Blogging for Choice

[judecorp]

We chose to try to get pregnant. It was long, tedious, difficult work. It was emotional, stressful, and time-consuming. It took a lot of planning and a lot of money. This is what we were willing to do.

We chose to try to get pregnant. And when we were successful, we were ecstatic. We were invincible. We were on top of the world!

We chose to try to get pregnant. It has been a bumpy ride. We have been watching a baby grow and listening to its little heart. We have been watching it dance around beside its dead sibling. We have mourned a loss, feared another, overanalyzed everything. It is difficult work. It is emotional, stressful, and life-consuming. This is what we are willing to do.

We chose to try to get pregnant. No, we don't have "enough" money. No, we will never have "enough" money. No, we're not sure about child care and college funds and long-term planning. It is stressful and frightening. It is overwhelming at times.

We chose to try to get pregnant. It will take both of our talents and both of our ideas. It is emotional and exciting. We are grateful and honored and optimistic. We worked hard; we are working hard. It is not always easy, but it is what we want.

Pregnancy happens sometimes. Not really to people like us, not accidentally anyway... but it does. It's a tough road to a wild, unpredictable ride. And if you don't want to do it or don't think you can handle it, there is a choice.

Having a child is the most important choice we have ever made together. It should always be a choice. Own your body. Own your choices. Own your rights.

Comments

[kcmedc.livejournal.com]

Amen sister.

[supergoat.livejournal.com]

I understand the point of the post but I don't get the (seemingly) defensive money section.

[somerandomchic.livejournal.com]

People are often very judgemental of folks when they choose to have a baby, and ask rather obnoxious prying questions about finances and such.

[lunamoonwmn01.livejournal.com]

yeah, what she said. And people can tend to be especially dumb about the money stuff when you are a queer same-sex couple b/c you can't just "oops" get pregnant, so they assume it's their business to tell you their opinion.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Wow. Well said. You've inspired me to write my own.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

A lot of people like to tell other people they shouldn't have kids because they "can't afford them." Whether or not someone's said this to me is irrelevent. Maybe they have, maybe they haven't. But choice goes all ways, and extends to the "if you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em" folks who seem to think that having children is a right that only carries over to the wealthy.

[marshmelococoa.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I couldn't agree more.

[artjax.livejournal.com]

Nice Post, J.

[hoo.livejournal.com]

There's no such thing as enough money to have children. It's a comfort level thing, and I doubt anyone really feels secure about it, no matter what their level of income.

Well, barring a lottery win.

[halleyscomet.livejournal.com]

I like the way my mother put it:

"If everyone waited until they could 'afford' kids, no one would ever have any."

[luloubelle.livejournal.com]

Amen. That kid is going to be lucky to have two such incredible parental units. :)

[mnsnstar.livejournal.com]

You're doing a wonderful thing bringing a child into this world. Don't let anyone tell you differently!! And you and Jen are going to be great parents!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

True. But there seems to be some amount where society decides it's "not enough," and those people who choose to have children with less than that get a LOT of crap from people.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope that's true!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope so. We certainly have our own difficulties (not that anyone doesn't), but there is extra pressure to be "good enough" when the majority doesn't think you have any business having kids.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yay!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Good! I like when you write.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Word.