnancy, if I was in your shoes I would totally rent one.

And I am so glad that baby A is hanging in there.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We are definitely glad that we rented the doppler. We are trying to use it sparingly but it is so tempting to get a quick listen. But we're 13 weeks today, so here's hoping the drama is over and we can ALL relax a little. :)

I know you're blase about everything but I really hope everything is great and uneventful with #3!